One-moment Memoirs
by Jenna McGuiggan

That moment when you’re washing dishes, and you see your own hand holding a little metal bouquet of silverware, and for a second you think it’s your mother’s hand.

That moment when your beloved touches your cheek, and you know in your bones that something fundamental has shifted.

That moment when you hear the loud summer buzz of cicadas, and a line of poetry floats into your mind, begging you to capture it for later.

That moment when the sun slants just so, or the clock ticks too loudly, or you get the phone call you’ve been waiting for. Those moments big and small, those moments that matter, those moments that you want to live inside of, or make sense of, or share with others.

Some experiences beg us to write about them, but we often feel overwhelmed when trying to capture the whole story at once. One-moment Memoirs helps you take a relaxed yet focused approach to telling life’s big and small stories in bite-sized pieces.

In this workshop we’ll explore the art of short-form storytelling, also known as “flash creative nonfiction” (which also happens to be the prefect size for blog posts). Using writing prompts and exercises designed to help you connect with the heart of your story, we’ll dig into the details of a single moment. You’ll use these to write your very own one-moment memoir in two to three pages.

I’ll be teaching One-moment Memoirs online as part of wishBIG ecampin February. I’ll also be teaching a full-day workshop version of it this May for The Midwest Be Present Retreatin Culver, Indiana.

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Curated Care (formerly known as Tools of The Trade) features carefully selected courses, books, and other treasure that will feed your beautiful soul. I take pride in only reviewing only trustworthy, totally-worth-it products and services. I believe in this product 100%. To see some evergreen products and service providers I enjoy, click here. To read all my review posts, click here. Thanks for being here today Magpie!

I’m doing a lot more writing these days. I love it. Writing is a juicy practice for me. The editing…the revisions, the wrapping-it-all up, not so much. But the first draft, I love.

Knowing that I need to be spending even more time writing, I put out a call for accountability and my inspiring friend Melaine Martin issued me a deadline.

04 May 2011. I pledged to have written a book by that date. I may not have a publisher, but dangummit, there’ll be a book.

I’ve started book projects before, so I know I’ll need some advice and encouragement along the way if I’m going to get to DONE. That’s why I’m grateful for Heather Plett of Sophia Leadership. She assembled a free ebook full of quotes from 27 authors who give you their best writing tips, (including me!) Click here to download Writing to Impact Change. May it encourage you to tell your story today.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle
*your magpie girl

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Curated Care (formerly known as Tools of The Trade) features carefully selected courses, books, and other treasure that will feed your beautiful soul. I take pride in only reviewing only trustworthy, totally-worth-it products and services. To see some evergreen products and service providers I enjoy, click here. To read all my review posts, click here. Thanks for being here today Magpie!

Also, I am a terrible actress.

So today I want to give you little peek into the neurosis that is me, trying to build a model for my work that is sustainable. (ie. some stuff for free, some stuff for fee) 

As you know, I’ve recently launched an online soul spa, Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl. You may also have heard that I’m in the process of writing a book and creating content for several ECourses. Oh, and P.S., revamping my website. Right now most of these are in various stages of production, and all of them are stuck until my lovely designer can finish the artwork. (Apparently this does not happen by magic, nor overnight. Damn.)

Oh, and p.s. more money is going out than is coming in.

I have been blogging for 7 years, false-starting books for the last 3, and trying to figure out how to offer soulcare to a happy band of misfits for as long as I can remember. Now, when I’m ready to send things out in the world I feel stymied and stuck.

I can’t tell if I’m “going slow to go fast,” or just fucking things up.

My Gremlins are telling me that I’m charging to much, and that people don’t like me, and that my lack of art and computer skills are going to bog me down forever. Basically all the normal things the Gremlins say.  I’ve fed them taffy and made them martinis– I’ve even taken them out for a walk,  and nothing is calming them down.

So here is what I am going to do:

1) I will tell you True Things about this process.
2) You will SEE them.
3) This will help the Real feel  more Real. 

So if you could, if you wouldn’t mind…after reading this could you please put a note, or at least “I SEE  YOU” in the comments? That would really, really help.

Thanks!

1. “Honoring my Work Makes it More Powerful” — This is my mantra. It reminds me to charge for things. (I have to say it a lot.)

2. Heretics break new ground. Don’t fear the stake.

3. “It’s all happening.”

4. Your creative pattern is “wait, wait, GO!”  Watch for the green light.

5. You don’t have to be afraid of being big…

6. …and Small is Beautiful.

7. Generosity is a form of wisdom. Even if the people you promoted don’t promote you back, it is still worth taking the time to help out.

8.Eventually you will tip, go viral, and find (more) of your people.

Okay folks, time for me to go back to creating products. I knew I could count on you!

Thanks for being here.

You guys, I am so depressed. Seriously, the last three days I have barely gotten out of bed. The winter is kicking my ass. And yet, everyday, I write. What are the mantras you say to get you thru the resistance? Do tell!

*8 Mantras for Writers

1) hello resistance. hope you’ll be going along soon.
2) you can show up at the page.
3) breathe the next breath, write the next word.
4) you don’t have to be first or best, just creating is worth it.
5) your story matters, sing it from the rooftops.
6) shitty first drafts are writing.
7) everything counts: outlining, drafting, editing.
8) any writing is enough for today.

What are your mantras for fighting resistance? Organize your mind and give us a little preview in the comments, or grab a buttonand play along. If you post on your list on your blog, please give us the permalink in the Mr. Linky below so we can come say hi! Thanks for being here.

The monkey-ish part of my mind is telling me that everything is going to fall apart: I’ll get sick again and not be able to keep up. No one will pay for my services and skill. And the loudest message of all: “Everyone Else is more Helpful than You.”

I’m embarrassingly predictable.

Part of this pattern is attributable to my religious upbringing, which drilled into my subconscious this If/Then clause:

If you ‘step out to do God’s work’ then you will ‘come under attack.’

I point this out because I know many of my readers are in the same boat. I think part of what we do here together, is to re-write our inner narratives so they reflects more health, more shalom. When my voices loom large and I start defining things as “attack,” it helps to remember that this discombobulated feeling is actually a normal part of the creative process; that many of my artistic friends express the same phenomenon; and that like the physical reality of childbirth, eventually these hormonally-things level out.

In the wake of this gremlin uprising, I decided to check in with some of my favorite writers. Once a week or so I go through the blogs on my RSS feeds. I follow about 50 people, and checking in on them is one of my favorite things to do when I feel stuck, or overwhelmed, or lonely. There is so much beauty in these writers and artists, so much wisdom, and hope and breakthrough. Today was no different. Everyone seemed to have cooked up good stuff over the holidays. But this time, instead of inspiring me, those rich, winsome posts started getting me down. “See,” said the monkey gremlins “I told you Everyone Else is More Helpful than You.”

