Every Friday this Fall is Ask Magpie Girl!

Being interviewed is my favorite way of engaging the teaching-learning process. I’d love to give you a little nugget of soulcoaching goodness to round out your week. So ask away! I’m happy to consider questions about anything that’s tickled your fancy here at Magpie Girl. Maybe you want some help raising soulful kids, creating a customize-blend of soulcare practices, or living more intentionally. Or perhaps you’re just super curious and want to know more about why I left church, how I got addicted to Art, or what my day to day life is as a mom, chronic pain survivor, and soulcoach here in Seattle. Just stash your question in the comments,  I’m happy to help!

This week’s question is part of an interview I’m doing for Kate Swoboda’s new program, The Coaching Blueprint. The Coaching Blueprint helps new and emerging life coaches develop their practices. It’s really well priced, so even if you are just considering coaching it’s a great resource as you explore your options. (Click here to learn more.)

Kate Asks: “What inspired you to become a Life Coach?”

Magpie’s Response: After 35 years of church life and more than a decade as a religious professional, I discovered quite suddenly that the rituals, habits, and beliefs of church were no longer working for me. As I moved through that shocking disconnect, I found myself deconstructing my religious history and reconstructing new practices that accurately reflected my evolving belief system. As a formerly ordained minister I had a background in spiritual direction, so I decided to blend spiritual direction and life coaching to become what I call a Soulcoach. Now I work with clients to help them create right-fit spiritual practices for themselves and their families. I love to watch you light up when you realize you can have a soulful life that is respectfully rooted in your history, creative in its current expression, and most of all, authentically yours!

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How about you Magpie? What led you into your current calling – paid or otherwise? We’d love to hear about your path to passion! Let us know in the comments, or ask your next question and we’ll see you next week at Ask Magpie Girl.

Ask Magpie Girl: 7 Ways to Find Time for Creativity from Rachelle Mee-Chapman on Vimeo.

Neato Things Rachelle Mentions in this Video:

• My free course, Magpie Speak: a new vocabulary for soulcare. (Feedback from this course inspired this post. I  LOVE responding to Magpie Girl readers’ questions!)
• Work-at-Home mom and creative business woman Tara Gentile of Scoutie Girl records a video post “How I Get it All Done – 3 Tips for finding more time.”  (Originally posted at Perideau Designs.)
• Rowena Murillo of Warrior Girl gets an impressive amount of creative work done in snippets — and this inspite of working a part-time(?) job and being a Warrior Mama.
• Stacy de la Rosa has a baby, a toddler and a creative business. She wrote about  how she does it at her blog, Bella Wish.

And the Questions We Need YOU to Answer (pretty please.)

• What are your biggest roadblocks to creative pursuits?
• How do you find time to pursue your creative projects?
• What sticking points can the Magpies help you past?

Don’t miss your chance to Train with Magpie Girl. Catch all my training posts, watch the video posts, and sign-up on my mailing list for advance sign-up opportunities and special discounts. (Top of the column, stage right.) Thanks for being here!

Jamie called me up for a Creative Living  interview a few weeks ago. We had a great time chatting about making space for creativity; the connection between art and spirituality; and the all-important power of failure. I also introduce my new phrase –”managing the crazy. ”

The interview is now edited and up as a free listen over at Jamie’s place so just click here.

Thanks so much for being here!

A few months back I was honored to give an interview at Kristin Tennant’s excellent blog, Halfway to Normal. (I LOVE being interviewed!) Kristin asked such good questions, I thought I’d run it again here for folks who want to know more about the process behind Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl. I hope you enjoy it. And do stop by Halfway to Normal, where Kristin is  ”Daily defying what it means to be a divorced-Christian-liberal-remarried-Midwestern-mommy-writer.”

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How did you come up with the idea for Flock?

I’ve been a soulcare provider and community builder for many, many years. Two years ago we moved to Copenhagen, Denmark, and a consistent community base has been hard to come by. I miss having a physical soultribe to turn to, and in its absence I am grateful for the online tribe that has formed around me while I lived abroad. I am fan of Ecourses, but wanted something that was more ongoing, something where we could all sink a little deeper into relationship with others. So I decided to try forming an online soultribe.

Flock has several components. Did they all come to you at once, or did the idea begin as a specific component and then grew from there?

Everything I offer in the Flock has emerged organically from topics and practices that have been in embryo at Magpie Girl. I wanted to start with the High Holy Days, to provide an anchoring rhythm to our seasons. The Ask an Expert feature emerged out of the guest interviews I’d been organizing at Magpie Girl. The rites and rituals in Priestessy Things are part of the work I’ve done ever since my days as the Urban Abbess. And the Read-a-Longs…well, who amongst us doesn’t have a stack of books they’d like to talk about with their friends? You know that saying, “Nothing is ever wasted”? I’m finally seeing the truth of that as my seemingly random blogging matures into what is now being offered at Flock. Someone recently said to me, “At Magpie Girl, you feed us great stuff, but the Flock is where the real meat and potatoes happen.”

