Tag — do less
*8 Things: Guiding Values
In our on-going mission to DO LESS, we will be taking a look at our values, and using that list to make decisions about which and tasks and projects we take on. Even if you aren’t a DO LESS revolutionary, it can still be enlightening and guide-like to check in with your values pyramid every now and again.
If you need some help making your list, my life coach Jena Strong, is offering us a kindly deal on Values Assessment Sessions. Magpie Girl readers will receive a reduce price of $75 for an hour-long session* — a super rate for some valuable soulguidance. Jena helped me find the right words to describe what I hold most dear. Those words, in turn, helped me stand in my own power and make choices for myself, knowing they were being birthed out of solid, meaningful values. In short, Jena taught me how to value my values! (Oh those professionals, they are ever-so-helpful.) Here are *8 Values that Guide My Life:
1. Whimsy
2. Generosity
3. Attentiveness
4. Creativity
5. Truth
6. Beauty
7. Freedom, and above all things
8. Love
What are the values that guide your life? Grab a button and play along or put your *8Things in the comments below. Don’t know? Call Jena and drop my name! Thanks for being here!
*The Strong Coaching reduced rate offer good thru July 31, 2009.
The DO LESS Revolution: Setting Limits
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Why Less is Powerful
Six years ago I was diagnosed with an untreatable condition, status migrainosus (chronic daily migraine). Suddenly, most of my time was spent either managing my health, or being in pain. This left little space for anything else. As I listened to the waiting room conversations at the pain clinic, I knew I was in danger of allowing this disease to take over my world. I became determined to not be defined by my pain. But as I watched my ability to write, volunteer, and counsel disappear, I began to despair. For months I struggled to come to terms with a life that felt increasingly limited.
The reality is we are all limited. There are a finite number of hours in the day, and while most of us can ignore that, eventually it catches up to us. We overbook, over commit, and try to ‘do it all.’ Then we crash with exhaustion, ulcers, and little ease or enjoyment in our life.
This limited time thing? It’s not going to change. So I started to ask myself, “What would it look like to turn this “limited time” thing into a Superpower?” [Read more →]
*8Things: I Need Less Of
Over at The DO LESS Revolution, we are getting ready to get rid of a bunch of stuff on our To-Do list.
Sometimes, I think we take the idea of Doing Less too literally, restricting ourselves to reducing only our external tasks and chores. But our internal tasks demand our time and energy as well. By internal tasks I mean the activities of our monkey mind – mental and emotional busyness. So here’s a little warm-up exercise for Friday’s DO LESS post. What *8Things do you need less of– from the internal or external list? Here’s mine, share yours!
1. Worry. I worry about my children almost all the time, especially the oldest one. Mabel likes to tell me, “You have to know deep in your soul that your kids are going to be okay.” She’s right, she’s right, I know she’s right. Now to live like it…
2. Regrets. Since midlife has come, looming regret has been a major theme of mine. Tess of Anchors and Masts has this quote as her email tagline. It helps me a lot: “It’s only too late if you don’t start now.” -Barbara Sher
3. Second Guessing. Ohmylord, my Gremlins have me doing this a lot! Especially around food and exercise. If I walk a few miles my Gremlins say, “Maybe you should have gone swimming instead.” If I eat a sandwich I get, “A salad would have been better.” Urgh.
4. Violence on Television. It’s the “Summer of Crime” on local Danish TV, which means non-stop crime dramas. Now I love Dexter as much as the next gal, but I think I’ve finally hit my limit of crime images. My psyche’s starting to feel a little bruised.
5. Laundry. I’ve got to get my kids to stop “cleaning” their room by dumping all their clothes –even the clean ones–back into the hamper.
6. Clothing Crisis. It is ridiculous how much time I spend trying to figure out what to wear these days. Two cotton short-sleeve blouses, a pair of capri jeans, and some brown sandals would solve my problems. That’s my limited shopping list when I land in the States next month.
7. Self Criticism. Specifically, I need to do less beating-myself-up about my limited ability to read these days. My migraines flare worse at night, so my evening routine of reading a novel before bed has evaporated. Instead I listen to books from Audible.com when I walk, but the available literary quality is significantly lower than what I’m accustomed to. I feel my intellect atrophying! Making peace with this reality might quite down the self critic. But how?
8. Medication. The migraines, they are awful these days. I’m pain free maybe a week all-told out of the month. Without access to the alternative practitioners that keep my pain at bay, the amount of meds I’ve had to take is creeping up. It makes me feel toxic, and stresses out my liver. Thankfully I’ll practically live in Dr. Woo Woo’s office this Summer and the meds will have a hiatus. (Phew!)
What do you need less of in your life? Clutter? Commitments? Caffeine? Complaints? Grab a button and play along or put your *8Things in the comments below. And don’t forget to join The DO LESS Revolution, here at Magpie Girl on Fridays. Go recruit a friend! Thanks for being here!