I started getting whiney. Whiney, insecure, and jealous. I don’t want those feelings. I don’t even feel like they belong to me. They belong to my miserly, selfish, un-generous Evil Twin. The real me is grateful and generous. The real me celebrates the success and wisdom of Other Women. The real me is Dangerously Giving. The real me is madly in love with Abundance and throws things out into the universe two handfuls at a time.

So in an effort to quite my Gremlins, settle my Monkey Mind, and banish my Evil Twin, I decided to sing. (Tra La La!) As an antidote, I am Singing the Praises of kind bloggers who have brought wisdom, insight and beauty into my life today. I’m honoring their Passion and Attentiveness. I’m saying: “Hey, look over there at what THEY did!” Most of all, I’m being grateful. Because at my core, that is my truest self.

May you find all these good things and more today.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

Bloggers to Banish The Gremlin Blues

If you need to banish fear from your life: write a Dear Fear letter with The Penny Has Dropped. (She starts with “Dear Fear, fuck off….). And for more on fear, have a cuppa with the ElderWoman (via Anchors and Masts).

If you need a rite of letting go for the New Year:  Pink Coyote has a powerful one. (It involves fire!)

If you need to set aside all the rush and emotion and ups and downs of The Holidays and just celebrate possibility, The Bliss Chick can help.

If you are dreading re-entry to your work/school/normal routine, The Girl Who Cried Epiphany has some good thoughts on dealing with other people’s energy. (A constant growing edge for me.)

Who gave you the food you needed today? Share some link love in the comments below and pass the goodness on!

The publishing and writing schedule for Magpie Girl and Flock…as scribbled out during the kid’s gospel choir rehearsal last night. (Work where you can.)

I am on pins and needles waiting for my designer to upload the finalized version of our new endeavor – Flock with Magpie Girl. Flock is “a nesting place for restless souls” with lots of courses for spiritual nurture, all offered at one monthly price. Think of it as a spa for your soul! The bonus to this method is that it creates an on-going place for a soultribe to gather, and it allows for the kind of teaching-learning process I so adore. We can really fill up the giant pool of wisdom with the Flock!

I like knowing how artists and other creative people work. If you are intrigued by that too, here’s a peek into the process of starting our Flock.

Initially Flock started out as an idea for two Ecourses. But as I worked through 31 Days to A Better Blog and started on the elevator pitches for my Ecourses, I realized what I really wanted was an ongoing on-line soultribe. I’d already done some vocational work with my amazing life coach, Jena Strong, and knew that community building was a skill I’d been practicing for a long time. The short-term nature of Ecourses wouldn’t scratch my community building itch. Since reading Chris Guillebeau’s Art + Money, I had been thinking about opening a membership site. But I had allowed  the outside voices of Conventional Wisdom and Fear to negate my intuitive pull towards that option. As I embraced the membership site as a viable choice, things started moving into place.

Jennifer McGuiggan helped me move through the wheel of work, which made me realize I needed a partner to get through the bottom half of the wheel – the execution half. So I scraped my money together and hired Neil Sittler of Stickflower Design to help me get a website ready. This was important because my work with Jena had already shown me that “beauty” was high on my list of guiding values, and that if I didn’t have a esthetically pleasing site, I wouldn’t be able to tap into the right energy to sustain a long-term project such as an online soulcare community.

While Neil worked on the site, soulsisters Lisa Alexander and Jamie Ridler coached me on values-based pricing, so that I would not consider my pattern of chronically under-charging. I was still struggling with setting a price that truly reflected the value of my work, when Jen Lemen suggested I do muscle testing to connect with my inner wisdom on the matter. After a truly amazing round of muscle testing with my daughter Eden, I finally came to a place of  confidence with my pricing choices.

I also decided to face my fear of asking for help so I asked a few soulcare providers I know and adore to come on board as expert advisers for Flock. And while I cannot announce who quite yet, I’m happy to say that my dream team of (therapist, life coach, and dream analyst and more) is starting to come together for our “Ask the Experts” column.

Finally, yesterday I sat down and wrote out a schedule of what I’m going to be posting each day both at Magpie Girl and at Flock, and what day I’d have to write it in order to get it posted professionally, on time, and well-edited. Because my health is a bit of a crap shoot, I included a day to write “stockpiled” posts so I have something to keep the goodness flowing when chronic pain sets me back for awhile.

Now I’m just waiting for the last odds and ends to get done on the website, and before Christmas we will have sign ups ready for our New Year’s launch! (Join my mailing list for a grand opening discount.)

As I write this post I realize once again how blessed I am to have this (almost entirely virtual) community around me. Those mentioned here, and others as well, helped me get past my sticking points and uncover the “ah ha” moments I needed to get through this process. I’m also struck by how Jen Lemen’s advice to “write to the tribe you’re starting to form”; and my mentor Ed Cook’s adage “you always preach the sermons you need to hear,” have both been proven true. All of the links embeded in this story were written by myself, or by Magpie Girl guests,  because I needed to hear them, and so did my tribe. Now I can see them as the work The Muse and The Universe were doing to get us where we need to be — that is,  together.

So thanks you so much, dear Magpie Girl reader, for being a part of this process. Your comments and visits have encouraged me more than I can say. I cannot wait until we are all gathered together in our Flock! Thanks for being here.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

One of the more challenging parts of living a creative life is discovering your best working rhythm. We all have a work pattern that suits our energy levels and nurtures us with alternating periods of work and rest, gathering and creating.

I have spent plenty of time trying to force myself into a “productive” work routine that ended up being anything butproductive, simply because it didn’t match my natural habits. Like lifecoach Jena Strong always says, ”It’s all about function.”  That’s why this week’s  *8Things is all about uncovering your creative patterns. The rhythm is already there, you just have to pull off the blanket and see what is there waiting for you.

How do you like to work? When do you like to start, how long it takes for you to get into the flow, do you like to work in silence or with music? Your intuitive voice will help access the information you need to uncover a work rhythm that supports your creative pursuits. Write down *8Things you know about Your Creative Rhythm and put them in the comments below or grab a button and play along by putting a permalink to your post in the list below.

Special thanks to this week to Sarah and at Creative Lessons who gave me the idea for this *8Things list; to Jen Lee for her excellent “Making Soup” metaphor about the ebb and flow of the creating process; and to Dee Wilcox at the Creative Perch for sharing this *8Things list with a wider audience. Thanks for being here!

