Tag — books
Wednesday Review: The Monk Downstairs
The Monk Downstairs
(This paperback version include book group discussion questions and the first chapter of the sequel.)
Recently I requested all of my medical records to lug with me to Denmark in my continued quest to stay out of status migranosis. There were two manila envelopes full of them — and that was just from one neurologist. The beginning of every office visit summary starts out like this:
“The patient is a pleasant middle aged woman….”
Excuse me? But how did that happen?
Perhaps the reality that at 38 I am, apparently both ‘pleasant’ and ‘middle aged’, is what led me to enjoy The Monk Downstairs so much. The New York Times Book Review describes it as such:
“A tender, witty novel in which a former monk, after twenty years in his order, rents an apartment from a 38 year old single mother; the ensuing relationship grows cautiously, taking account the prudence required of struggling people who aren’t going to get that many more chances.”
See anything that might appeal to moi? Monks, motherhood, spiritual crisis, being 38…
Even if you have less in common with this characters than I do, you will still find this to be a well executed novel with real, flawed, loveable characters and everyday life experiences that just might help you feel companioned for a journey. I’m especially fond of Mike’s struggle to rebuild his spiritual practices after a crisis of religion. (Gee Rachelle, really?) And I was equally touched by Rebecca’s final acceptance that she must experience grief over the crisis moments in her life (ex husbands, bad dates, aging parents.) Author Tim Farrington writes of Rebecca:
She had never allowed herself to grieve wholly before, she realized now. … some pragmatic, self-protective sense had told her that grief was bottomless. Skirting this sea, she had dipped her toes in; she’d wondered what would happen if she crossed the line, but it had always seemed that it could only be a kind of defeat, a drowning, a death. And so it was. But maybe it was not the end, to be defeated by life. Maybe that is even part of what it meant to be a human being; to recognize ways in which death had come, to stop looking away from the failures of love, and to grieve.
Then there is also this great bit from Mike, in which he spots a little bit of wisdom at his first-time-out-of-the-cloister job and records it in a letter to a former brother monk:
..or as my colleagues at McDonald’s put it, “My bad.” I’m sorry I dissed you….The ritual response to a penitential “My bad,” incidentally, is a benevolent, “It’s all good.” The drama of Christ’s forgiveness is reenacted a dozen times a day over the deep fryer and the grill, by teenagers, with refreshing succinctness.
Lest you think this novel is all heaviness, be not afraid! Mike is funny, Rebecca is droll, her daughter is sweet and hilarious, and the sex…we’ll the NY Times Book review is a bit off there because it is neither cautious nor prudent, but pretty damn hot. (Not for the prudish of heart.)
Special kudos to Tim Farrington for writing the character of Rebecca so well. About half way through the novel I thought “Wow. This female character is really spot-on. Who wrote this?” When I turned the book cover over I was surprised to see it was written by a man–so convinced was I that a sister must have created Rebecca’s reality. Props, Tim!
Today’s Flavor: Bittersweet, romantic, and real.
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Wednesday Review: The Care and Keeping Of You- The Body Book for Girls
The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls
Valorie Lee Schaefer
When I bought the kids second-hand American Girl dolls, the Dad of the teen who sold me the dolls said, “I warn you, this doll is a gateway drug.” He couldn’t have been more right, and by Christmas I was drowning in a stack of AG catalogs.
While the girls haven’t become AG users, they are big fans of American Girl’s line of books. In addition to the decently written historical novels, AG also offers a line of great growing-up advice books. This week what with all the flap about Miley Cyrus’ portrait by Annie Lebowitz for Vanity Fair, combined with the great discussion going in the comments on my post Why I’m not teaching Abstinence to my Kids, I thought I’d review a book about growing-up bodies.
