“I think my most important job is to make space for people to be who they are and tell their own stories…My role is to cultivate relationship, cultivate curiosity, [and] create a sense of sacred space.”     -Kelly Bean,  Soultribe Cultivator

How do I love Kelly Bean? Let me count the ways! First, she’s a redhead (big points.) Second he has the totally adorable name. (more brownie points.) But most importantly, Kelly Bean is as gentle as she is wise, with more patience than anyone I know, and has a habit of waiting and listening until the solution arrives. (Unlike some redheads we know. Hi. Me.)

There’s nothing like learning from a pro, and at 20-plus years of nurturing the same Soultribe (it’s a record!) Kelly can really give us insight into how to keep something going through the ups, downs and seasons of life.

This is a long, but excellent interview and features a unique shared-leadership model called Leadership by Triad which I’ve never heard of anyone else using. Plus there’s loads of stuff in here for those of you who are in the process of a church break-up, or who are Leaving Church. And don’t miss the bit where she lays out some of the common pitfalls Soultribes trip into, and how to avoid them. I recommend you print this out and pop it in your bag. You’ll want to underline and highlight this winsome goodness, I promise.

Kelly generously gave us her time to write up this interview, so she could encourage and guide you. In the spirit of our on-going Sacred Commerce experiment, please let me know if you’d like to send Kelly a thank-you gift from your Etsy or other shop. (My email is moi at magpie-girl dot com.)

And now without further ado my Soulsister, Kelly Bean, and the Soultribe at Third Saturdays.

Background: Could you tell us what kind of Soultribe you belong to: What do you call it? How often do you meet? How long have you been together as a group? 

My soultribe is called Third Saturday.We are a community of people following in the way of Jesus. Our gatherings vary in size from 15-30 -which includes 6 kids ranging in ages 1 to 13. We meet twice a month for sure and sometimes more frequently.

I began to host this group over 22 years ago. I remember my daughter (who is now 23 years old) was just beginning to crawl when we first started. I can still see her playing in the center of the circle of friends, although now she is a mother herself. Over time I have become the ‘official’ cultivator of this community (thanks Rachelle for the great title, “cultivator.”) I’d venture to say that most of the current participants have been attending for seven to ten years.
Group Content: What does your typical evening together look like? Read the rest of this entry »

Hello Habituders! This is the last week of our walking habitude. I hope you all feel more energized and limber after this month of tending to self care. To send us into our last week of walking we have a guest post from miss Claire at Small Craft Advisory. Claire is one of those impossibly beautiful women who positively Radiate. She writes cunningly of the importance of the ask, hamster grief, and the wonderwoman power of wearing these. Why not go see what she has in her treehouse after you enjoy her words here.

I live in an older neighborhood, with tree lined streets, cracked sidewalks, and small bungalows built close to one encouraging tolerance and neighborliness. The streets radiate out from a city center, recently renovated but always having contained the basics; grocery stores, library, a handful of shops like Plaza Art and Manny & Olga’s Pizzeria and plentiful playgrounds. It is what I like to call my Urban Mayberry. Its a place where I can walk to all the necessities of life…food, books, art supplies and monkey bars. And this is the terrain of my daily Habitude walks.

Some days I walk with my kids—my ‘tween son racing impatiently ahead on his skateboard, younger daughter more cautiously at my side. Other days I’m out with just my dog who sniffs and pulls at the end of his leash. And sometimes I walk by myself. But always, always, I am on the lookout for found treasures.

I am a collector of small things. I never outgrew the love of a handful of little items in my pocket—stones and buttons and empty thread spools and interesting bits of metal. Even my art reflects this: collage, mixed media and knitting with all its notions and tiny implements and accoutrement. Whenever I am walking, I scan the ground for these little items. Amidst the cigarette ends, the crumpled paper bags, and beer cans crushed flat as leaves, I find things. I like to think of them as messages from the Universe, scattered behind like clues as carefully and deliberately as Hansel & Gretel’s breadcrumbs in the forest.

There are other things I lose and find, of course, on my walks. I lose the same notes and pins and coins as everyone else. I lose the stressed out way I pinball around my house in a storm of chores and errands. I step out onto the porch which faces the street and the hydrangea bushes. I feel myself soften and slow.

When I face the world placing one foot in front of the other, this 2 mile an hour pace offers a wealth of reflection and inspiration. I find my breath—that calming rhythm that matches my stride. I find my thoughts clear and uncluttered—“I think I’ll bake cornbread for dinner”, “the dog needs grooming”, “I miss my grandmother’s hands and her gold bracelets chiming”.

And so I offer this collage I have made containing the things I have found on my Habitude walks so far this month, along with the treasures of peace and breath and thought.

LadyVivienne is a new virtual friend and blogmate. Her site is sumptuous — full of beautiful photo projects like this gorgeous self portrait and a delightful city girl/country girl photo journal. Vivienne is oh-so-close to me today, visiting her sister in my sister city of Portland. (Oh, if only I had a spare six hours to round trip it down there and bliss out on the crunchy granola goodness of that fine city! ) Thankfully, this fellow habituder comes to us for a virtual cup of chai as she share some thoughts about walking, breathing and being. Enjoy this deep breath of good air!

heart,

magpie
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And now, a word from LadyV:

“I love when a simple act changes the way you function in the world, for the better. When I started going for a daily walk for this month’s habitude, I was curious to see if if it would be much different than my normal level of activity, as walking, biking and busing are the way I travel around my city. Each day I would try to make sure that I had gone on a 30 minute stroll and if I hadn’t, then I took an evening walk after dinner.

After about a week I noticed that something was missing in my daily life, something I will not miss. I stopped having that daily negative inner chatter that berated me for not being active enough. Going for a simple 30 minute walk has become an antidote to that negative voice that sits in the space between going for a run or sitting on the couch. It has stop speaking its harsh words. I am also finding it easier to go for a run on the days that I feel up to it, as its not a matter of success or failure anymore.

It reminds me of one of my favourite Veda Hille songs:

“Oh precious heart, you think you’re lost.
Look down and find your feet. The next step is the path you’re on”

You see, lately I am working hard at trying to reduce as much guilt, shame and negativity in my life as possible. As I go about this, my philosophy has been “deal with it or get rid of it” and with each small thing that I change, I’m finding it so much easier to take deep breaths in my daily life. Some of them are planned, and some snuck up on me, such as the way that walking daily makes me feel balanced and kicks my shame to the curb.

I hope to continue walking daily and keep that voice silenced and am curious to discover what other subtle changes I can make that will help each day be full of deep calm breaths.”