I’m going to try to turn whinning into a superpower by turning my major If’s into “If….then” clauses that might get me closer to my dream goals. Wanna play?

1. IF you had a start-up fund you would have the help you need for your small business. (THEN I’d better start reading Itty Biz  because according to this interview, she is all about helping “single person business” get rolling.)

2. IF I had unlimited funds all my clothes would fit and be flattering. (THEN I’d better get rid of the unflattering stuff and start building a wardrobe that flatters one piece at a time.)

3. IF I could, I would spend a good portion of each winter in a sunny climate. (THEN I’d better get on some home exchange sites and see what we can work out.)

4. IF I was single I would never eat anything a but take-out and scrambled eggs for dinner. (THEN you better stop with the 50′s housewife “hot home cooked meal with two sides” crap and recognize that your family is fine with a bowl of spaghetti and some sliced bell peppers.)

5. IF I had more time I would swim every day. (THEN you better start realizing the time you have is the time you have, and choose to make swimming a priority.)

6. IF my bike was working I would ride it more. (THEN you better find the spare keys, walk it to the bike shop, and  pump up the tires on Saturday.)

7. IF I knew how, I would get my readers talking a little bit more. (THEN you better start trying different techniques/ideas and see what works.)

8. IF  I could hire someone who could write code, I wouldn’t have to do so much manual fiddly work on my websites. (THEN you better start asking around to find out how to hire this mysterious person and how much it would cost.)

What is your list for *8Things : IF (THEN)? Let us know in the comments, or grab a button and play along. If you post on your list on your blog, please give us the permalink in the Mr. Linky below so we can come say hi! Thanks for being here.

Also, I am a terrible actress.

So today I want to give you little peek into the neurosis that is me, trying to build a model for my work that is sustainable. (ie. some stuff for free, some stuff for fee) 

As you know, I’ve recently launched an online soul spa, Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl. You may also have heard that I’m in the process of writing a book and creating content for several ECourses. Oh, and P.S., revamping my website. Right now most of these are in various stages of production, and all of them are stuck until my lovely designer can finish the artwork. (Apparently this does not happen by magic, nor overnight. Damn.)

Oh, and p.s. more money is going out than is coming in.

I have been blogging for 7 years, false-starting books for the last 3, and trying to figure out how to offer soulcare to a happy band of misfits for as long as I can remember. Now, when I’m ready to send things out in the world I feel stymied and stuck.

I can’t tell if I’m “going slow to go fast,” or just fucking things up.

My Gremlins are telling me that I’m charging to much, and that people don’t like me, and that my lack of art and computer skills are going to bog me down forever. Basically all the normal things the Gremlins say.  I’ve fed them taffy and made them martinis– I’ve even taken them out for a walk,  and nothing is calming them down.

So here is what I am going to do:

1) I will tell you True Things about this process.
2) You will SEE them.
3) This will help the Real feel  more Real. 

So if you could, if you wouldn’t mind…after reading this could you please put a note, or at least “I SEE  YOU” in the comments? That would really, really help.

Thanks!

1. “Honoring my Work Makes it More Powerful” — This is my mantra. It reminds me to charge for things. (I have to say it a lot.)

2. Heretics break new ground. Don’t fear the stake.

3. “It’s all happening.”

4. Your creative pattern is “wait, wait, GO!”  Watch for the green light.

5. You don’t have to be afraid of being big…

6. …and Small is Beautiful.

7. Generosity is a form of wisdom. Even if the people you promoted don’t promote you back, it is still worth taking the time to help out.

8.Eventually you will tip, go viral, and find (more) of your people.

Okay folks, time for me to go back to creating products. I knew I could count on you!

Thanks for being here.

Remember last month when I gave Everett Bouge’s The Art of Being Minimalist a kind of lackluster review in this post on *8Things to Minimize?

I changed my mind. (You knew I’d come around, didn’t you Everett?)

It’s sticking with me, this little book, and the ideas presented in it are turning ’round and ’round in my mind. Since reading it Paul and I are seriously considering:

• living without a car when we return stateside.
• extending the lease on our six bedroom house in Seattle in order to experiment with  living in small, downtown condo. 
• selling 90% of our 1,000 volume library. (150 is our new golden number)
• getting rid of most of our DVD’s.