You have been blogging and interacting with readers for a long time. Are you able to pick up on certain questions and needs that lots of people seem to have? How did those themes translate to the creation of Flock?

Oh yes! The more I live in the blogosphere the more I notice recurring themes and questions among the women I read and follow, and who read and follow me. There’s a deep longing for a non-institutionalized expressing of spirituality. There’s also this intuitive need to tell our stories, which I think is intertwined with the outpouring of photography, mixed media art, fabric art, and poetry that is flooding the web. And there is a desire to have withmates on the journey. Perhaps that is the deepest felt need of all. I truly feel that is why the Flock has come into being.

Language around spirituality can be so confining, and can easily box us in. Was it difficult to find the right way to talk and write about what Flock is?

Flock is a pretty unique approach and concept, so we are letting the language around it develop as we go. I’m guessing that our description of Flock will remain fluid and evolve as we live out a life together. That’s why I didn’t include a tagline in the header. Right now we are using “soulcare spa” because it expresses nurture. And the “nesting place” concept is because so many of my Magpie Girl readers kept expressing the need to find a place to call home. Hospitality and a generous spirit are dominate values for me, and that’s what “soulcare” and “nesting” communicate to me.

Why do you believe things like rituals and creativity are integral to spirituality?

Mmmm. I couldn’t get by without rituals! To me, rituals access an un-seeable reality and make it physical, tangible.This helps us process and experience numinous things in a more full-bodied way. I also think rituals help us embed positive messages into our be-ings. They integrate important truths about ourselves and our living into our bodies and minds.

Creativity, to me, is at the heart of the Divine. In the Jewish and Christian tradition, it is the first thing we learn about God: “In the beginning, God created…” When we access our creative selves, we touch the Divine within us and reach out to the Divine beyond us. It’s also a HUGE part of accessing the Feminine Divine, or womanly aspects of God, because birth and procreation is so heavily weighted towards the feminine. (Plus being creative is fun. Don’t you think? “Why so serious?” I like fun!)

Why do you think people end up leaving churches/more organized forms of religion?

Often it is because they cannot be their fullest, truest selves within an organization that demands acquiescence to a creed. It’s hard to sign on 100 percent to someone else’s charter for living. In many organized religions there is a lot of assessing one’s “walk” and judging one’s practices. That’s hard to live under. And if you disagree with your pastor or small group leader, you have to remain silent or your belonging is jeopardized. If you cannot live your most open, truest self, you do damage to your soul. Some organized religious bodies avoid this. But it can be very hard to find.

Is Flock very flexible and customizable? What if a person doesn’t have lots of time, or doesn’t know for sure what they believe about God, or doesn’t see themselves as particularly creative?

Flock is very flexible in regards to time. There are several practices—and even variations on each practice—each month. There’s no pressure to do all of them. Think of yourself as a kid in a candy shop. You get to choose! You can stop by every day and visit in the chat rooms, read an article, listen to a podcast, or write about some concept you are chewing on. Or you could just visit on the weekends and get some nurture for the week ahead.

Some of the things we offer do involve the concept of God in a general way. And we also work with the idea of spirituality in general, and with the idea of connecting with the power of the Universe, or the created Order. And there is no guilt-based teaching or “bad sinner” ideology.

I love art-based spiritual practices, and there will be quite a bit of that in the Flock. But you don’t have to be an artist, or even be particularly creative to get involved. Honest.

You say Flock is “dedicated to finding a spirituality that fits.” What is your philosophy on this, and why is helping others in this area so important to you?

I spent a lot of years wearing religious clothes that didn’t really fit me. I kept trying to hitch them up with a belt, squeeze into them sideways, or hold them together with safety pins. But ultimately, I realized I had outgrown some of them, and that my style had also changed. Deconstructing my religious and spiritual beliefs was a challenging, brave, and sometimes scary task.

I see a lot of people (men and women) doing that same deconstruction process. Often they get stuck at the deconstruction stage and never manage to reconstruct something that suits them better.They remain hungry for some sort of spiritual practice, disillusioned and discouraged. I think that if we as ministers, spiritual directors, and soulcare providers are going to encourage people to think creatively about their beliefs, and possibly deconstruct them, then we are responsible for helping people reconstruct them as well. I have a passion for walking with the people who are in that process. It really stirs my soul.