American Girl’s The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls is an excellent reference guide for a growing girl. Written in a simple, friendly style The Care & Keeping of You gives kids the details they long for in a way that communicates “it’s not gross, it’s your really cool body!” Author Valerie Scharfer covers the obvious concerns—zits, period, and bras (or the lack thereof)—as well as broader concepts about size, mind/body connection, and the way physical changes can effect emotions. Even things a grown up might think of as insignificant, like how to get gum out of your hair, get straight forward solutions,
The publisher says this book is for ages 9-12, and some of the information may be more than younger children want to know. For instance, there’s a pretty detailed cartoon/line-drawing illustration of a girl using a tampon, and girls in the drawings are pictured nude and anatomically correct. My oldest daughter needs a lot of reconnaissance before she moves into a new area, so we got her this book when she was 8 years old and started asking questions about ‘becoming a teenager.’ She had it for about an hour before she came bounding down the stair saying things like, “Mom, did you know you get you period about two years after your breast buds appear?” (No, actually, I did not. That would have been really helpful to know back in the day.) So far, she’s feeling really confident about the changes ahead, and proud of her growing body.
Other good books in this line include The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions, which pretty much saved our lives though the drama that was third grade; A Smart Girl’s Guide to Starting Middle School; and A Smart Girl’s Guide to Money. Today’s Flavor: Knowledge is Power.
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Wednesday Review: 100 Graces
100 Graces: Mealtime Blessings
Marcia & Jack Kelly
My daughter Cate has always been a pray-er. When she was a toddler she saw “Jesus giving the butterflies food.” She’s never turned back.
We have a family ritual at dinner time of lighting the candles and saying a prayer. This year, for Christmas, Cate got 100 Graces: Mealtime Blessings in her stocking. Now, with the allure of so many choice in such a tiny book, even her sister who is less sold on the whole idea wrangles for a chance to say the dinner time prayer.
100 Graces: Mealtime Blessingsis a simple book:one page, one prayer. It’s ecclectic, multifaith and offers a little something for everyone. Cate’s current favorite:
“Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.” -Abraham Joshu Heschel
and my current preference:
“O God, bless this food we are about to recieve. Give bread to those who hunger; and hunger for justice to us who have bread.” -a prayer from Nicaragua
Today’s Flavor: An easy ‘Amen.’
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Wednesday Review: Prayers for Children
Give Me Grace: A Child’s Daybook of Prayers
Cynthia Rylant
Last Fall we went on the Goodbye Cousin’s Tour of Ought-Eight. While we were at my sister’s visiting this adorable nephew (and all the other cute bébés) Cate ordained herself ‘official reader to anyone under six.” Even though she has long outgrown board books, Cate was totally charmed by this pretty one and read it over and over to her two year old cousin. Then, she unabashedly pled with her Auntie Becky to get it for her for Christmas, and low and behold, Give Me Grace arrived via the UPS man. (Who, according to my kids, “is better than Santa!”)
Author-illustrator Cynthia Rylant has beautifully illustrated this sweet book in a style that is not child-ish, but certainly child friendly. When I read it with Cate during morning cuddle time, I enjoy the artwork as much as much as she does. We often flip though the pages find our favorite colorful pages. Cate reads Give Me Grace every night and every morning, though truthfully she no longer needs to book as she memorized the whole thing within a week. There’s a lilting prayer for each day and I can get behind the sentiment in each one – which is rare for me to experience in religious books, especially those written for children! My favorite prayer is for Wednesday:
Wednesday make me full of light
Guide my heart both day and night
Give me gladness, give me grace,
Shine your love upon my face.
Who wouldn’t embrace that as an intentional for the day? Thanks, Cynthia. Today’s Flavor: Colorful and Hopeful.
P.s. another one of my kid’s favorite books by Rylant is the sweet, reminiscent When I Was Young in the Mountains
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Wednesday Review: One Thousand White Women
One Thousand White Women: The Journals of May Dodd
Jim Fergus
I’ve been caught up in historical fiction lately and find myself reading novel after novel of life in another era. It started with the life of Mary Todd Lincoln (reviewed here), segued into the guilty-pleasure of The Other Boleyn Girl, and recently landed in Indian Territory with One Thousand White Women.