Rachelle’s *8Things: Creative Rhythm

1. Embrace Your BioRhythm: There is no point in me trying to write before noon. I do administrative work in the morning in my PJ’s, shower after lunch, the get to writing.
2. Manage Your Downloads:  Just because I have a huge download of creative ideas doesn’t mean I have to do them all at once. I can suppress the hyper-mania if I remember they’ll keep.
3. Know Your Tender Spots:After announcing a project or sending it out to the world I’m virtually guaranteed to have a bout of self-doubt and insecurity. I enlist help.
4. Trouble Shoot Your Wheel of Work Weak Spots:  I like generating ideas and starting things. I’ m not so good with the middle and the finish. During that part of the a project I have to write out an hour by hour daily schedule to get it DONE.
5. Don’t Isolate:  I live abroad and work at home — so seeing another adult IN REAL LIFE at least once a week is imperative!
6. Know What You Need:  It’s true, I’m a feedback whore. I like immediate reaction to what I’m working on. Thus, I blog.
7. What’s Your Addiction of Choice?: Facebook and Twitter I can manage, YouTube and Hulu suck me in like a black hole
8. Your Nutrional Needs. Must. Have. Input. Artists dates are a must. I try to go to a gallery, garden, or performance once a month.

If  you’ve been hanging out for even a little bit here at Magpie Girl, you know how much I adore my life coach, Jena Strong of Strong Coaching. (website : blog) She’s the perfect combination of compassionate gentleness and no nonsense direction.

Today Jena is here to help with something so many of us in the creative realm struggle with: the imposter syndrome. Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Do you think everyone else knows what they are doing while you are splashing around in the deep end? Then this my friend is for you. Jena, take it away….

The Imposter Sydrome: Diagnosis and Treatment
by Jena Strong

Let’s get the bad news over with first. The Imposter Syndrome is rampant. President Obama should declare a national emergency. Free vaccine clinics should be set up. Thousands, millions perhaps, of talented, creative, wise, and caring individuals suffer from this debilitating, delusional condition.

Now for the good news. There are only a few symptoms and they are really all facets of the same thing: A mistaken belief that you are not good enough. And best of all, the Imposter Syndrome is highly responsive to treatment. Continue reading to learn more, and if you believe you are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, please! Seek help immediately.

GENERAL SYMPTOMS

A nagging voice in your head saying things like, “You call yourself a real _______?” Blank may be filled in with profession or vocation of your choice: Writer, Artist, Life Coach, Teacher, Business Owner, Mom, etc.

Habit of comparing yourself to Other People on a regular basis, wherein you usually come up short.

Certainty that said Other People have It All Figured Out, i.e. they are more confident, competent, and eminently more qualified than you to do whatever it is that you do. And by the way, they most definitely do notsuffer from the Imposter Syndrome themselves.

Underlying anxiety that it is only a matter of time before somebody realizes you are a fraud – and calls you on it, most likely in a humiliating, public manner.

TREATMENT

Remember that other People are not paying that much attention to you.They are much more self-absorbed than that. In fact, there is a significant chance that they themselves are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, in which case they are most likely thinking how much more confident, competent, talented, creative, accomplished, and qualified YOU are than they are.

Trust the fear. I know this seems contradictory, but here’s what I mean: The more persistent that nagging voice is that’s calling you a con-artist, the more likely it is that you are actually doing exactly what you are meant to be doing. Know that the voice will get louder before it dies down, especially if you start ignoring it, but it will, in time, begin to give up the fight and let you do your work in this world fully and without doubt, second-guessing, and insecurity. Marianne Williamson said it most famously: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world.”

Get to know your gremlin. I cannot recommend this enough. The book Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson is playful and highly useful for this; it’s the only book I ask my coaching clients to read. The fact is, the Imposter Syndrome is the gremlin’s distorted way of trying to protect you from failure. The clearer you get about what you’re really up to, the more impotent your gremlin will begin to feel. Consider writing your gremlin a letter telling him or her why you are bored with the Imposter Syndrome and how it is you plan to move forward.

Make a conscious choice about where to place your attention. Having a working relationship with your Gremlin will come in very handy here. You can start talking to him or her, e.g. “Gremlin (or Shirley or Drill Sergeant or whatever your gremlin’s name may be), I appreciate what you’re up to here, but I’m actually much more interested in _______ (making my art, writing my book, teaching my class, building my business, nurturing my relationships, changing the world) than in your relentless attempts to make me feel small and incompetent. Now go have a cup of tea and I’ll check in with you later.”

Do It Anyway. My father’s best advice to me, on my wedding day, was “Start. Keep Going.” Action is the greatest form of reclaiming your power from the falsity of the Imposter Syndrome. Sure, your gremlin will keep trying to win you back, but the more you move forward, noticing her but not letting her run the show, the more discouraged she will become. (Pretty soon, your gremlin may herself wind up with a case of the Imposter Syndrome. “I’m a total fraud! Who am I to call myself a gremlin?” she may cry. And we will all shed big alligator tears for her.)

Be Honest. Share. Connect. Tell Your Story. Things fester in the dark. Silence, hiding, shame, embarrassment – all of these keep us from shining, from sharing our light and our experience and our wisdom and our gifts with each other. What a loss. Amazing things happen when you choose to speak the truth: it gives the people around you permission to do the same, and everything begins to change.

Find a Buddy. We do this work alone, but we don’t do this work alone. Having a witness, a fellow gremlin-warrior, someone who knows what we’re up to, someone to help hold us accountable, someone to help us get back up when we fall, makes all the difference and helps guarantee our success. Or you might consider working with a life coach.

Celebrate. As you move through this process, bring your awareness to the times when you forget to feel like an imposter. Write them down in a special journal. Take yourself on a date or do something kind for someone who is feeling unsteady. Most importantly, be good to yourself – and spread the love.

For more Jena Strong goodness you can find her in at least a half-dozen places here at Magpie Girl, or WAY better yet, find her at Strong Coaching where she takes local and long-distant clients under her coaching wing.

These are emerging thoughts and I share them with not an un-small amount of trepidation. But they won’t leave me alone, these wonderings, and I need all the contributors to The Giant Pool of Wisdom to help me out.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately — off and on for years really — about this odd and wonderful bubble we live in. On good-humor days I think of it as something like “the women’s creative empowerment community.” I like it, this loose group of wonderful women who are finding their voice, expressing their creativity, and rebuilding their spirituality in the studio instead of the sanctuary. (Or as I like to think of it, the studio has become the sanctuary.) I love working in this milieu. I know, that I know, that I know these are my people. And nothing gives me more joy than teaching and learning in this world.