Anything that makes you re-think that much stuff is worth the $9.95. (Soon to go up to $19.95.) Plus, it’s an ebook – no physical clutter required. And it has a beautiful minimalist design, which I, the migrainuer, appreciates. (No visual clutter!)

Now look, I know a lot of you are doing too much.  So don’t buy this if it’s just going to be one more thing sitting on your desk waiting to be read. But if you have 90 minutes to read it this weekend, it might change your life.

Click here to buy The Art of Being Minimalist.

P.s. If you buy the book by clicking on a link in this post, you’ll be buying me a cuppa. For my full disclosure statement about how I love you and only tell you good things, click here.

The monkey-ish part of my mind is telling me that everything is going to fall apart: I’ll get sick again and not be able to keep up. No one will pay for my services and skill. And the loudest message of all: “Everyone Else is more Helpful than You.”

I’m embarrassingly predictable.

Part of this pattern is attributable to my religious upbringing, which drilled into my subconscious this If/Then clause:

If you ‘step out to do God’s work’ then you will ‘come under attack.’

I point this out because I know many of my readers are in the same boat. I think part of what we do here together, is to re-write our inner narratives so they reflects more health, more shalom. When my voices loom large and I start defining things as “attack,” it helps to remember that this discombobulated feeling is actually a normal part of the creative process; that many of my artistic friends express the same phenomenon; and that like the physical reality of childbirth, eventually these hormonally-things level out.

In the wake of this gremlin uprising, I decided to check in with some of my favorite writers. Once a week or so I go through the blogs on my RSS feeds. I follow about 50 people, and checking in on them is one of my favorite things to do when I feel stuck, or overwhelmed, or lonely. There is so much beauty in these writers and artists, so much wisdom, and hope and breakthrough. Today was no different. Everyone seemed to have cooked up good stuff over the holidays. But this time, instead of inspiring me, those rich, winsome posts started getting me down. “See,” said the monkey gremlins “I told you Everyone Else is More Helpful than You.”

I started getting whiney. Whiney, insecure, and jealous. I don’t want those feelings. I don’t even feel like they belong to me. They belong to my miserly, selfish, un-generous Evil Twin. The real me is grateful and generous. The real me celebrates the success and wisdom of Other Women. The real me is Dangerously Giving. The real me is madly in love with Abundance and throws things out into the universe two handfuls at a time.

So in an effort to quite my Gremlins, settle my Monkey Mind, and banish my Evil Twin, I decided to sing. (Tra La La!) As an antidote, I am Singing the Praises of kind bloggers who have brought wisdom, insight and beauty into my life today. I’m honoring their Passion and Attentiveness. I’m saying: “Hey, look over there at what THEY did!” Most of all, I’m being grateful. Because at my core, that is my truest self.

May you find all these good things and more today.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

Bloggers to Banish The Gremlin Blues

If you need to banish fear from your life: write a Dear Fear letter with The Penny Has Dropped. (She starts with “Dear Fear, fuck off….). And for more on fear, have a cuppa with the ElderWoman (via Anchors and Masts).

If you need a rite of letting go for the New Year:  Pink Coyote has a powerful one. (It involves fire!)

If you need to set aside all the rush and emotion and ups and downs of The Holidays and just celebrate possibility, The Bliss Chick can help.

If you are dreading re-entry to your work/school/normal routine, The Girl Who Cried Epiphany has some good thoughts on dealing with other people’s energy. (A constant growing edge for me.)

Who gave you the food you needed today? Share some link love in the comments below and pass the goodness on!

One of the more challenging parts of living a creative life is discovering your best working rhythm. We all have a work pattern that suits our energy levels and nurtures us with alternating periods of work and rest, gathering and creating.

I have spent plenty of time trying to force myself into a “productive” work routine that ended up being anything butproductive, simply because it didn’t match my natural habits. Like lifecoach Jena Strong always says, ”It’s all about function.”  That’s why this week’s  *8Things is all about uncovering your creative patterns. The rhythm is already there, you just have to pull off the blanket and see what is there waiting for you.