Set in the late 1800’s One Thousand White Women is told in the voice of Mary Dodd, a woman from the Chicago business class who is unjustly committed to an insane asylum for living in a common law marriage with a working-class man. To escape the torturous life of the asylum, she agrees to be married to an Indian chief as part of a massive wedding-cum-peace treaty between the American government and the Cheyenne nation. The bulk of the book follows her experience living with the tribe in the final year of Cheyenne independence.
Although author Jim Fergus insists quite clearly in the prologue that this is almost entirely a work of fiction, his characters are so finely realized that readers continue to believe that Mary Dodd’s story is historically true. From the first pages of Mary’s journal, you are swept up into the story of a woman you’d like to know, and a life you can hardly imagine. Politically clever, spiritually astute, and carefully told, One Thousand White Women is an adventurous and inspiring tale of marginalized people working hard to find a place of freedom. Today’s Flavor: A history lesson from a creative mind.
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Wednesday Review: Good Cookin’
The lovely Elaine Eppler and I have developed quite an online crush. We surf back and forth to each other’s blogs, looking for a something delightful to brighten our day, or to find out what the other was up to the previous weekend.
Elaine has three blogs: Closely Observed always moves me towards gratitude; The Edible Balcony Garden inspires me to get creative about green living in an urban setting; and Berries and Greens gives us all a sneak peek into the health-full world of professional nutritionists.
It’s National Nutrition Month (who knew!) and Elaine is hosting a series of interviews about food attitudes over at B&G. We had fun doing an interview together via email, and she has it posted now. Hop over there and give it a look-see.
To celebrate our blogaffair (and of course National Nutrition Month) I’ve reviewed my favorite cook books for Wednesday Review.
Happy (and Healthy) Eating!
The New Moosewood Cookbook
The New Enchanted Broccoli Forest
Mollie Katzen
When I was 18 I moved out of state to attend college, and suddenly realized that my cooking repertoire didn’t go much past chocolate chip cookies and grilled cheese. True, I had helped my family cook dinners, but always as prep chef, never in a primary role. We were required to purchase a meal program at the school, but the food was so bad that the only thing you could eat was the quesadillas and the salad bar. This crisis of bad taste, plus the political fever most college students seem to catch, quickly converted me to vegetarianism and Mollie’s cookbooks became my guides.
From the The Moosewood Cookbook came a bevy of soup recipes, especially the veggie-rich Gypsy Soup and her never fail Minestrone. My books are on a slow ship from Seattle right now, but I’m pretty sure this is the cookbook with Montana Mama’s ricotta cheese cake with a lush, baked sour cream topping. It defines ‘decadent.’ And her chocolate brownies (with or without espresso) are also delish. There are handy tips for the beginner chef, including how to slice and dice various kinds of fruits and veggies. Without Molly, I still wouldn’t know how to section an orange.
The Enchanted Broccoli Forest offers the same kind of hearty, healthy goodness (all of Katzen’s recipes feed a good-sized crew.) In graduate school ours favorite thing to do was to host dinner parties and I often made the Indian Lentils with coconut and green apples. My former housemate Heidi swore by the broccoli casserole.
These aren’t the cookbooks to turn to when you’re in a rush. But if you’ve got time to dice awhile, either one of these charming, hand lettered cookbooks will keep you inspired with year round veggie goodness. Today’s Flavor: Hearty and Healthy.
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Wednesday Review: Books that Could Change Your Life, Survival Parenting
Some people are natural parents. The children arrive, by blood or by adoption, and some deep seated knowledge kicks in.
I am not one of those people.
When my daughter final arrived, after a string of pregnancy disasters and difficulties, I found myself to be completely out of my depth. In infancy, I couldn’t tell whether a cry was for hunger or for tiredness. The hormones stew of pregnancy, delivery, and nursing left be adrift in depression. And when my next daughter unexpectedly arrived, leaving me home with two children aged two-and-under, I realized I disliked nearly all of the everyday tasks of parent (cooking, cleaning, dealing with toddler temper tantrums, endless hours of make believe…) In short, I felt like a TOTAL LOSER.