On cynical-humor days I think of myself as “the middle-class middle-aged white woman doing crafts.” Do you know what I mean? Kind of cushy, and whiney, and little bit frivolous. It makes me think of all those Jane Austen novels. How all the female characters embroidered, or did crewel work, or played the harpsichord. “The womanly arts,” they were called.  It was what women did when they weren’t allowed to do anything else. Correction, it was what privileged women did when then didn’t have to do anything else (and also, they weren’t allowed. A combination then.)  On cynical days I substitute “embroidery, crewel work, and harpsichord” with “mixed media collage, photography, and guitar lessons” and I feel a little–well, frivolous.

Then I get my feminist dander up and I remember that women’s work has always been downgraded. The most amazing intricate needle and tapestry work would be referred to as “craft” while oil paintings done in the all-male studios of yore were classified as “art.” Even now, women are severely under-represented in galleries and museums, as the film Who Does She Think She Is so passionately demonstrates. This distinction is still there — it’s changing, true — but it’s still there. And it bothers me.

But in addition to this feminist outrage, more than the slight discomfort I feel around my so-called cushy life, I am deeply bothered by the imbalance that I feel between two worlds I admire and desire: The introspective and necessary world of self-fulfillment and self-expression. And the equally necessary world of charity and social justice. I feel…unsatisfied…with the extent to which these two worlds intertwine. And I see other creative women trying to find a way to tie the two together as well. There are ripples out there, and rumors of another way. We are exploring. We are finding the connection.

It’s already so hard to make a living, to make your art, to raise your kids, to tell your story, and to be in a relationship. How can we possibly do any more?  (Throw in all these mysterious “women’s diseases” like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and migraines and it gets even harder.) And yet, and yet….

I guess it’s that I feel, YES, your story is important. Yes, you, white girl with the two kids and the minivan. You story, your creative dreams are essential to the universe. But so are our African sisters’, so are our Latina sisters’, so is every sisters’. And how do they find the strength to tell their stories, after a day of trying to make ends meet. How do we help? How do we partner?  How do we teach and learn from each other?

I keep thinking about Fredrick Beuchner’s famous quote about vocation from Wishful Thinking:

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Where is that place for me? For you? For the creative community of us — we, the ladies who art. Where is the seam that weaves together our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger?

In the excellent but now defunct television series Joan of Arcadia, God tells Joan that she has suffered from “a crisis of imagination.”  I think that might be it. In spite of all our creativity, I think we are suffering from a crisis of imagination. I think there is more.

Recently, I’ve been listening to Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, a freaking brilliant adaptation of the Jane Austen novel in which the characters do not practice “The Womanly Arts,” but rather are trained in “The Deadly Arts.” The art of combat. The art of defense. These are not little women. These are Warrior Girls. How can we be warrior girls for our sisters? How can champion their right to be in this world?

Really I have very little idea. But I know it’s always a good plan to take a step. It might not be the step that works out, but it will lead you to the next, and the next, until you find the path. So my step, right now, is to put both feet quite firmly on one particular stepping stone. I will announce that I have fallen in love with the Apparent Project, a program run by people I know and adore in Haiti. Through the Apparent Project, Shelley and Corrigan Clay, who are artists,  feed street kids, house kids who were forced to be left behind due to poverty, adopt orphans into their own family, and help women learn skills to support their families. I am head-over-heels with this small, grassroots program— in much the same way that I am in love with art. But I can you imagine me, the migraineur, in Haiti? No. Help. At. All.

So I will do what little I can. I will give ten percent of whatever profit I make this year – from my upcoming EBooks and Ecourses and whatever else might come my way—I will give ten percent of that profit to Haiti. And, whenever I can think of a way to encourage others to chip-in, through the A Year Without Clothes Pledge, or any other thing that crosses my path, I will do so. I will not have a crisis of imagination. I will learn to connect the dots.

It won’t be much. But perhaps this is the practice that will open the door, the rehearsal that will shine light on the solution to this hunger in my life. To be a mother, and an artist…and a warrior girl for others.

 Do you think we can find the way? Let’s jump.

Click here to contribute to the chip-in for the Apparent Project, or tell us your ideas in the comments below. Thank you for being here!

So here it is my sweet Magpie Girl friends, all raw and in the mess.

I’m working hard right now. I’m finally well enough that I can work. My iron levels are no longer at a near-critical state, and my energy has dramatically improved. Now I can actually stay awake all day. I don’t have to go up the stairs to my studio on my hands and knees (literally), and the migraine pain doesn’t lay me up nearly as often. It feels good, just to be able to work this hard.

Coming Now(ish): Magpie Girl Guidebooks!
I’ve got two small PDF books on the cusp of being done. They are in that endless editing process where all the little details need to be decided upon on in the design, and all the typos need to be fixed in the text. The main book is a slim volume called SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul. It goes to the editor this weekend, and will be for sale the first or second week of November.

The supplemental book is SoulFood: How to cook for a tribe. It just went to the designer today, and I hope to have it available for you as a free download by the end of the month. (I wanted both of them up for my 40th, but I’m letting go of self-imposed deadlines and trying not to be a drama queen about it.) These two books are part of a new series of  Magpie Girl Guides.  (There are 4 more planned.) I could not be more thrilled that the first two are a collaborative effort with my Soulsisters! I’m just so damned proud and grateful I can hardly stop beaming over it.

Up Next: Your Soultribe!
On the heels of these book projects is my newest brainchild – on-line Soultribes! I’ll be offering two Soultribes beginning in January:

• Soulcraft Circle will be focused on doing a monthly art-based spiritual practice together.
• Magpie Girl’s High Holy Days will be about celebrating seasonal rites and rituals based on my own kooky Magpie Girl mix of traditions.

Both Soultribes will feature a private website where you’ll receive monthly assignments from moi, plus a place to share your experiences with others. Artful soulcare with a tribe! What could be better?

Won’t it be a great to start the New Year with a tribe around you? I’m “pinch me” excited!

The Way It Makes me Feel
In the midst of all this creating I’m vacillating wildly between opposing emotions. One minute I’m thinking, “Squee! I have so many lovely pals!”; and the next I’m desperately lonely. Monday I may be happy to spread around the goodness regarding all my virtual collegues’ courses, books, and other offerings. Tuesday I may be dying of jealousy. The first hour of the workday I may feel secure that I’m following my passion. By lunch I’m Mrs. McDoubtyPants. I haven’t felt like this since I was expecting the girls. It feels like pregnancy.