How do you like to work? When do you like to start, how long it takes for you to get into the flow, do you like to work in silence or with music? Your intuitive voice will help access the information you need to uncover a work rhythm that supports your creative pursuits. Write down *8Things you know about Your Creative Rhythm and put them in the comments below or grab a button and play along by putting a permalink to your post in the list below.

Special thanks to this week to Sarah and at Creative Lessons who gave me the idea for this *8Things list; to Jen Lee for her excellent “Making Soup” metaphor about the ebb and flow of the creating process; and to Dee Wilcox at the Creative Perch for sharing this *8Things list with a wider audience. Thanks for being here!

Rachelle’s *8Things: Creative Rhythm

1. Embrace Your BioRhythm: There is no point in me trying to write before noon. I do administrative work in the morning in my PJ’s, shower after lunch, the get to writing.
2. Manage Your Downloads:  Just because I have a huge download of creative ideas doesn’t mean I have to do them all at once. I can suppress the hyper-mania if I remember they’ll keep.
3. Know Your Tender Spots:After announcing a project or sending it out to the world I’m virtually guaranteed to have a bout of self-doubt and insecurity. I enlist help.
4. Trouble Shoot Your Wheel of Work Weak Spots:  I like generating ideas and starting things. I’ m not so good with the middle and the finish. During that part of the a project I have to write out an hour by hour daily schedule to get it DONE.
5. Don’t Isolate:  I live abroad and work at home — so seeing another adult IN REAL LIFE at least once a week is imperative!
6. Know What You Need:  It’s true, I’m a feedback whore. I like immediate reaction to what I’m working on. Thus, I blog.
7. What’s Your Addiction of Choice?: Facebook and Twitter I can manage, YouTube and Hulu suck me in like a black hole
8. Your Nutrional Needs. Must. Have. Input. Artists dates are a must. I try to go to a gallery, garden, or performance once a month.

If  you’ve been hanging out for even a little bit here at Magpie Girl, you know how much I adore my life coach, Jena Strong of Strong Coaching. (website : blog) She’s the perfect combination of compassionate gentleness and no nonsense direction.

Today Jena is here to help with something so many of us in the creative realm struggle with: the imposter syndrome. Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Do you think everyone else knows what they are doing while you are splashing around in the deep end? Then this my friend is for you. Jena, take it away….

The Imposter Sydrome: Diagnosis and Treatment
by Jena Strong

Let’s get the bad news over with first. The Imposter Syndrome is rampant. President Obama should declare a national emergency. Free vaccine clinics should be set up. Thousands, millions perhaps, of talented, creative, wise, and caring individuals suffer from this debilitating, delusional condition.

Now for the good news. There are only a few symptoms and they are really all facets of the same thing: A mistaken belief that you are not good enough. And best of all, the Imposter Syndrome is highly responsive to treatment. Continue reading to learn more, and if you believe you are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, please! Seek help immediately.

GENERAL SYMPTOMS

A nagging voice in your head saying things like, “You call yourself a real _______?” Blank may be filled in with profession or vocation of your choice: Writer, Artist, Life Coach, Teacher, Business Owner, Mom, etc.

Habit of comparing yourself to Other People on a regular basis, wherein you usually come up short.

Certainty that said Other People have It All Figured Out, i.e. they are more confident, competent, and eminently more qualified than you to do whatever it is that you do. And by the way, they most definitely do notsuffer from the Imposter Syndrome themselves.

Underlying anxiety that it is only a matter of time before somebody realizes you are a fraud – and calls you on it, most likely in a humiliating, public manner.

TREATMENT

Remember that other People are not paying that much attention to you.They are much more self-absorbed than that. In fact, there is a significant chance that they themselves are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, in which case they are most likely thinking how much more confident, competent, talented, creative, accomplished, and qualified YOU are than they are.

Trust the fear. I know this seems contradictory, but here’s what I mean: The more persistent that nagging voice is that’s calling you a con-artist, the more likely it is that you are actually doing exactly what you are meant to be doing. Know that the voice will get louder before it dies down, especially if you start ignoring it, but it will, in time, begin to give up the fight and let you do your work in this world fully and without doubt, second-guessing, and insecurity. Marianne Williamson said it most famously: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world.”

