photo by Jen Lemen

Today’s you’re getting all 3Q’s of Interview goodness with story teller and Squam instructor, Jen Lee. Jen offers soulful, like-a-warm-bath retreats in a Brooklyn brownstone, with fabulous guests and wise co-teachers. Here’s this from Jen about the upcoming Integrate: A Voice and Story Retreat in NYC:

Sometimes we feel like a mass of contradictions, or a swirl of inner battles.  We think that recovering our voice will mean we can finally speak up or speak out, or move our pen across a page.  And these things are all true, but they’re not the whole story. Your voice–and your story–are also keys to unlock the parts of yourself you’ve labelled “no access”. There’s a way to stand in the middle with arms outstretched to either side, a way to close the chasm between: your body and mind, your intuition and reason, your courage and your fear. There’s a way to pull all your parts into a strong unison. Come. We’ll begin together.

As I write this, Jen has just one spot left for the Integrate retreat. Today we’re talking about the retreat, being brave, and the power of story. Here’s Jen Lee…

Q. What inspired you to create this particular retreat theme?  

This is the conversation I’ve been living and breathing in recent times.  My dear friend, Phyllis Mathis, has helped me so much with my own journey toward integration (I consider this terrain one of her specialties), and I thought this would be a powerful conversation to generate together and share.  

Our fragmented parts and the pieces we have hiding in the shadows are highly relevant for people who are on a journey toward finding and developing their voices.  Many people are limited in their writing or crippled in their storytelling from their fear of these parts of themselves leaking out of their pens or wriggling their way into their stories.  

We are slowed in our creative work, and so often caught in cycles of struggle and striving when we aren’t tapped into all of our inner sources of power and energy.  This retreat is designed to be a decisive first step in releasing those currents, greeting and welcoming all of our parts with love and courage, and caring for ourselves in a deep and profound way.

Q. What would you say to people whose Gremlins are telling them they aren’t cool enough, or deep enough, or storied enough to be at the retreat?

I’m sure I’m not cool enough, wise enough or storied enough to host the retreat, so come anyway–clearly you’ll be in good company. 

It takes something to come–it takes trust that an ocean of love and acceptance are waiting for you inside the walls of a beautiful Brooklyn brownstone.  It takes courage to trust that little part of you that REALLY WANTS to be there, and love to let her have this good thing. I know it’s hard. Love can be the most frightening thing of all.  But you can find insights here that will be game-changers in your life, and you won’t be alone–ever–along the way.

Q. Storytelling is wide, powerful and healing. Can you distill it a little and tell us one or two things about why you think story telling is important?

Julia Cameron talks about our stories and personal histories as “the origin” of our creative work, and her description helps me imagine them as a geography to explore and chart.  This geography is a source of wisdom about where we’ve come from, a discernment tool for finding our path in the present, and a rich, fertile ground in which our dreams for the future take root and grow.  I believe, as Cameron writes, that a connection to these stories generates originality in our work. The findings of Dr. Brene Brown indicate that our story is the primary place for us to locate our worthiness, which is central to how we’re being in the world.  Our story may be the most essential thing about us.

It certainly is one of the most powerful elements of human connection.  Learning to share our stories and to receive the stories of others is central in forming the kind of nurturing and connected friendships and communities that we long for. To have your story is to have a key to yourself.

 What is one story that is powerful in your life right now and what is it speaking to you? We’d love to hear a synopsis in the comments below. Thank you for being here.

Today in our 1Q Interview  we are lucky to have Carrie McCarthy with us, author of  Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design. She’s giving us some insider’s tips on how to help your home become a reflection of your truest self.

Q. In our on-line community, Flock, we just completed the “Home + Stuff” section of Style Statement. Several of our members were surprised to find that there were a lot of very pretty things in thier homes– but not so many things that truly represented who they were.

Do you find this to be a common experience? What beginning steps could these folks take to start thinning out their stuff so it better reflects what they truly treasure?

It is very common to take stock of our stuff – which includes all areas of our life and discover we don’t like what we see.

When applied to your home these three simple steps will give you clarity and results you’ll love.