Even as I type that I know it’s right. It is like pregnancy — all hormones and mood swings and cravings–because something good is about to get born. And I have all of you with me in the birthing room. What a lucky girl I am! (Oh, I am so holding on to that with both hands for when the labor gets tough.)

So there you have it…if you write down the mess, you come to clarity. Without you dear readers, I never would have gotten there. (Thank you for listening to me spout.) I’m in the transition stage of labor now, and I may grab you by the neck and scream, “You! YOU did this to me!” (and then demand jewlery.)  But eventually we’ll hear that first tiny cry of new life and we’ll all just sit around glowing at what we helped get born. Thanks for holding this space for me. You are my very favorite midwives.

See you on the other side!

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

One of today’s posts is by Jennifer McGuiggan of The Word Cellar. Jennifer is a professional freelance writer and editor. As such, she knows a thing or two about creative cycles. She’s talked me out of more than one slump, launching me past my sticking points and on to project completion. Today she shares with Magpie Girl readers “The Wheel of Work” concept. Join Jennifer as she shows us how to propel ourselves past our natural sticking points by playing to our strengths — and enlisting help for the rest.

Overcoming Your Natural Sticking Points (Innovator’s Edition)
By Jennifer McGuiggan

I can’t figure out how to start this blog post, which is absolutely perfect. Perfect because I’m trying to write about overcoming your natural sticking point in a project. And mine just happens to be this exact point: the point between brainstorming/mapping out the idea and refining/finalizing the project. I get stuck at the beginning of production and creation.

I used to wonder why “everyone else” has such great ideas and gets so much done. My husband, ever my cheerleader, pointed out that I do have a lot of potentially great ideas, all floating around in my head or stashed away in notebooks. He regularly reminds me that I do manage to get stuff done, even big things like starting a freelance writing and editing business; researching/applying to/enrolling in graduate school; and navigating the treacherous waters of real estate and mortgages to buy our first house.

So what’s the problem, I wondered. Why do I sometimes get so stuck that I jump ship and leave my ideas to languish on the deck?

Then a friend shared the concept of the Wheel of Work with me and the pieces fell into place. The wheel tracks the eight phases of a project and can help us to see where we thrive and where we need support. (Note: I don’t know the original source of the Wheel of Work. If you do, please tell us in the comments.)

The Wheel of Work

I’m naturally skilled in the conceptual half, particularly Advising, Innovating, and Developing. This means I’m good at brainstorming and connecting ideas, thinking about things in new and unexpected ways, researching, and collecting resources. But when it’s time to Organize and Produce, I seize up. All those possible directions and a desire to “do it right” can stymie my attempts at creating. I dream things up, but then I have trouble Organizing my thoughts and moving into Production.

If you look at the wheel, you’ll see that Organize and Produce are opposite of Advise and Innovate. This is usually the case: The pieces of the wheel furthest away from our natural strengths are the pieces we find to be most difficult.

If you get stuck at the point of creation, here are four tips on getting from idea generation to post-production.

1. Collect your project ideas in one place. I struggle with this and tend to have scraps of paper and journal pages littered with ideas. But I do my best to put them all in one notebook that’s segmented for different idea types, like essay and article ideas, resources to consult, and possible collaborative projects. This way, I know where everything is and can keep track of my brain jumble.

2. Consider the path of least resistance. Natural-born innovators often end up with long lists of potential projects and no sense of direction. When you have too many projects to choose from, or even too many possible directions within a single project idea, you can end up quitting before you start because you feel overwhelmed. If you can’t figure out what project to focus on, prioritize your list of ideas. The criteria you use for prioritizing is up to you. Maybe you want to pick the project that you think has the most money-making potential. Maybe one project seems ripe for the picking because your audience is hungry for it.

When in doubt, I say go for the one that most appeals to you. We tend to think that anything “good” has to be “hard,” but I say do what works and feels good. Don’t think of it as the easy way out. Rather, think of it was the easy way through. The same thing applies to choosing a direction within one particular project. For example, I just kept on writing this post, going in the direction that seemed easiest as I went along. As I got further down the path, I could more clearly see what needed to come next and where I needed to go back and revamp things.

3. Stop assuming and get the facts.One of the ways that we sabotage ourselves is by making assumptions. We assume that we can’t afford a graphic designer, so why bother to start writing that ebook? We assume we won’t find a vacant room at the bed and breakfast we love, so why bother to plan that getaway? We assume we’ll run out of ideas halfway through the article, so why bother to create an outline? Stop it with the what-ifs! Don’t let a lack of information dictate your progress. Worrying about what may-or-may-not-be just keeps you stuck. Get the facts you need to figure out the next steps. And remember that not every step of a project is contingent upon another step. Figure out what you can do concurrently, like writing the ebook content while waiting to hear back from designers. If you stay committed to the project, you’ll find a way to make it work.

4. Enlist help. Chances are you have friends and colleagues who are naturally skilled in other parts of the Wheel of Work. When you’re stuck on how to begin or what to do next, ask for input from someone you trust. Even someone with the same sticking points as you may be able to help. For example, although I struggle to see my way forward at the beginning of my projects, I do it with ease and confidence when working with my clients. We tend to create drama and fear around our natural sticking points when it comes to our own projects because we’re emotionally attached to them. An outsider doesn’t have the same baggage and can point the way forward.

This is how I get past my natural sticking points. What are your sticking points along the Wheel of Work and how do you overcome them? Add to the Giant Pool of Wisdom by leaving your suggestions in the comments.

Jennifer McGuiggan is a professional writing, editing, and consulting services to businesses, organizations, and individuals. Read about her services at The Word Cellar and browse through her portfolio to learn more.

You write all the way to the fence,
then there’s nothing
left to do but tear it down and
expand the border. To stretch
your life by trading Safe and Secure.
To stare the beast, It’s Not Enough, in the
face and let it off its leash….

-from You Write to the Fence, by Jen Lee

This week’s Magpie Girl favorite is a lovely palm-sized book  by Jen Lee, she of the soul-felt stories.

Fortunes is a beautiful collection of etheral toy camera images and prose-like poems chronicling the liminal space that is our 30′s and 40′s. When I cracked it open it was like finding an instant companion for all my issues. Finding your art; dealing with mothers and daughters; tapping into a midlife sexual revolution —- it’s all in here in pitch-perfected prose. It is a rare writer who creates work which is both rich with image and yet spare and accessible. Jen Lee achieves it here with aplomb. There’s not a superfelous word on the plate,  and still such a rich meal!

You can purchase Fortunes  here, either alone or as a duo (one for you, one for a friend.) If you are making the handmade pledge this season, Fortunes would be a lovely envelope-sized gift to slip in with the holiday card you’re sending to an artful friend. And if you are a writer, or think maybe perhaps you sort-of-want-to-be, then take a look at Jen’s new journal for writers, Take me with You.