Thank God for these authors, who gave me companionship, laughter, and not a small amount of good advice for the journey. Give this collection as shower gifts, and your friends will love you forever. Or, stock your own shelves if you’re preparing for the onslaught of parenthood.
The Three-Martini Playdate: A practical guide to happy parenting
Christie Mellior
Already, you love the title, yes? Mellior’s basic premise that you were here first, and children should be seen only if they can be ever-so-helpful as to help Mommy pass out the cocktail napkins and crudities. Here’s an excerpt from the opening chapter:
Gone are the days when a small person of tender age would do as he or she was asked, good naturedly and obediently, and the rest of the time would sit quietly reading or practicing a simple cross stitch…One wasn’t required to transport the little children hither and tither, here to T-ball practice, there to a “playdate,” may the chipper mommy who coined that particular term forever rot in a hell of eternally colicky babies….
Let us be perfectly frank. You were here first. You are sharing your house with them, your food, your time, your books. Somewhere, in fairly recent memory, we have lost sight of that fact.
Oh, I hope you are ever so much in love! No one helped me take my parenting gig less seriously–something I was in deep need of after too many months of reading up on what to expect. So click here, and in a few days you could be sipping your favorite thing-made-with-gin with my soulsister and me. Cheers! Today’s Flavor: Pass the vodka.
The Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving The First Year of Motherhood
Vicki Iovine
I like taking advice from former playboy models who have four children in six years (no, none of them are twins.) For instance, in regards to the many children, Iovine suggests not mixing red wine and your husband’s birthday. (Good point!)
Anyone with a sense of humor will enjoy this no-nonsense, practical, “we’ve been there” advice – including how to detect being postpartumish, a terrific term to help your friend identify when you need help with the post-delivery hormone stew. All of Iovine’s parenting books are helpful, but the first two: Pregnancy and First Year are are top notch. Today’s Flavor: Helps you out without stressing you out.
Operating Instructions
Anne Lamott
If you are a regularly reader of Magpie Girl, you already know that Anne is my priestess. My dear friend Wendy–mother of the adorable Rees, who we fully plan on marrying off to Eden–gave me this book shortly after the birth of my second child. More poetic than my other recommendations, but still deeply funny, Lamott’s story of adjusting to being the single mother to a baby boy is told with refreshing, and sometimes shockingly honesty. Once again, consumate story teller Lamott becomes an essential traveling companion, this time for those of us on the parenting road. Today’s Flavor: Real, with a touch of funny.
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Books That Could Change your Life: The Religious Awakening List
Way back in January, I began a list of Wednesday Reviews focusing on books that have changed my life–and which just might change yours. I started with the Artist’s List, moved on to the Feel Better List, then got waylaid just after the Budding Feminist List. Now I’m back to offer you the last two installments: Religious Awakening and Survival Parenting (next Wednesday). Thanks for hanging in there with me…and remember, any purchases made by clicking on the embeded links help support this website. Here’s to brave new worlds!
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Shortly after being ordained as an evangelical minister, I became almost entirely disenchanted with the world of church. The church wanted me to debate people into conversion; I want to dialogue with people about life. The church wanted me to de-bunk all other religions; I wanted to learn from their holy stories. The church wanted me to entertain people on Sunday morning; I wanted to host a banqueting table heavy on the bread, wine, and storytelling. The church wanted a water-tight system of belief; I wanted a way of living that recognized everyday moments as holy.
I spent a lot of time at staff meetings blathering on about these things while my co-workers looked at me with concern. Then I read these books, held the hand of their authors, and gleefully jumped off the diving board and into the deep end of generous faith.