EDIT
Tour your home and really look at you stuff. Make two truthful lists: “Love it” and “Loose it.” Catalog everything, including art. It’s all based on how you feel. Maybe you come across a chair that irks you, but you’ve kept it because it was your grandmothers and you need a chair. Pay attention to the reasons you have things in your space – and categorize accordingly.

APPRECIATE
Collect items you love, including your clothes. Sift through collections, mementos. Check your mantel, bookshelves, and closets. Focus on the items that make you feel beautiful and joyful, the ones that inspire you to stand tall. Keep these items. Recycle, sell or donate the rest.

ADD
Tap your memory and imagination. Close your eyes and remember the places you love to be and why you love them. Recall hotels, films, music, and books that have resonated. Then go into fantasy mode. “Imagine real life constraints don’t apply.  Then picture your dream home, what you’re wearing to the Oscars, and what you would do with 24 hours of bliss.

Look for the common threads – design, colors, shapes materials, vibe – among the things you love. Let your brain be loose and free to wander and wonder. Make a list, create a vision board; this helps translate your tastes into smart shopping choices. Remember a beautiful landscape is based on what feels good and what you love.  

Bonus Q: What projects are you working on now that you are excited about?

I’m so excited to have been featured in Real SimpleMarch issue. It was a privilege to work with such a professional and creative team. As well, I’ve been asked to contribute to a new personal development site, in partnership with ehow, I’ll be in good company with Deepak Chopra and Desmond Tutu. Parentsask has asked me to be a lifestyle expert on their popular website.

I continue to work with clients from all over the world and have created Jumpstart sessions for our readers who need a nudge to discover and understand their Style Statement. And we receive many requests to license Style Statement and train consultants. Stay tuned!!

Want to hear more from Carrie McCarthy? Our 1Q interviews always turn into 3Q Interviews at our one line soulspa, Flock: soulcare with Magpie Girl. Come join us !

egg, 7×5 oil on hardboard panel

This morning in our One Q Interview, I’m excited to introduce you to my soulsister, Jolie Guillebeau. Jolie is an artists living in Portland, Oregon, and has just kicked off a new project: 100 Painting in 100 Days. There’s something on the easel every day at Jolie’s place — and lucky you! You can buy her art work at ridiculously low prices. The painting from day one costs just $1. Day two, $2. You get the idea. I’ve already bought a beautiful still life of an egg, and I’m skulking around her mailing list waiting for other kitchen-related items to appear.

Jolie has taught me a lot about setting your vision and reaching a firm, clear goal. (That second part is problem for my monkey-mind). Today she talks to us about goal setting, and reaching for 100.

Q:   You and your hubs are like the queen and king of goal setting. What made you choose this ambitious goal of 100 paintings in 100 days? What are you hoping to learn about yourself and your creative process in the midst of this challenge?

Queen of goal setting? I’m not so sure.

Mostly it was about getting myself back in front of my easel. 2009 was a really hard year in a lot of ways for several reasons. We moved away from our community in Seattle to Portland (where I didn’t know anyone), and I lost my moorings for awhile. I had artsy friends in Seattle and worked at a museum, so I was getting regular feedback and always talking and thinking about my work with other people. Once we moved to Portland, I missed that and I found my well of creativity dried out pretty quickly. I floundered and my self-esteem plummeted.

It took me nearly a year to find roots here in Portland, and find some of that community again. By December, I had that support, and I was on my way again, but I hadn’t really picked up a paintbrush in months. So (of course) I set goals. We went away on our annual goal setting vacation, and I read (or re-read) a few books that inspired me: Making a Living Without a Job; Write It Down, Make It Happen; and  The Gift by Hafiz. Then I started making a plan.

On that trip, I decided my word for 2010 would be “Stretch.” And I tried to figure out what that meant for me. I’m pretty comfortable with my painting style, which was something I worked on in the past, but because of perfectionism I’m pretty slow. Which means that it generally takes me around 30-50 hours to get a painting to a point that I’m happy with it. At that rate, it’s pretty hard to sell a painting at a living wage. So I decided to stretch my perfectionist tendencies. Making 100 paintings in 100 days was the best way to do that for me.

Also, making a commitment like this puts me in front of my easel everyday. I have to paint now, people are watching. I don’t have time to let myself get stuck. And, for me, the more I paint, the better I feel about myself and the quieter The Gremlins get.