May these small treasures bring big joy and beauty to your world today. 
Magpie Girl’s Promise: I adore my readers, so I only review productsI truly believe in. I never review a product — even one I’ve received for free — unless I truly love it. My complimentary copy of Fortunes perfectly fits the bill. Click the link to find  all my Favorite Things, and maybe one of yours! Thank you for being here.

Meet Lisa Alexander, soulsister and collborative divorce and conflict resolution specialist. Lisa is full of practical, straight-forward advice that is rooted in true soulfulness, which a rock solid combination. At our Soulsisters retreat she set me straight on pricing, and I’ve been carrying her in back pocket for reinforcement ever since. Now you get to tap into her financial smarts in this guest post on honouring your work through values-based pricing.

Value Based Pricing with Lisa Alexander

Being your own boss is one of the best things in the world, in my humble opinion.  You’ve got the freedom to choose when you’ll work and what sort of work you’ll do.  Yeah, it’s no fun to pilfer from the stationary supply cupboard when you’re the one who has to stock and pay for the supplies, but that’s a small price to pay for the joy that comes with being your own boss.

If you’re selling widgets, it’s relatively easy to figure out what to charge.  You look at what other widget sellers are charging, you sharpen your pencil and figure out what the cost of widget production is and you can relatively easily come to a bottom line.

But what do you do when your commodity is your time?  Some of us sell the work of our hands — paintings, material crafts, our words — and we carefully note the cost of our materials, but then have to figure out what value we’ve added by transforming those basic materials.   Others of us sell our ideas, skills and wisdom.  It’s even harder to figure out what to charge when your product is intangible — it’s your words, your way of listening, the specialized knowledge you have carefully learned, your way of leading someone into an encounter with themselves in this new reality you’ve helped them create.  How on earth do you put a value on that?

I’ve done a lot of thinking about how to charge for my time, as I’ve been a lawyer for ten years now, and self-employed for almost seven of those years.   When I started off, the firm I worked with set my hourly rate, so I didn’t have to grapple with setting an initial threshold charge.  Thank goodness for that, as up until that time, I’d never earned more than about $15 per hour, and that was for an incredibly fancy dishwashing job at a unionized hospital.  The idea of asking someone to pay me in the triple digit numbers was incredibly scary; I figured that if I was going to ask for money, I’d better damn well be able to deliver, plus do cartwheels, wash their car and prove that I could walk on the moon.  

It is the rare person amongst us that is confident that she or he is worth every penny of what they are charging.  The rest of us usually grapple with impostor syndrome at some point in our money earning lives.  Almost every woman I’ve ever talked to has experienced this phenomenon.   Impostor syndrome can be paralyzing to those of us charging for an intangible service. 

As much as I’d love to wave my magic wand and give clarity to each of you who is struggling to figure out how to charge what you’re worth for the service or goods that you’re providing, that’s not reality.  But perhaps you might find some clarity (and a big can of impostor-syndrome-be-gone) in the following hard learned lessons:

• Do your homework.  What are people of your experience, education and training charging for the same type of service/goods?  Make sure you are looking within your own community, as rates fluctuate from community to community.
• Set your rates/price on the lower end of the scale, when you are starting out.  You’ll be working out all sorts of kinks and feeling under pressure to perform for top dollar will hold you back from taking the sort of risks you need to take when you’re starting out.
• Don’t stay at the low end of the scale.  Within at least one year, bump up your rates/price.  Do this even if no one has purchased a single thing from you.  (Be honest – if no one has purchased from you and if, after a scathingly honest critique of why not you find the reason is you’ve over priced yourself, you’ll know this tip is not for you).
• Bump your rates up at regular intervals, provided that your industry is one in which there is a range of rates, and after you’ve been established two years.,
• Remind yourself that it normally takes three to six months to be comfortable with your new price.  Say it out loud.  Write it down.  When people ask the cost, tell it to them straight with no apologies.  No apologies, I said.  None.  Not even a squeak of an apology.  And definitely no excuses.
• Honour the work you do.  If you don’t honour it, no one else will either.
• Fake it until you make it.  This tip got me through the first part of my career and was invaluable when I became my own boss.  I was concerned that everyone but me knew what was going on.  It turns out that they didn’t always know what was going on.   They’re all faking it until they make it too.  And one day, you’ll find out you’re making it, not faking it.
• Think big and believe in yourself.  That is something my dad always told us growing up and it’s deep in my bones now.
• Don’t back away from your asking price.  You are worth it.  You do know what you’re talking about.  You’ve worked hard to get to this place.
• Make value-based deals. Don’t make deals unless what you’re getting in return is equal to the value of what you’re offering.
• Plan ahead. Always save the right amount to pay your taxes and for a rainy day.

Lisa Alexander is a collaborative lawyer and mediator practicing in Vancouver, British Columbia. You can say ‘thank you’ for her guest post at Magpie Girl today in the comments below. And don’t forget to give us your tips and thoughts about charging for your work by adding them to the Giant Pool of Wisdom, now forming. Thanks for being here!

Thankfully I’ve stumbled upon Art + Money: Thriving as an artist without selling out by Chris Guillebeau and Zoë Westhof. This manual, plus the accompanying artist interviews, gives practical tips and guidelines for getting your work out there, connecting to you audience, and telling your story.

Art + Money is offered at two levels. The $39  Starving Artist version includes the 55 page guide, 3 artists interviews on mp3, and free updates for 6 months. The Picasso version is $58 and includes 3 additional artists interviews. (I’ve not reviewed this part of the product.)  Chris is also an incredibly accessible person who actively supports his product and his community.

I know there’s a lot of stuff out there promising to help you sell, sell, sell — and most of it relies on becoming a superstar on Technorati or having the biggest blog readership on the block. Art + Money does not take that approach. Rather it helps you connect your work, your story, and your people into a comprehensive whole that will help you earn either a supplemental income or a living wage — depending on how much time you want to put into it.

While it’s geared primarily for visual artists, it’s also great for writers. Just replace artists/galleries with writers/publishing as you read. And wherever it stays “studio” think “bookstore.” A lot of the links and suggested sites are specifically for selling visual art, but as a writer you’ll still find about 70% of the content applicable. 

Art + Money helped me redefining marketing as “sharing your story with your people” – which I already do and love! It’s also confirming my hunch that time on Twitter and Facebook promoting my work—and promoting the work of others in my community—is time well spent. In concrete terms, Art + Money:

• helps me figure out pricing.
• encourages me to keep on with my choice to not pursue traditional publishing.
• shows me how to fine tune my social networking methods.
• teaches me to launch my upcoming products and courses.

