Tag — Italy
Stepping out of the Struggle
the small lake at my local park, from my February dreamboard.
We recently passed the one year mark of life here in Copenhagen. Baring lay-offs, we have a mandatory two-year assignment. But given Paul’s ship cycle, and what he needs to do for and with his team, we’re looking down the barrel of being here at least three years. … Can you tell by my metaphor how I am feeling about this?
For a long time I thought I would get used to being in Denmark. I was eager to live abroad, and I knew from experience that I like learning and living in cultures that are not my own. Plus, my graduate school was very international, and I enjoyed that mixed-culture experience very much. So I’ve been surprised at my inability to adjust to life abroad.
For the past year I’ve been on the “accentuate the positive” bandwagon most days– listing all the things I like about living here and trying to embrace the bits that I enjoy. But the reality is, while I like living outside of the U.S., DK is not the best fit for me.
February in northern winters is by far the hardest month. So much so that at my Seattle college our advisors told the freshmen to “never change your boyfriend, your haircut, or your major in February.” Nonetheless, February is when it struck me that maybe I am not going to come to terms with it. Maybe this is never going to fit right, to become my community, to feel like home.
I was listening to a story on This American Life recently in which the narrator was describing a heated debate between two political opponents. He noticed that the only time the crowd seemed to be experiencing something as a joint experience was when photos of the war were put up on a screen. When that happened stillness filled the room. What he said about this still space was this:
“Forget all the arguments. Let’s just sit by this lake, and try to figure out its name.”
At first I didn’t understand why this phrase was capturing my heart. Then Jena pointed out that the whole story was using the language of struggle and that I have been living in midst of two great struggles: the struggle to live cross-culturally; and the struggle to live with chronic pain. For a long time I’ve thought that there were only two choices about how to respond to these struggles: “Stand and Fight,” or “Lay Down and Die.” But what if there is a third way? What if it involves sitting in the place where stillness pools. What if it involves turning around, looking into the face of loneliness, and saying, “Okay, so you’re here now. Have a seat.” What if it involves—not a frantic search for meaning—but just sitting on a park bench and waiting to see what happens. What if? What if?
I want to step out of the struggle. I want to stop trying to like it here. I want to stop trying to be brave about being in pain. I want to step out of the energy of the struggle, sit by the lake, and see if it will tell me its name.
Have Kids, Will Travel
Eden and Cate wish for a return to Rome at the Trevi Fountain. When we went back to visit it all lit up at night, gelato in hand, Eden said “I’ve never been this happy before in my life! To be at the Trevi Fountain! At Night! Eating Gelato!”
Delicious Baby’s Photo Friday this week was an ask for travel photos with kids. We’ve are traveling all over Europe with our two grade schoolers and the experience is fantastic. I couldn’t pick just one photo, so I gathered all the kid photos up in one Flickr file here. Most of the photos have a little story attached. Have a bon voyage with us!
Sacred Life Sunday
A still life shot by Eden, age 10 at the Boboli Gardens in Florence.
Remind me each day
That the race is not always to the swift;
That there is more to life than increasing its speed.
Let me look upward into the towering oak
And know that it grew great and strong
Because it grew slowly and wise.
-Owen L. Crain
Sacred Life Sunday: Stillness & Solitude
Walking the paths in the Monastery d’Olive in Tuscany. More here.
Sacred Spaces: To All the Gods
Rachelle’s back from another trek through Europe…it must be time to talk about sacred spaces involving stones, and pagan roots.
Of all the beautiful churches and temples in Rome, the Pantheon is my absolute favorite. The Pantheon was dedicated to all (pan) the gods (theos) in 27 B.C. and is the only building in Rome to be in continuous use as a place of worship since its inception. (This means it will be celebrating its 1,400 birthday next year.) Like most ancient sites in Italy, the Christian church has managed to remove most of the pagan influences, cannibalizing its copper ceiling and decking out its original spare interior with Renaissance and Baroque madness. Still, I adore the way ancient-to-modern beliefs are layered there, one on top the other, in a dizzying expression of post-modern spirituality. (What I wouldn’t give to plan an alt.worship service here. What do you say Maggi and Paul? Got any contacts?)
For my friends who worship at the altar of science, the dome itself is a mathematical wonder, spanning a distance as high as it is wide (142 feet). It’s the model for the Duomo in Florence, St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome, and the White House in Washington D.C. The last time I came to stand under its wonder, the temple was relatively empty, and I could gaze unobstructed at the Pantheon’s most famous pillar — the ray of light shining through the oculus of the dome and extending down to the 1,800 year old marble slabs on the floor. It was raining then and the water flowed through the opening, adding body and shimmer to the column of light. The feeling behind that light-and-water phenomenon was akin to seeing a total eclipse, or spotting Halley’s Comet on its rare path across our visible sky. Priceless.