Get to know your gremlin. I cannot recommend this enough. The book Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson is playful and highly useful for this; it’s the only book I ask my coaching clients to read. The fact is, the Imposter Syndrome is the gremlin’s distorted way of trying to protect you from failure. The clearer you get about what you’re really up to, the more impotent your gremlin will begin to feel. Consider writing your gremlin a letter telling him or her why you are bored with the Imposter Syndrome and how it is you plan to move forward.

Make a conscious choice about where to place your attention. Having a working relationship with your Gremlin will come in very handy here. You can start talking to him or her, e.g. “Gremlin (or Shirley or Drill Sergeant or whatever your gremlin’s name may be), I appreciate what you’re up to here, but I’m actually much more interested in _______ (making my art, writing my book, teaching my class, building my business, nurturing my relationships, changing the world) than in your relentless attempts to make me feel small and incompetent. Now go have a cup of tea and I’ll check in with you later.”

Do It Anyway. My father’s best advice to me, on my wedding day, was “Start. Keep Going.” Action is the greatest form of reclaiming your power from the falsity of the Imposter Syndrome. Sure, your gremlin will keep trying to win you back, but the more you move forward, noticing her but not letting her run the show, the more discouraged she will become. (Pretty soon, your gremlin may herself wind up with a case of the Imposter Syndrome. “I’m a total fraud! Who am I to call myself a gremlin?” she may cry. And we will all shed big alligator tears for her.)

Be Honest. Share. Connect. Tell Your Story. Things fester in the dark. Silence, hiding, shame, embarrassment – all of these keep us from shining, from sharing our light and our experience and our wisdom and our gifts with each other. What a loss. Amazing things happen when you choose to speak the truth: it gives the people around you permission to do the same, and everything begins to change.

Find a Buddy. We do this work alone, but we don’t do this work alone. Having a witness, a fellow gremlin-warrior, someone who knows what we’re up to, someone to help hold us accountable, someone to help us get back up when we fall, makes all the difference and helps guarantee our success. Or you might consider working with a life coach.

Celebrate. As you move through this process, bring your awareness to the times when you forget to feel like an imposter. Write them down in a special journal. Take yourself on a date or do something kind for someone who is feeling unsteady. Most importantly, be good to yourself – and spread the love.

For more Jena Strong goodness you can find her in at least a half-dozen places here at Magpie Girl, or WAY better yet, find her at Strong Coaching where she takes local and long-distant clients under her coaching wing.

So here it is my sweet Magpie Girl friends, all raw and in the mess.

I’m working hard right now. I’m finally well enough that I can work. My iron levels are no longer at a near-critical state, and my energy has dramatically improved. Now I can actually stay awake all day. I don’t have to go up the stairs to my studio on my hands and knees (literally), and the migraine pain doesn’t lay me up nearly as often. It feels good, just to be able to work this hard.

Coming Now(ish): Magpie Girl Guidebooks!
I’ve got two small PDF books on the cusp of being done. They are in that endless editing process where all the little details need to be decided upon on in the design, and all the typos need to be fixed in the text. The main book is a slim volume called SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul. It goes to the editor this weekend, and will be for sale the first or second week of November.

The supplemental book is SoulFood: How to cook for a tribe. It just went to the designer today, and I hope to have it available for you as a free download by the end of the month. (I wanted both of them up for my 40th, but I’m letting go of self-imposed deadlines and trying not to be a drama queen about it.) These two books are part of a new series of  Magpie Girl Guides.  (There are 4 more planned.) I could not be more thrilled that the first two are a collaborative effort with my Soulsisters! I’m just so damned proud and grateful I can hardly stop beaming over it.

Up Next: Your Soultribe!
On the heels of these book projects is my newest brainchild – on-line Soultribes! I’ll be offering two Soultribes beginning in January:

• Soulcraft Circle will be focused on doing a monthly art-based spiritual practice together.
• Magpie Girl’s High Holy Days will be about celebrating seasonal rites and rituals based on my own kooky Magpie Girl mix of traditions.