The DO LESS Revolution: Observe Closely
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Hi y’all. So how did that Have-Done List work out for you last week? I’ve heard from a few of you and the general response seems to be:
“Holy Sh*t! Look at all that stuff I just did!”
In the movie Sneakers there’s a scene where Robert Redford’s character is repeatedly saying the team’s code word over and over again in front of the bad guys. Finally, his partner, played by River Phoenix, breaks through the acoustic ceiling panel where he’s been lying in wait and lands on the bad guys. Redford says something like, “It’s about time.” Phoenix replies, “That was hard what I just did…that thing, that was hard!”
That’s kind of how I feel when I look at my Have-Done list. I feel a little bit marveled, and a little bit put out that no one is noticing how tricky it was. So this week, I just want to say, I notice. I see you, doing all that stuff and you are freakin’ amazing! (Let’s try to rest in the sparkly and marvelous moment, shall we?)
A Word About Gremlins
Now, before we move on to step two, let me lay out a little word of encouragement for some of you. [Read more →]
The Do Less Revolution – The Have-Done List.
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My memories from the days of raising infants are a bit on the fuzzy side. I didn’t really hit my stride until the toddler era. But there is one memory that stands out loud and clear:
Paul comes home from work and asks me how my day was. I start crying and say: “I just didn’t get anything done.” Then he asks me what I did that day, blow by blow. I begin a long list. “Well, I made breakfast for Eden. Then I grabbed a quick shower. Then I had to nurse Cate. Then I managed to get to the grocery store for milk. Then I fed the kids again and when I finally got them all down for a nap I opened my thesis file and re-read the last few paragraphs I had writte, but then Eden woke up. Then I cleaned out the dryer trap, but the baby started crying before I could load the washer. Then…then…then…”
The end result of this scene, replayed many many times is that I realized how much I really had done in a day.
Fast forward ten years later and that “I didn’t get anything done” routine? Yep. Still doing it. Only now my angst isn’t brought on by babies, but by a lack of work-time due to chronic pain. Up until recently I would sit on my sofa with my head wrapped in ice and make lists of all the things I needed to do when I “got better.” My to-do list literally filled 1-2 notebook pages every day. I would have a good day, or even a good couple of hours, and I’d work like mad to get that list done. But I’d barely get anything crossed off before I was in pain again, when I would return to the ice and the sofa and write a whole new To-Do List with even more items.
Then life coach Jena Strong gave me a solution: The Have-Done List.
In my experience, it’s hard to give yourself permission to Do Less unless you realize how MUCH you are already doing. The Have-Done List helps with that. Here’s what mine looked like for this morning:
Wake up. Morning cuddle with the kids. Talk Eden out of panicking over volleyball tournament today. Kiss Pooh Bear for Cate so “he doesn’t feel left out”. Make breakfast (scrambled, eggs toast). Make lunches (bagel sandwiches, fruit, mix up some trail mix). Talk about after-work plans with Paul, kiss him goodbye. Make sure Cate remembers to say her little goodbye phrase to him, which is a ritual for her every morning. Make another round of toast for the kids. Turn on the kettle, forget to make tea. Check Facebook. Email teen mentoree back. Hear the one hour snooze on my alarm clock go off; holler out that it’s time for socks and shoes. Throw on sweats. Walk kids to school. Negotiate argument over who is faster, Eden on her bike or Cate on her scooter. Say hello to the neighbor family, wracking my pre-caffeine brain to use all five sentences of known Danish. Make quick arrangements on the corner with a classmate for an after school play date. Kiss children goodbye. Walk the lakes home while listening to This American Life. Battle Gremlins who tell me that even though I am exercising every day, it is not enough. Come home. Give the dogs the leftover scrambled eggs. Delight in happy puppy. Clean up the breakfast flotsam and jetsam. Check email. …
Okay, that was two hours – TWO HOURS – of my day. Every weekday I’ve made two meals –TWO MEALS — in the first hour I was awake. I mean, come on! Plus, check out the brain-activity level and emotional energy that went into those action-packed hours. Child psychology 101, a little bit of priestess work, Gremlin wrangling, and teen angst before the caffeine. Damn. That’s pretty much a full day’s work, in my humble opinion.
I’m guessing your day isn’t much different from mine. We need to start giving ourselves credit for that, yes? We need to stop lying to ourselves about how much we do, and how much more we “should” get done.
Try it. Right now. Grab a piece of paper and start. Write down everything you do – and don’t forget the brain and emotional projects as well.
Now, hold up a minute dearies, that thing you are doing right there — where you are trying to think of some perfect notebook, or a super-creative system for keeping your list straight — stop doing that right now. Any writing surface will do. You can even write some of it in your journal, and some of in on the receipts in your pocket, and some of it on the notepad by the phone. That’s fine, really it is. You can always pull ‘em all together later and feel super bad ass about your nice big stack. And the beauty thing about this is, even if you don’t do it consistently, even if you skip large portions of your day – it will still be massively impressive.