I would say the book is especially helpful if you are not yet blogging or using social networking, or if you have not figured out how to focus your blogging and networking in a way that supports your creative work. And if you are they type of person who is inspired by the stories of working artists, the interviews will be a big boon to you as well.

I hope Art + Money scratches where it itches and helps you bring your creative dreams closer to reality. 

Magpie Girl’s Promise: I adore my readers, so I only review products I truly believe in. In this case, I purchased the product at full price and decided to become an affiliate ambassador for Art + Money. If you purchase this book through the links on my site you’ll not only get a great product, you’ll also support my work. Thanks for being here!

my September dreamboard, made on a page from an illustrated journal i began three years ago, before i learned that I’d laid out 27 pages wrong and the project couldn’t be saved. (now, redeemed.)

This has been a hard week. A hard an horrible week. But today the tides began to their turning. The pained backed down. I could work again, write again. Hope started thinking about coming home to roost.

Often I loose track of where the moon is in her cycle. But this week I’ve been aware of her lurking outside my window, lighting up my insomniatic night, keeping me company on the sidelines. I knew tonight she would be at her roundest, her ripest. And I just could not resist the siren call of her light on my work table. She winked so cunningly  through my window, that mistress moon.

One year ago I made my first dreamboard. I dreamt all year of a stage for my stories, health for my body, a community for my heart. I dreamt of books and of strength enough to write them. I dreamt of the loved ones, and tribes. I dreamt of stillness and of floating. Some of those dreams came true. Many, most, did not.

There is no stage, no book, no local community. My loved ones are far from me (but gratefully, well.)  There is no health. Above all there is no health. Still, hope springs eternal I suppose—in that small way that it must, when you children lie safe and asleep under your roof, when the moon waits for you beyond your window.

So, still, I dream. Under the moon I dream. And as I dream I till the soil. I turn the earth. I make ready the ground. Because one day, some day,  perhaps the the gods of harvest will smile down upon me, and these dreams will finally get themselves born.

This crop may at long last come to fruition.

Today at Magpie Girl, Jamie speaks with us about the way creative souls recieve feedback, and how to honor our emotions while learning from the curve ball that criticism and critque can sometimes throw at us.  Do you have a teen or tween? Pass this on to them as well. It’s a life skill I wish I had acquired at 13 instead of 30! Jamie, take it away….

_______________________________________

Recently I asked people why it’s so important to us that people like our artwork. In my own life, I’m noticing how that’s also true for me about anything that I’ve really put my heart into. When I offer a workshop, I’m hoping with all my heart that people are going to love it, that they’ll feel inspired and hopeful and glad they took part.

There’s something wonderful about this. It inspires me to offer my best work and to learn and grow all the time. It comes from a place of deep commitment to the participants and a sincere desire to make a difference in their lives. It reminds me that creating a workshop or a newsletter or a meal or an event is a creative act, one that you pour your soul into.

And what happens if despite all of that, people don’t like it?

Here’s how I’ve learned to handle negative feedback. I hope it bolsters your tender heart the way it has bolstered mine:

1. Let yourself feel what you feel. If I’m hurt, disappointed, angry, defiant or whatever else, I get to experience that like a storm until it settles. I don’t have to pretend it’s not there, judge it, rise above it. I just get to feel what I feel.

2. Look for learning. Once the storm starts to quiet, I see if there’s anything I’d like to respond to. I’m not adjusting the work for one particular person. If I move away from the core of my vision to accommodate someone else, it starts to feel wobbly and I start to feel insecure. That lets me know that I’m moving in the wrong direction. But if I use the information to see if I can bring my creation closer to what I dream of for it, then I can use it to improve the work. There’s joy and confidence in there. The difference is palpable.

3. Let go of what’s not useful. If someone just didn’t like what I’ve created or offered or shared, but it’s something that I believe in or love or is true to me, I remind myself that not everyone is going to love what I do, and that’s fine. What I’ve learned from the information is that my gift is not for this person. I can let the rest go. 

4. Trust. I remind myself that my people are out there, people who will appreciate my unique gifts and offerings. One of the truly important things about blogging is it allows us to extend our reach in finding our people, so that when we share what is uniquely and authentically our gift, we have more of an around-the-world opportunity for someone to read it and get it.

Molly Gordon talks about how in business we have a niche and we have an offer. I think this is true in life generally. Our offer is what we sincerely, authentically bring to this world. It’s who we are and what we share. And our niche is that place, that ecosystem according to Molly, in which that offer is easily and recognizably of value. There’s nothing to be taken personally about being a rainforest plant who doesn’t fit into the desert. Just keep looking for home and reaching out to your people.

Jamie Ridler MA CPCC is a creative self-development coach and director of Jamie Ridler Studios. She helps creative, independent spirits align their lives with their hearts and pursue their dreams with joy, courage and authenticity. She leads Circe’s Circle, a coaching telecircle for Creative Bloggers designed to help you start building your creative dreams. A new session stars September 15th. For updates and inspiration, you’ll find her on Twitter.

Hello Loves,

You are probably wondering where *8Things and The DO LESS Revolution are this week. The answer is “late,” that’s all just late.

You see my dear hubby is in the States which means I am single parenting, with migraines, in what can only be described as B.Y.O.A. rainfall (Bring Your Own Ark)—which of course, I must navigate on foot-or-bike because somewhere along the line somebody got the bright idea to move to Europe and live car-free. (Oh yeah that somebody would be me. Well, at least I have very VERY cute rainboots.)

So taking a page from my own DO LESS advice book, I’m narrowing my tasks for the week down to basic survival skills which include: feeding the children, clothing the children, and trying to keep myself from being bludgeoned to death by the children’s all-drama-all-the-time emotional states. (I wanted girls, right?) So *8Things and DO LESS are coming,  just not until the weekend. And when they do could y’all please leave me lots of comments because I’m kinda in THAT kind of headspace right now—oh yeah, the needies.

Before I go, I would like to introduce you to Tiffani Electra X, owner of the charming TartX and maker of art. I want to give Tiffani big props for introducing me to the concept of BWO, Blogging Without Obligation, in which we people who work-for-free cease to beat ourselves up when we don’t show up to the virtual page for a day or two. Tiffani’s theory is that if you don’t beat yourself up about when you blog (or don’t, as the case may be) you’ll blog longer, write better, and give the world more love.

Amen, sisterfriend.