Both Soultribes will feature a private website where you’ll receive monthly assignments from moi, plus a place to share your experiences with others. Artful soulcare with a tribe! What could be better?

Won’t it be a great to start the New Year with a tribe around you? I’m “pinch me” excited!

The Way It Makes me Feel
In the midst of all this creating I’m vacillating wildly between opposing emotions. One minute I’m thinking, “Squee! I have so many lovely pals!”; and the next I’m desperately lonely. Monday I may be happy to spread around the goodness regarding all my virtual collegues’ courses, books, and other offerings. Tuesday I may be dying of jealousy. The first hour of the workday I may feel secure that I’m following my passion. By lunch I’m Mrs. McDoubtyPants. I haven’t felt like this since I was expecting the girls. It feels like pregnancy.

Even as I type that I know it’s right. It is like pregnancy — all hormones and mood swings and cravings–because something good is about to get born. And I have all of you with me in the birthing room. What a lucky girl I am! (Oh, I am so holding on to that with both hands for when the labor gets tough.)

So there you have it…if you write down the mess, you come to clarity. Without you dear readers, I never would have gotten there. (Thank you for listening to me spout.) I’m in the transition stage of labor now, and I may grab you by the neck and scream, “You! YOU did this to me!” (and then demand jewlery.)  But eventually we’ll hear that first tiny cry of new life and we’ll all just sit around glowing at what we helped get born. Thanks for holding this space for me. You are my very favorite midwives.

See you on the other side!

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

One of today’s posts is by Jennifer McGuiggan of The Word Cellar. Jennifer is a professional freelance writer and editor. As such, she knows a thing or two about creative cycles. She’s talked me out of more than one slump, launching me past my sticking points and on to project completion. Today she shares with Magpie Girl readers “The Wheel of Work” concept. Join Jennifer as she shows us how to propel ourselves past our natural sticking points by playing to our strengths — and enlisting help for the rest.

Overcoming Your Natural Sticking Points (Innovator’s Edition)
By Jennifer McGuiggan

I can’t figure out how to start this blog post, which is absolutely perfect. Perfect because I’m trying to write about overcoming your natural sticking point in a project. And mine just happens to be this exact point: the point between brainstorming/mapping out the idea and refining/finalizing the project. I get stuck at the beginning of production and creation.

I used to wonder why “everyone else” has such great ideas and gets so much done. My husband, ever my cheerleader, pointed out that I do have a lot of potentially great ideas, all floating around in my head or stashed away in notebooks. He regularly reminds me that I do manage to get stuff done, even big things like starting a freelance writing and editing business; researching/applying to/enrolling in graduate school; and navigating the treacherous waters of real estate and mortgages to buy our first house.

So what’s the problem, I wondered. Why do I sometimes get so stuck that I jump ship and leave my ideas to languish on the deck?

Then a friend shared the concept of the Wheel of Work with me and the pieces fell into place. The wheel tracks the eight phases of a project and can help us to see where we thrive and where we need support. (Note: I don’t know the original source of the Wheel of Work. If you do, please tell us in the comments.)

The Wheel of Work

I’m naturally skilled in the conceptual half, particularly Advising, Innovating, and Developing. This means I’m good at brainstorming and connecting ideas, thinking about things in new and unexpected ways, researching, and collecting resources. But when it’s time to Organize and Produce, I seize up. All those possible directions and a desire to “do it right” can stymie my attempts at creating. I dream things up, but then I have trouble Organizing my thoughts and moving into Production.

If you look at the wheel, you’ll see that Organize and Produce are opposite of Advise and Innovate. This is usually the case: The pieces of the wheel furthest away from our natural strengths are the pieces we find to be most difficult.

If you get stuck at the point of creation, here are four tips on getting from idea generation to post-production.

1. Collect your project ideas in one place. I struggle with this and tend to have scraps of paper and journal pages littered with ideas. But I do my best to put them all in one notebook that’s segmented for different idea types, like essay and article ideas, resources to consult, and possible collaborative projects. This way, I know where everything is and can keep track of my brain jumble.