The Story We Find Ourselves In
The Last Word (and the Word after That)
If you are a traditional church-goer who has felt kind of squirmy at Sunday morning services lately, I strongly suggest dipping into this trilogy. McLaren presents emerging/post-modern theology in the form of a fictional conversation between two friends—a pastor and a science teacher/philosopher. McLaren doesn’t claim to be an accomplished fiction writer, but his technique here makes these books easier to read than most religious texts.
were the unofficial required reading for the spiritual growth community I used to host. They’ve been a life line to the many ‘recovering evangelicals’ who have walked through our door. A New Kind of Christian breaks things open. The Story We Find Ourselves In ourselves In re-defines the Bible as a descriptive family story (as opposed to a prescriptive rule book). The Last Word (and the Word after That) tackles the concept of hell.
I would consider McLaren’s approach to be gently progressive; fundamentalists will hate it, but it’s great for the Jesus-y person who is deconstructing their faith in the hope of finding something at the center that’s worth holding on to. Read bravely. Today’s Flavor: Scratches where it itches.
The Spiral Staircase
Karen Armstrong
From her life as a young nun to her current role as an interfaith expert, academic Karen Armstrong The Spiral Staircase tells her story of journeying through faith and reason. Her tale spirals through faith, disillusionment, enlightenment, and back again, with each turn bringing her new understanding and depth. Most known for the popular texts A History of God and The Battle for God, in Spiral Staircase Armstrong uses a different voice to tell her own complex and very personal story. I’ve already marked up one copy, given it away, and started re-reading another. A well written memoir from one of today’s top scholars. Today’s Flavor: Find yourself on every tread.
The Power of Myth
Joseph Campbell
Okay, so it’s not a book, but he has written plenty of them. The Power of Myth DVD series, Joseph Campbell’s theories on comparative religious studies are broken into bite sized bits for those of us who aren’t pursuing an advanced degree. I’ve only begun watching this amazing collection of lectures, quotes, and images – but already I know it will be a pivotal item in my transformational tool kit. The late Joseph Campbell was one of the most respected scholars in his field, and his work is amplifying this voice in my head that’s telling me “All truth is God’s Truth”—no matter what package it comes wrapped in. Today’s Flavor: Expand you mind without over straining your brain.
Find more great reads and other stuff I like at Magpie Reviews.
Wednesday Review: Books that Could Change Your Life, The Budding Feminist List
You would think that a west coast girl born in ’69 would have naturally grown up to be quite the competent feminist. After all, I lived my childhood in the hippie enclave of Santa Cruz, came of age in Berkeley, and spent my college years running an underground press at my stuffy university. Still, I grew up in the church – the evangelical church, to be specific – and those of us who grew up in that particular commune tend to be a bit behind the curve when it comes to feminine enlightenment.
Then, in my late twenties and early thirties, I started raising children – girl children. At the same time I became an ordained minister in a denomination that did not widely welcome my presence. Throw in a few bumps in the road on both of those adventures, add a few fortuitous few books, and viola! A feminist awakening to beat the band!
Does your feminist-self need a shot in the arm? You could adopt a couple of girls, try your hand at being a pastor in an evangelical church….or you could just click on one of the titles below. (I highly recommend the latter option!)
Yours in the Journey,
Rachelle
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Ten years ago, Anita Diamant cracked open the story of Jacob; uncovered his only surviving daughter Dinah; dusted her off and brought her back to life. I could go on, but Gail Hudson says it best in her endorsement:
“Like any sisters who live together and share a husband, my mother and aunties spun a sticky web of loyalties and grudges,” Anita Diamant writes in the voice of Dinah. “They traded secrets like bracelets, and these were handed down to me the only surviving girl. They told me things I was too young to hear. They held my face between their hands and made me swear to remember.” Remembering women’s earthy stories and passionate history is indeed the theme of this magnificent book. In fact, it’s been said that The Red Tent is what the Bible might have been had it been written by God’s daughters, instead of her sons. –Gail Hudson
The idea of my spiritual ancestors preserving the stories women told, giving account to the happenings of their world through a woman’s eyes , has changed my understanding of my God, my vocation and my holy text. I wrote some about it here, and there’s a peek at my reaction here. If something in you is hungry for your great mother’s tales, spend some time in the The Red Tent. Today’s Flavor: exotic and holy.