This visit was different– the temple was busy with throngs of people enjoying the cooler climes of the soft edges of tourist season, and it was noisy with conversation. Still, Catie and I managed to find an empty bench and a relatively peaceful moment. She huddled next to me as we sang Taize chants and the Kyrie in Latin under our breaths. As soon as we finished our short repertoire a choir suddenly appeared in one corner, filling the space with Gregorian chant and showing off the stunning acoustics. Unlike the polite hush honored by visitors at Westminster, the crowd here remained buzzing and inattentive to the opportunity to enter into liminal, holy space. But Catie and I found it there, crouched on the corner of a new wooden pew, bathed in centuries of song, and a single beam of light.
Rome Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jigg
an olive branch from the top of Palatine hill in Rome
Hello loves! I had good intention of posting something for Sacred Life Sunday about the Pantheon, but a heavy head cold and an equally heavy heap of post-trip laundry got the better of me. (How do two smallish suitcases translate into 8 loads of laundry?!)
Instead, here are some pretty pics to hold you over until I can get back on the keyboard again–which may be a day or two seeing as it is “Potato Harvest” holiday here and the children have a random week off school. (Argh!) Now go pour a glass of something red and live la dolce far niente. Ciao!
Ciao Bellas!
Magpie Girl is off to Italy. I’ll be back with lots of stories in a few days. In the meantime, why not check out what Katy K and I’ve got goin’ on at Food Hero, or see my Monday morning posts (yes, even when I’m gone) over here.
Ciao!
Advice Girl: Making a Mondo Beyondo List
Time for Mondo Beyondo…Back to dreaming. Back to fertile ground. Back to reaching for hope.
UPDATE: Congratualtions to Tess Marshall of Anchors and Masts! She won the Mondo Beyondo drawing and will be recieving Begininngs, Tweet, and Reka Twige Kwifasha No Gufasha Abandi (Let’s Learn to How to Help Ourselves and Others) in the mail soon! Thanks to everyone here and on Twitter who played along!
Andrea told Jen, and Jen told me how to write Mondo Beyond Lists. These are the biggest of our big dreams — the real whoppers you can hardly admitt to. Making the list is a little like a prayer, sort of a request to the universe, and if you are very brave, the beginnings of an affirmation.
Since I’ve started the habit I’ve seen some things come to fruition (living abroad, getting out of the body image trap, making a life habit of yoga) and some of those hot desires have cooled down and gone away. (surfing, adopting, living in Italy)
There are new dreams in my being these days and I feel afraid for them, because they seem so fragile. So I decided to write them down today and make them a little more real — things always seem more concrete to me if they are on a page in word or in image. Usually I would want to make a list like this pretty — with watercolors and mixed media. But today all I had was a sharpie and some cardstock. And you know what? It was enough. So here is my Mondo Beyond List for now:
-Sing my lungs out in front of a big crowd, preferably with these folks.
-Transfer (in good time) to the UK, somewhere midsized like this.
-Get a paid, monthly column in a national magazine where I can feature pieces about seasonal rites and rituals.
-Publish three books: Tales from an Urban Abbess, Soulcrafting for Kids, and A Very Mild Narcissist (an image-based journal.)
-Have at least one good Muslim friend with whom I could really share my soul (and vice versa).
-Watch a sabbath community form organically where we could co-exsist with a few soulmates.
-Find a healthy way to practice the priesthood again.
-Travel to Africa with Jen, Mada, Odette, Grace, Lillian, Eden, and Cate to watch the women there step further into thier own power.
-Keep our ties strong with Souren; see him a couple of times a year long enough to reconnect.
-Be truly migraine-free. (Wow, it took all my breathe to whisper that one.)
-Stop fighting with time and be at peace with what I get done in any given day, month, year, season….
-Be on a first-name, call-any-time friendship basis with at least one artist I admire because they are learning to master his or her craft. Right now the short list would include Sabrina, John, Tim,Ira, or any voice from this show.
What is your Mondo Beyondo dreams? Make them real in the comments, give us your top choice on Twitter, or link to your blog below. One lucky Mondo Maker will get a copy of Jen’s new zine, one of the orginals, and just for fun, one of my zines from last year, Tweet. Contest will close on Monday morning. Go on now, dream big!