Tiffani’s art at Tartx is fantastically off the beaten path and a good fit for anyone who regularly flings themselves down the rabbit hole. It’s romantic and goth at the same time—a little bit like an Alice in Wonderland tea party, if maybe you like your tea with the tiniest smidge of arsenic. I highly recommend you take a little foray over to her place while you wait around for me to come back from the Mad Hatters. (Do you think I could woo her over here? That would be lovely! I DO so love a good crush!)

Much love to you all.

Magpie Girl

Thankfully I get these little moments of relief where I can dash off a microblog or make notes for a longer piece or writing, or you know, take a shower or something dumb like that.

This is making me nuts because my deamon is downloading writing ideas to me on an every-five-minute basis. I am holding him by the tail and fretting a little. Leonie says, “Don’t worry Possum, they will be there when you need them. And I’m trying Leonie, I really am, just to trust in abundance and to not worry about lack.

In the meantime let me make a confession. I don’t really read blogs. Shocking, I know, and tragically unfair. I don’t really read much at all anymore because of my head, and the eye strain, and the ache. Which is completely awful because words are my absolutely favorite thing. I’m totally dependent on audible.com, which makes me worry that my intellect is slipping because it’s a bit of a dust-up trying to find audio books of quality. So far I’ve dredged up a few good ones and my brain feels pretty well fed. (Phew!) And thankfully some of you podcast and some of you vlog, and there’s always dear old TED and TAL to keep my brain engaged.

But my point is, if you blog, and you know I’ll love you (or that I already do) you really must Twitter or Facebook for me. If you tweet your new posts, or get them up on FB, I will read you. I have the most organized TweetDeck and FB lists in the world, and I follow my readers, soulsisters, and family(ish) folks faithfully. Your’s will be the blogs I manage to gaze at, and retweet, and love-link to. And that’s good for the giant pool of wisdom, right? So good for us all.

So please follow me, and I’ll follow you and together we’ll make it thru this crazy little journey called life.

All my Magpie love,

Rachelle

Now in love with these new-to-me writers thanks to Twitter!

Pen at The Penny Has Dropped (so pretty, so wise)
Emma Bradshaw (because i do love the eccentric britts)
Susannah at Ink on My Fingers (for bravery and beauty)
Megg at More to Me (we live in the same time zone, woot!)

I may not be a rock star, but Eden recently took my portrait…

So I went to a photography exhibit yesterday, with my dear friend Michelle, who is always willing to go on artist dates with me in all corners of Copenhagen or in the any-where-remotely-near vicinity. It was an exhibit of rock-star portraits by Danish photographer Søren Solkær Starbridge, and while I am neither an afficianado of rock stars or photography, I enjoyed it very much. (Mabel, Michelle’s 15 year old daughter will attest to just how low I have of a rock star IQ. This is how it went with her: “What?! You don’t know Arctic Monkeys? Come, on? Arctic. Monkeys. No? How about that guy, you know that guy right? The lead singer of Dirty Pretty Things…? Geez!)

While we were at the exhibit we watched an interview with the artist for few minutes (it was in Danish and I quickly got lost), and we bumped into him while he wandered the joint telling the curator which signage needed to be fixed before the closing reception this weekend. Watching him move, and breathe and have his being caused me to think of something I’ve observed of late amongst my arty world.

In the blogosphere there are a lot of women artists and writers my age. These are people who have turned-or re-turned-to the world of art they had previously set aside.  This return is often out of a desire to keep their sanity in-tact through the infancy and preschool eras;  or because they have finally gotten old enough to ignore their parents advice to “do something with your (practical) degree”;  or because they have found their footing in their third or fourth decade and are ready to start following their Muse before their souls atrophy into nothingness. These women-myself included-tend to have a way of speaking about their work in very apologetic terms. We say thing like: “I’m dabbling in photography,” or “I’m not really a writer, I just blog,” or “I’ve started painting, but I’m not that good.”

I hear this kind of thing over and over again, and then… sometimes… I see it change. Sometimes, one of these arty women friends will cross over some invisible boundary and step into their power. They start acknowledging their title and say things like: “I am a photographer,” or when someone asks them what they ‘do’, the say “I am a writer” with less hesitation – or maybe with none at all. And then eventually, they start speaking like a professional – the way Søren Solkær Starbridge talks, or Kara Walker, or Robert Wilson. They speak authoritatively about their art, their intent, and their methodologies. They explain how their work developed and where they think it will progress to next. They accept compliments graciously without downplaying their skill. And they receive critique with gratitude and detachment – because they’ve learned it’s not about their personhood but rather about their work, and it will make their work better.

I’m not sure where this boundary is located, or how one steps over it. I think that for me as a writer and as a minister, I drift back and forth across that border line in an sort of developmental dance. Still, I find more and more that I live on the confident side of that line. I think it’s important – very important-to learn how to get into that unapologetic place. It is a place where you do not hem and haw about what you are doing; where you do not downplay your skill or your talent; where you are both passionate and matter-of-fact; where you can say with authority “I am  a writer. I specialize in creative spirituality. I work on line.”  And I don’t think you can get there until you realize that the authority to name yourself lies within yourself. Sure, professional recognition is nice. It’s lovely to have the affirmation of colleagues, to have an official job title, to receive an appropriate wage, to win an award. But you know what? A lot of us are never going to see that in a cut-and-dried way. We live in a world on the fringe – a world of art and passion and verve. That world doesn’t have a lot of professional clubs. It doesn’t often offer a steady paycheck with the taxes taken out in neat little columns and vacation accruing on the sidebar. And even where it does, we’ll, we aren’t any of us going to get there by being apologetic about who we are compelled to be.

So let’s stop. Let’s stop hemming and hawing. Let’s stop doing a soft shoe around who we are and what we call ourselves. Let’s learn to take both critiques and compliments. Let’s put our name on the door.  Be who you are becoming. Start now.

What one sentence describes with authority what it is that you do? It’s okay, you can change it later as you change. But write one down now and try it on for size. We can’t wait to see what it is!

*8 Things Waiting to be Written.

1. Teaching teens to stand in their own power (without being an ass.)
2. Why I’m embracing my shadow self in my second adolescence (ie. 40). 
3. Why Jesus did not die for you sins, but for his politics…and..why violence is never atoning. 
4. How our doll house saved my sanity when my children were infants. 
5. “Everything You Can Think of Is True”: how Robert Wilson’s rabbit hole rescued me from winter. 
6. Turning to face loneliness and the power it holds.
7. Why I unabashedly love crime dramas and what they are speaking about American culture.
8. Feminism is dead, Long live Feminism. What we still need to teach our kids.

What things are waiting in your heart to be born?