2. Consider the path of least resistance. Natural-born innovators often end up with long lists of potential projects and no sense of direction. When you have too many projects to choose from, or even too many possible directions within a single project idea, you can end up quitting before you start because you feel overwhelmed. If you can’t figure out what project to focus on, prioritize your list of ideas. The criteria you use for prioritizing is up to you. Maybe you want to pick the project that you think has the most money-making potential. Maybe one project seems ripe for the picking because your audience is hungry for it.

When in doubt, I say go for the one that most appeals to you. We tend to think that anything “good” has to be “hard,” but I say do what works and feels good. Don’t think of it as the easy way out. Rather, think of it was the easy way through. The same thing applies to choosing a direction within one particular project. For example, I just kept on writing this post, going in the direction that seemed easiest as I went along. As I got further down the path, I could more clearly see what needed to come next and where I needed to go back and revamp things.

3. Stop assuming and get the facts.One of the ways that we sabotage ourselves is by making assumptions. We assume that we can’t afford a graphic designer, so why bother to start writing that ebook? We assume we won’t find a vacant room at the bed and breakfast we love, so why bother to plan that getaway? We assume we’ll run out of ideas halfway through the article, so why bother to create an outline? Stop it with the what-ifs! Don’t let a lack of information dictate your progress. Worrying about what may-or-may-not-be just keeps you stuck. Get the facts you need to figure out the next steps. And remember that not every step of a project is contingent upon another step. Figure out what you can do concurrently, like writing the ebook content while waiting to hear back from designers. If you stay committed to the project, you’ll find a way to make it work.

4. Enlist help. Chances are you have friends and colleagues who are naturally skilled in other parts of the Wheel of Work. When you’re stuck on how to begin or what to do next, ask for input from someone you trust. Even someone with the same sticking points as you may be able to help. For example, although I struggle to see my way forward at the beginning of my projects, I do it with ease and confidence when working with my clients. We tend to create drama and fear around our natural sticking points when it comes to our own projects because we’re emotionally attached to them. An outsider doesn’t have the same baggage and can point the way forward.

This is how I get past my natural sticking points. What are your sticking points along the Wheel of Work and how do you overcome them? Add to the Giant Pool of Wisdom by leaving your suggestions in the comments.

Jennifer McGuiggan is a professional writing, editing, and consulting services to businesses, organizations, and individuals. Read about her services at The Word Cellar and browse through her portfolio to learn more.

Today at Magpie Girl, Jamie speaks with us about the way creative souls recieve feedback, and how to honor our emotions while learning from the curve ball that criticism and critque can sometimes throw at us.  Do you have a teen or tween? Pass this on to them as well. It’s a life skill I wish I had acquired at 13 instead of 30! Jamie, take it away….

_______________________________________

Recently I asked people why it’s so important to us that people like our artwork. In my own life, I’m noticing how that’s also true for me about anything that I’ve really put my heart into. When I offer a workshop, I’m hoping with all my heart that people are going to love it, that they’ll feel inspired and hopeful and glad they took part.

There’s something wonderful about this. It inspires me to offer my best work and to learn and grow all the time. It comes from a place of deep commitment to the participants and a sincere desire to make a difference in their lives. It reminds me that creating a workshop or a newsletter or a meal or an event is a creative act, one that you pour your soul into.

And what happens if despite all of that, people don’t like it?

Here’s how I’ve learned to handle negative feedback. I hope it bolsters your tender heart the way it has bolstered mine:

1. Let yourself feel what you feel. If I’m hurt, disappointed, angry, defiant or whatever else, I get to experience that like a storm until it settles. I don’t have to pretend it’s not there, judge it, rise above it. I just get to feel what I feel.

2. Look for learning. Once the storm starts to quiet, I see if there’s anything I’d like to respond to. I’m not adjusting the work for one particular person. If I move away from the core of my vision to accommodate someone else, it starts to feel wobbly and I start to feel insecure. That lets me know that I’m moving in the wrong direction. But if I use the information to see if I can bring my creation closer to what I dream of for it, then I can use it to improve the work. There’s joy and confidence in there. The difference is palpable.