Want to hear more from Jolie Guillebeau? Join us at our on-line soulspa, Flock: soulcare with Magpie Girl.  Our 1Q interviews always turn into 3Q Interviews in the Flock. Jolie’s answering our questions about balancing “fast and dirty” work with quality work. She’s also helping us suss out healthier ways of thinking about how (and how much) we get paid for the work of our hands (and our hearts.) Come join us in the Flock!

Today in our One Q Interview we’re talking to Jim Henderson co- founder of Off the Map, CEO of Jim Henderson Presents, and host of Church Rater.

Church Rater is a website on which people are paid (or volunteer) to rate churches, and where churches can pay to have their services rated. Similar to Trip Advisor, where you can see customer reviews of hotel rooms, Church Rater provides what Jim calls “the unvarnished truth” about your local house of worship.

I’ve been a  fan of Jim’s no-nonsense approach to Christianity for a long time, and was fortunate to have him as my mentor during the opening days of my own localized community, Monkfish Abbey. Now he and I continue to be on parallel paths as he works on-line with Church Rater with the tag line “finding a church that fits;” and I work on-line with Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl, where our motto is “finding a spirituality that fits.”

Today we’ll ask Jim a question about Church Rater, and find out why a person who doesn’t go to church would be in this particular game.

Q: Jim, it’s no big secret that you and I are not the most consistent church attendees in the world. In fact I can remember sitting with you at a bar once, cooking up an idea for a church that only met to make music and tell stories, required a support fee up front (instead of haphazard tithe), and didn’t meet at all during the Summer. Given your less-than-traditional approach to church, what makes you so passionate about helping Churches and church-goers make a good connection?

A: I parachuted into Christianity as a young adult. That means I have no cultural/familial affiliation with the Christian religion. I also have serious questions about what we call Christianity having anything to do with Jesus. However I have spent the majority of my adult life with Christians and have come to admire, respect and love many of them. I know they agree with me that the church needs to be a better place, a more open and welcoming place. They know that Jesus would find it hard to “go to church” if he were here or even be called a “Christian”.

ChurchRater is a mirror that we hold up firmly, respectfully and even lovingly. We invite the Church to take look and If they like what they see they can keep doing more of it , if they don’t they can change. We specialize in helping Christians see themselves through the eyes of Outsiders (a name we stole from David Kinnaman that is more polite than the more commonly used  “lost” while still drawing a line of distinction Christians have mindlessly drawn to separate ourselves from “them”). I do this because I seek to follow Jesus who favored Outsiders and used them to provoke Insiders. That is my spiritual path.

I found Jim on a ladder, painting the side of my house. But you can find him at Off The Map, or get to know him by reading his books Jim and Caspar Go to Church, and Evangelism Without Additives.  Keep an eye out for his upcoming books The Resignation of Eve- a series of interviews exploring how Women feel about church, Christianity and Christians; and The Outsider Interviews with Todd Hunter and Craig Spinks.  Plus, find out about his interview with Ira Glass, and hear what Jim thinks my odds are for finding a church that will fit my particular bill by reading the full interview at Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl. Thanks for being here!

Today in our One Q Interview we have money coach Kate Phillips, who’s here to give us some tips about all-too-common misunderstandings women have about money. Kate is a singer-song writer, single mother, and financially independent . (Not a combination you find often!) I’ve been delighted to learn from her soulful, yet practical perspective over the years. I feel inspired and empowered by Kate’s financial success.

Need even more help with money? You can read the rest of her interview at Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl. And I’m excited to announce that Kate will be joining our panel of soulcare providers, offering Flock members a monthly Ask an Expert column on Money Healing.  Plus, if you live near Seattle, you can catch her local class on Living in Abudance (for Women only!).  And so, dear Magpie Girl readers…here’s Kate!

Money and Abundance: Clear Your Thinking
by Kate Phillips

Q. What are the most common mistakes or misconceptions you see women carrying around about money and abundance? 

It’s “the cart before the horse” – many women want to find or create a better financial situation so that they can “have security.” However, our financial assets can’t give us ”security.” I’ve coached people from multi-millionaires to those living from unemployment check to unemployment check, and the truth is that security is found in peace of mind and the ability to respond powerfully to any external circumstance, not in net worth or income. 