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine
The Secret Life of Bees
Sue Monk Kidd
Sue Monk Kidd’s novel The Secret Life of Beescracked open my imagination with its story of three sisters who craft their own ceremony to honor a sacred image of the feminine divine. (Here’s just one ritual that came out of that wonderful story.) But it was her autobiographical text, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, which gave me the companionship I needed to find my own way to the feminine heart of God.
The wife of a Southern Baptists preacher, Kidd risked marriage, career, and her place in her community in order to follow her own inner authority into a broader, more inclusive reality of faith, personhood, and deity. While her journey took her to a place different than my own, I was much comforted and emboldened by her story. She was a wonderful traveling companion, and I found myself underlining something on nearly every page. This has now become one of those books that is forever being loaned out to a seeking friend, and I will always be grateful for Kidd’s brave journey of discovery. Today’s Flavor:A great dancing partner.
What book(s) helped you move along the road to a feminist awakening?
Wednesday Review: Books that Could Change Your Life, The Feel Better List
There’s nothing like New Year’s Eve to bring out a bunch of resolutions. Because I’ve been unwell since 2003 (migrianes), my resolutions over the past few years have centered around this idea: “Feel Better.”
Maybe one of these books will help you find a feel better place in 2008. Here’s to the hopeful!
-Rachelle
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Intuitive Eating
Evelyn Trioble and Elyse Resch
How many diet books have you read in your life time? I think my list starts with my mother’s copy of More of Jesus, Less of Me –which I copped from my Mom when I was in 8th grade — and continues through The WeighDown Workshop, 8 Minutes in the Morning, You, on a Diet, The Maker’s Diet, and The Fat Flush Diet — some of which have only recently left the shelves of my personal library.
Last year after a failed attempt at Weight Watchers, I hit my 38th birthday and decided that I’d spent enough of my life obsessing about my weight/body/what I ate. At the ripe old age of 38, I gave up dieting for good and decided to start loving my body.(I’m a slow learner.) The catalyst? Intuitive Eating.
This is book that must be consumed slowly, so you can unlearn old habits and adopt intutivley helpful ways of thinking about food and nutrition. The assingnments take time, but are well worth the resulting mental and emotional reprogramming. For the first time I am eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full, and balancing out at a size my body is comfortable with. Within weeks of begining Intuitive Eating, I stopped feeling guilty about food ,and now I can eat anything guilt free. For the first time this year, I didn’t even THINK of making a resolution that involved losing weight! It’s a small miracle.
P.s. If you are stocking your bookshelves on the topic, Women I Respect have also recommended Eating Mindfully and Slow Food Revolution: A New Culture for Eating and Living. Check ‘em out!
Heal Your Headache: The 1-2-3 Program for Taking Charge of Your Pain
Dr. David Buchholz
When my husband handed me this book in our local shop, I pretty much rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat. After years of tyring everything under the sun to get rid of my migraines, I had pretty much resolved to live with pain for the rest of my life. I thought I knew everything there was to know about migraines and migraine meds — but after just a few pages of Heal Your Headache I’d discovered things none of my dozen-odd medical practioners had ever told me. Intially I was terrified of step one, getting off pain medications and most other meds. But within six weeks I was no longer dependent on pain meds or meds like immitrex, and I had discovered hidden trigger foods that no one had mentioned to me before. My migraines dropped from everyday, to 2-7 per month. After getting them down to this more manageable level, a good atlas chiropractor (we like to call him “Dr. Woo Woo”) got rid of the rest of my headache pain and desensitized me from most of my trigger foods. Now I only have the occasional break through headache — and this after five solid years of headache pain! Believe me, this book is worth taking a chance on!
What books help you Feel Better?
Next Week: books for the Budding Feminist.