3. Let go of what’s not useful. If someone just didn’t like what I’ve created or offered or shared, but it’s something that I believe in or love or is true to me, I remind myself that not everyone is going to love what I do, and that’s fine. What I’ve learned from the information is that my gift is not for this person. I can let the rest go. 

4. Trust. I remind myself that my people are out there, people who will appreciate my unique gifts and offerings. One of the truly important things about blogging is it allows us to extend our reach in finding our people, so that when we share what is uniquely and authentically our gift, we have more of an around-the-world opportunity for someone to read it and get it.

Molly Gordon talks about how in business we have a niche and we have an offer. I think this is true in life generally. Our offer is what we sincerely, authentically bring to this world. It’s who we are and what we share. And our niche is that place, that ecosystem according to Molly, in which that offer is easily and recognizably of value. There’s nothing to be taken personally about being a rainforest plant who doesn’t fit into the desert. Just keep looking for home and reaching out to your people.

Jamie Ridler MA CPCC is a creative self-development coach and director of Jamie Ridler Studios. She helps creative, independent spirits align their lives with their hearts and pursue their dreams with joy, courage and authenticity. She leads Circe’s Circle, a coaching telecircle for Creative Bloggers designed to help you start building your creative dreams. A new session stars September 15th. For updates and inspiration, you’ll find her on Twitter.

That’s happening with some of us who are gathering for Soulsisters ’09 this weekend. We are workin’ on it! But I’m sure you have ideas about what to do too. So here’s a re-post fromthe Soulsisters blog –  ‘cuz we need Magpie Girl readers to add to our Giant Pool of Wisdom. Can you help? ……

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So I’ve heard through my Twitter and email that our Gremlins are chattering away at us and they aren’t being very nice. Gremlins, for those of you new readers our there, are the little voices in our heads who tell us un-true things. Most of the time they are trying to help, but they are a little mis-guided. But sometimes they are just downright being nasty.

According to Jen Lee, she of the Lovebombers–a group which was the inspiration for Soulsisters–the Gremlins like to get chatty right before we gather up with other powerful, creative women. And one of the things they like to say best is:

 ”You don’t belong here and nobody is going to like you.”

 Yeah, you’re right back in Jr. High. Sucks.

 So what can we do about it? I like to build my Gremlins a house where they can sit down and have a nice Gin and Tonic and SHUT UP ALREADY. I also write down all the things they are saying to me and put those quotes away for them. That way the Gremlins know I’m listening to them and sometimes quieten down. It also helps to say a little affirmation. My Gremlins are pretty silly, so I like the silly affirmation from Bill Smiley (was that his name?) on SNL:

 ”I’m loveable, I’m capable, and doggonit, people like me!”

When all else fails call a Soulsister and ask her to tell you *8Things that are Great about You. (She won’t mind, honest.) And remember, if your Gremlins are talking a blue streak, it’s a sure sign that something good is trying to get itself born.

Are your Gremlins coming out? (They also like to mess with your relationship with your significant other; sneeze on your children so they get strep throat right before you leave; and pour sugar in your carburetor.) What are your Gremlins up to? What are your tricks for dealing with the pesky little buggers? How can we help?

*8 Things my Gremlins Are Telling Me

1) You can’t do anything to help the people you love.

2)You can’t live a cushy life and you can’t keep to a schedule, therefore you are doomed.

3) There’s no way around your insomnia. It will always suck all your time.

4) Depression will always have it’s hooks in you.

5) The people you feel passionate about could care less. You are making a fool of yourself by caring.

6) The work you feel passionately about doesn’t want you.

7) p.s. you are fat.

8) p.s.s. and lazy.

Jena says I should ask my Soultribe for what I need. So please, please send advice and encouragement my way today. Love, Rachelle

It’s almost a new year and I feel all prickly with happy anticipation. As my soulsister Jen Lemen always says, “Something hopeful this way comes.” To paraphrase Harry Met Sally, “She’s right, she’s right, I know she’s right”….and isn’t it about time?

So here’s what I think my soulsiblings: if we are going to build tribes, launch book projects, fill our portfolios, have babies, beackon the lovely, and just generally make space to get things born, we’d better get ready. And for me, the number one thing I need to do to get ready is to get my Gremlins to QUIET THE FUCK DOWN!