When we learn that WE are our greatest asset and understand that our financial assets are only an outgrowth of the value we offer to the world and an extension of a “worthy” self-concept, we will work on developing ourselves and building the confidence and knowledge that we are enough. That’s how we create wealth and real security, which starts on the inside. External wealth will flow from that, but wealth built without the internal foundation will be fleeting… not unlike the majority of lottery winners, who wind up broke two years later.

You see, money is never just about money… I call it “the mirror and the magnifying glass,” because it reveals to us what’s going on underneath the surface of our lives. Learning to relate powerfully and intentionally to money is actually deep spiritual work for those who choose to take it on.

Here are some other common misconceptions… 

1) There is some magical Law of Attraction manifestation formula, and if we learn and say the right affirmation, it will work like some kind of magic spell. The real work is aligning ourselves to our highest intentions and acting from that place, not reciting the right affirmation 20x a day. My blog post on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Always Work  explores this further.

2) Being financially wealthy means never having to “look at the right hand side of the menu;“ having more than we need; and being able to indulge ourselves in self-pampering delights. I was surprised at first to discover that self-made millionaire business women never stop being conscious about their spending, often consider themselves “frugal” (or at least, with simple tastes), and generally only shop with a list.

The habits that have allowed millionairesses to build wealth are ones of discipline and consciousness about where their money goes. If we desire wealth so that we can engage in emotional spending habits with abandon, we’re not likely to ever be able to build or keep wealth. Living below one’s means is the habitual pattern of wealthy women, not splurging. But it’s not matter of self-deprivation or even willpower, it’s about becoming women who know how to nurture their emotional needs without the use of a credit card. It’s about becoming intentional in our spending, and aligning our finances with our values.

3. All I need is the right financial “plan,” “strategy,” or  ”information” to build wealth. Well, there is no lack of information about how to build wealth, lose weight, or run a marathon, but even when we intend to accomplish those goals, few of us do. A good strategy helps, but the best of plans does not guarantee action.

So why don’t we take empowered action around money, weight loss, or fitness? If I want to lose weight, I should eat less and exercise more, it’s not rocket science, right? So when I don’t act according to my intentions, I’ve got to dig deeper and see what’s going on with my beliefs, emotions, expectations and other aspects of my mindset. Otherwise, all the financial information in the world will fail to make a lasting difference. I’ll be trying to change the “fruit” without changing the “root.”

Kate Phillips a certified coach and trainer who works with women and solo-preneurs to help them create wealth from the inside out. With a holistic approach to prosperity (from strategic to energetic), Kate helps clients address matters of “money, mind, and spirit” through private and group phone sessions as well as Seattle-area workshops. Visit Kate at Total Wealth Coaching for upcoming course information, or at her blog, The Garden of Plenty and receive a 10% discount on her Spring course offerings or private coaching. Thank you for being here!

Good morning Magpie Girl readers, and welcome to our weekly guest post. With the start of a new year comes a new form of guest posting: The One Q Interview. These interviews are designed to give you a nice wallop of insight in a neat little package.  It’s a perfect quick read Monday morning before you dig into work.

This week we have Licia Berry, author, wise woman, and teacher of Faces of Her: An educational and experiential exploration of the Sacred Feminine Within.  Today Licia is giving us what I call the YBH? — yes, but how? —  on how to have meaningful, nurturing family meetings.

Q: In 2007 you, your husband and your two boys sold all your possessions and lived on the road in an RV. In your efforts to “reclaim the heart of your family” you established Pyramid Meetings at The Round Table. Will you tell us about those meetings, how they worked and what their purpose was?

Actually, we did that starting in 2003 (we took a second shorter trip in 2007 to look for a new place to live).  The first trip was 2 years, the second was 6 months.  Even though we were living in a rural town in Colorado for the interim time, we did not feel we were done with our journey until now!

The “Pyramid Meetings” came about as a much needed attempt to bring us into closer proximity as a family, physically as well as emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning Magpie Girl readers, and welcome to our weekly guest post. With the start of a new year comes a new form of guest posting: The One Q Interview. These interviews are designed to give you a nice wallop of insight in a neat little package.  It’s a perfect quick read Monday morning before you dig into work.