This is step one: Notice how much you are doing. Don’t analyze it. Don’t make any changes. Just notice. Notice your very productive, very busy life. There’s time for step two another day.
Now, I would love to set up a Flickr group and have y’all send in photos of your Have-Done list, because I think it would be fun. But it’s one more thing for you to do, and it’s one more thing for me to do. It’s not that essential so we’ll skip that bit. But I do hope you’ll drop a comment below sometime this week and let us know how it’s going. That will help me customize the DO LESS Revolution for you, my lovelies, and it will contribute to the giant pool wisdom that we all need so much.
Have fun watching your amazing, productive, colorful life unfold on the page before you! See you next week here at the DO LESS revolution.
The Do Less Revolution is an on-going, start-any-time project of Magpie Girl. Click here to join or find all the Do Less posts here. Recieve an update on new Do Less items by following us on Twitter. Thanks for being here!
*8 Things: Self Care Essentials
Wouldn’t you know it? I’m gearing up to write a series of posts for the new Do Less Campaign, and my to-do list is suddenly stressing me out.
Universe, meet Sense of Humor.
Do Less kicks off tomorrow with Why I Keep A Have-Done List. But since it’s *8 Things Thursday, let’s do a little warm-up exercise. It’s time to think about what you need to stay healthy and sane on a day-to-day basis. Here’s my basic set:
1. Sleep: I need 8 hours a night, and if my migraines are flaring I grab a nap at 3pm as well.
2. Exercise: A walk or swim and at least 10 minutes of yoga a day is helpful in keeping the migraines and bay.
3. Quiet: My brain hyper-processes all sensory intake, so background noise stresses me out. I work without music or talk radio in the office.
4. Meditative Activities: If I’m feeling stressed, a few rows of knitting or some time on the guitar always helps.
5. Work/Rest Rhythm: This book helped me figure out a good work/rest pattern. If my migraines are bad I have to work one hour, rest one hour. One good days I can work 2-3, rest 1. It makes me feel lame, but I’m learning that it is what’s functional for me right now.
6. Morning Cuddle: this 15 minute check-in time with my girls is a must. (more here)
7. Grown Ups: I work alone and live in a culture where I don’t speak the language. At least one coffee or lunch with a friend each week is required to keep me sane.
8. Meaningful Conversations: “Only Connect” is a big theme for me. Talks with my Soulsisters and my teenage-darlings must regularly for my spirit to feel strong.
What *8 Things are your self-care essentials? Grab a button and play along, or leave your link for this week’s list is the comments below. Thanks for reading!
Do Less with Magpie Girl
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Hello loves! Listen, I’m worried about you.
I read your Twitters and Facebook status updates, and occasionally peek at your blogs. And you know what? Y’all are way WAY too busy! I see a lot of posts about too many meetings, insurmountable to-do lists, and rushing about on weekends. I’m beginning to suspect that some of you have caffeine running in your veins.
Now you know I love you right? So this is not a critique. I mean, we are all just trying to work it out with the smallest amount of fear and trembling possible. You’re doing your best. But if you feel like your adrenaline is constantly pumping because you can never get enough done then maybe, just maybe it’s time for an little Magpie Girl intervention.
So let me say this about that, there is no way you can shuffle your current schedule around to make things fit. You cannot fit two gallons of water in a pint glass. You’re just going to have to Do Less. I know it feels like you can’tdo less. I know it feels like you HAVE to to everything on your list and more. But I can virtually promise you that this is not the case. I think we can help each other through this.
Are you practically salavating right now? Are you simultaneously wildly hopeful and scared shitless? I thought so. Then this Do Less thing is for you.
So here’s the deal, beginning this month I am going to write a series of posts on how to Do Less. I’ll start right now, with this guest post on What the Danes Taught Me About Finding Balance over at Starshyne Productions. Just breathe into that one for a minute, and while it may not have all the answers for you, if it is speaking to your heart trust that you’re on the right track.
Then tune in on May 15th for the plan of action. Some of it will involve this book, which you can order or dowload on Audible.com. If the thought of having ANOTHER unread book on your bedside table causes your chest to sieze up, don’t worry, if you don’t have to read/listen to it — you can still play along. There will be lists (I LOVE lists) and then smaller lists and then you will emerge this concentrated powerhouse of focus with a Zen like ablity to float. Okay–maybe not that great, but you’ll feel better.
What do you say? Wanna play? Great! See you on the 15th.
P.s. Are you already playing along with Soultribes? Guess what, this will help. It’s hard to make space for soulsiblings when you are spininng around like the Tazmanian Devil. So ask your gut if you should play here too, and trust her answer. Love, R.