You probably need that too, right? What’s that you say? What are Gremlins? WHAT ARE GREMLINS?! Oh, you SO need to know this terminology. Sit down, sistah.

“Gremlin” is the term coined in Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. It’s a way of describing the little voices in your head that tell you untrue things. This American Life did a great piece on Gremlins called The Devil In Me. In the second act Nancy Updike asks people what the little voice inside their heads is telling them. The answers are at turns tragic, stunning, and most of all, utterly familiar. Go ahead and have a listen. We’ll wait…

Are you back? Did you hear your own Gremlins in there? I know I did.

When my life coach, Jena Strong, first suggested that I started working with my Gremlins, I wanted to throw the book at her head. I couldn’t pin my Gremlins down long enough to find out if they had girl parts or boy parts; I couldn’t read their name tags; and doggonit, they were LEGION! My Gremlins? They were very, VERY noisy.

Then Jen suggested that I take all the voices in my head and make hash marks. In any given day how many times did my Gremlins say something nice to me, and how many times did they say something negative? I tried this. After 48 hours I did not have one single hash mark in the positive column. The negative column on the other hand was quite lively.

Jen said that since my Gremlins were so very busy, maybe I should build them somewhere to go after work. After all, they did have my best intentions at heart. They were trying to protect me – to keep me from doing anything scary, or potentially painful, or too awfully adventuresome. So maybe I should give them a nice shag carpet and, in the words of Jena “sit them down and pour them a stiff drink already.”

So I did. I made them a crash pad in the charming urban-decay style. Wall paper, gilt mirrors, and battery operated twinkly lights…I spared no expense. As I worked on this mansion for the little demons, my un-namable Gremlins began to take dimension and shape. They became less ethereal, and more manageable. Soon the legion was happily ensconced in a pretty little Gremlin dollhouse.

Now that I was a full five feet taller than they were, I felt empowered. I could totally kick their butts. Like Jen says, if they misbehave I could just send them to paperdoll Gitmo.

I rapidly discovered I was not at all pleased that Gremlin Blythe had allowed the other Gremlins to propagate, so I made her put everybody on a neat little leash. The next step was to let the Gremlins take ownership of their own messages, so they didn’t rattle around in my busy little mind. I’ve always adored those little slips of paper that come in fortune cookies, so I cut a whole stack of them and put them next to a tin in the Gremlin dollhouse. Here are just some of the messages that filled that tin up in the first few hours:

“Where you are is not good enough.”
“You never get enough done.”
“Your passions aren’t strong enough.”
“You can’t climb out of this confusion.”
“You never finish anything.”
“WHIMP.”

Now, keep in mind that I have been writing, reading, and carrying around affirmations to counter these messages for weeks. But something about writing them down in their negative, shitty versions was totally empowering. Now they belonged not to me, but to this third person – the Gremlins. They weren’t mine to have and to hold, and they weren’t mine to carry. Now Blythe and her crew could tuck them away on their bookshelf and keep them dusted and alphabetized. Not. My. Problem.

I cannot tell you strongly enough how much of a breakthrough this has been for me. My noisy Gremlins are much quieter these days, and when they do start getting chatty I act like a staff writer from the Evening Post—I just make the report. The quote gets shorthaneded onto a slip of paper and tucked into their dollhouse. End of story.

Since the Gremlin Dollhouse had debuted on my shelf of shrines, it has captured several pairs of eyes. Catie has one now—a whole Gremlin village—and Mabes has worked up a version that looks a like a set from Skins. …What about you? Do you need a place to put the voices in your head? Do your naysaying demons need a crash pad? Start gathering images and items that seem Gremlin-ish to you, and see if you can make a place for that negative self talk to take a load off for awhile. This–this silly game of cut, color and paste–thiscould be your breakthrough for a brand New Year.

What are your Gremlin’s name? Do they have a favorite color/outfit/theme song? Let’s get in charge of these whippersnappers! Talk to us in the comments or send us a picture in our Gremlin Dollhouse Flickr group.