Annabel Fitzsimmons of Clear Space comes to us today with some ideas about seeing your old patterns through new eyes  in this week’s One Q Interview:

 
Q:  Annabel, In your New Year’s Post at Clear Space, you talk about looking at old stories with new eyes. Sometimes it can be hard to see a familiar situation afresh. What is one tip or technique you use when you need to get a fresh take on something that’s been with you for awhile. How do you get started seeing something anew?

A: When I need to look at an old story with new eyes, my main goal is to get clarity on the situation. I ask questions:

• Why do I need a fresh start?
• Do I need to let go of old thought patterns, habits or behaviours in order to refresh this story?
•  Do my life circumstances support me in all of this?

By being clear about why we desire to see something anew, we are able to move forward with greater ease.

Then, as I re-enter my story with fresh eyes, I try to put the concepts of compassion and non-judgment (both for myself and others) into practice. These two principles keep us aware and conscious of our thoughts and actions.

And finally, I try to bring a sense of humour to everything. Finding the lightness in our circumstances can buoy us up, give us perspective, and more importantly simply make us feel good!

Annabel Fitzsimmons offers resources that help you “live your balance” at Clear Space. Get introduced to her beautiful voice with her free morning yoga and guided relaxation downloads, and join her membership site for an on-going selection healthful goodies.

One Q Interviews are posted Mondays at Magpie Girl.  Flock  members also receive an extended interview with Annabel including her tips on how to manage a break up;  ideas for ‘putting the ‘om’ in Mom’; and the chance to win a one month membership at Clear Space. (Join us!)  Thank you for being here!

photo by Christine Valters Paintner

“Busyness is a form of innate violence in this world and when we try and do too many things and stretch ourselves too thin, we participate in that violence.”
 - Christine  Valters Paintner, paraphrasing a lecture by Thomas Merton

Good morning Magpie Girl readers, and welcome to our weekly guest post. With the start of a new year comes a new form of guest posting: The One Q Interview. These interviews are designed to give you a nice wallop of insight in a neat little package.  It’s a perfect quick read Monday morning before you dig into work.

This week, Christine Valters Paintner of Abbey of the Arts is with us once again. She’s helping us reconcile the demands of a busy culture with our need for contemplation and silence. Here’s Christine’s intriguing answer to this weeks’ One Q Interview:

Q:  You are a Benedictine Oblate and are drawn to the contemplative life. In a culture that values busyness and loudness, how do you talk to yourself about your need for solitude, rest, contemplation, and silence?

 A: For many years I struggled with my contemplative call.  I wrestled with a lot of inner messages about what “doing enough” meant. When I heard these voices they often sounded like my father supported by a chorus of society’s messages about how to define my value.

Then I found my tribe – my community of fellow Benedictine oblates – being an oblate is about my commitment to living out monastic values in everyday life.  This community is rooted in a spiritual lineage that goes back 1500 years to St. Benedict and Benedict was deeply influenced by the desert mothers and fathers who came before him.  I discovered in this tradition that my hunger for solitude and silence, for spaciousness, for a gentler and more compassionate way of being, were all ancient paths.  I recognized a wisdom much deeper than my own.

I read a passage from Thomas Merton once that rocked my thinking.  He was addressing ministers and activists and said that busyness is a form of innate violence in this world and when we try and do too many things and stretch ourselves too thin, we participate in that violence.  His words literally transformed my thinking about contemplative living from one that was rooted in my own deep desire for wholeness to seeing contemplation as a social witness to a different way of being in the world.  I live a contemplative life in part to show others what might be possible when we live our way, day by day, into shalom.

Now here’s One Q for you, dear reader: Does the pace of your life suit your soul? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD is a teacher, photographer, and writer from Seattle, WA. In addition to offering us her wisdom, Christine is also giving all Magpie Girl readers a one-time, 10% discount off of anything she offers Abbey of the Arts, including her amazing classes: Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist; Eyes of the Heart: Photography as Spiritual Practice; and Lenten ECourse: Benedictine Spiritual Practices. (Offer good until January 31, 2010, use the code Magpie10 when ordering).

One Q Interviews are posted Mondays at Magpie Girl. Later this week, Flock  members also receive an extended interview with Christine and a chance to win a seat in one of her classes. (Join us!) Thank you for being here!