That being said,  I did get a couple of comments questioning my decision to charge for my work. I feel these are honest questions, coming out of a place of true frustration. So I want to address them this week at Magpie Girl. This was the most complete query:

“I guess I am a little confused at why exactly I have to pay for knowledge. I am sure there is a good explanation. I just feel like people are trying to take money everywhere. At what price? If the people have come to it. This information is important and with everyone, everywhere raising prices and asking for a buck, shouldn’t those of us who wish to be inspired past looking at the all mighty dollar all the time and to what is really important, doesn’t it seem wrong to have to pay for it? Just saying….”

Here are my answers:

1. The work I do at Magpie Girl and Flock is, in fact, my work. It’s not my hobby, it’s my profession. I’ve been providing soulcare and support to artists and spiritual misfits since 1998. I have a master’s degree and everything. I’m passionate about my work, and it is what I do for a living.Most people who show up at their office received a paycheck. I would like to do the same.

2. It’s not sustainable for me to keep working for free. There is a lot of energy that goes into the work I do. Every blog post takes 1-5 hours to research and write. I spend about 30 hours a week writing content. I think about the work I do here, at Flock, and via email all the time. A lot of mental, emotional, and creative energy goes into the efforts made here. I need to honor that by asking for an equitable exchange of energy from you, my lovely compatriots. Does that mean I’m on an eye-for-an-eye warpath?  No! Not at all. I’m just trying to find the right balance of energetic give-and-take so that I can keep doing what I do in the long-range, sustainable future.

3. It’s not wrong to pay for products and service that have value to you. If you are an artist, counselor, freelancer, or small business owner you really must request fair pay for your work if you want to do the work long term. Does that mean you can never offer a student discount, or a free trial, or give an item away as a gift? Of course not. I do it all the time. Too much, probably. But please understand, it’s not a sacred exchange between us if it always only goes one way.

4. There are expenses to be covered. That free cookbook? I had to hire a designer to get that done.  Ditto for getting Flock off the ground. And even with this simple blog there are hosting fees and design costs. So far I haven’t made a salary or even covered my expenses. (My husband says, please can we improve this situation. :-)

5. It takes time, effort, and special skills to get this product finished. While the information I dispense is widely available from The Universe, I do the work to get it to you in digestible form. Sure, seeds are available and you could grow your own food — if you had the land, the tools, and the know-how.  But if you don’t have those things, you have to buy the apple at the market. The advice, lessons, and general inspiration I offer here is the result of many, many hours of distillation effort. I did not just pluck it out of the sky. It took a lot of work. And it’s the effort, not the universally held knowledge itself, that I am requesting compensation for.

So that’s a little bit about why I am starting to offer both “free” and “fee-based” work. As Magpie Girl under goes her re-vamp, there will still be plenty of free offerings, especially if you are on my mailing list. And I’ll also be offering various levels of training with me–from a few dollars a week for light support, to a more gym-like fee for on-going training  and nurture. Don’t worry loves, there will always be a place (and price) for you here at Magpie Girl.

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The Thank You Section: Survey Monkey is really cool, and the basic service is free, for which I thank them. Thanks also to Jen Louden, who mentioned in an interview that she used surveys to match her offerings to her reader’s needs. And thanks to to Mark at The Heart of  Business who helped me to tune into my intutition and know when to stick to my pricing guns, and when to give a little. And thank you for being here!

There’s nothing I love more than being interviewed. (Narcissist much?) So it’s time for Ask Magpie! This week Kate of Phlog blog asks via Twitter:

What is one (or eight) thing(s)  (food, culture, social phenomenon, etc) about Denmark that you can’t experience anywhere else?

If you’ve been reading my occasional Immigrant Diaries, or if you’ve popped over to our little blog-for-the-grandparents, you know that life in Denmark has been a bit of mixed bag.  We are culturally lonely, and the weather strains our tolerance resources. But other than that, there is a lot we like about living in Denmark. The pace of life is slower, there is more time for our family, and life without a car is healthier and less harried. 

Most of these things are indicative of  European life in general. But there are some special things that you cannot do anywhere but Denmark. Here are *8Things in Copenhagen. Come on by and experience some.

1. Tivioli Gardens: This is one of the oldest amusement parks in Europe, and the place that inspired a little someone named Walt Disney. It’s especially charming at Jule when the entire park is wrapped in colorful lights and warmed with glowing red charcoal braziers.

2. The Art of Hygge: In Denmark if something is “hygge” it’s warm, inviting and fun. If your dinner guests say they’ve had a hyggliet time, it means you did a wonderful job lighting the candles, picking the guests, and preparing the meal. In Scotland “the crack is good,” in Denmark you have “a hyggliet time.”

3. Canal Boats: You can ride canal boats elsewhere, but will they take you past the Little Mermaid? Take a canal ride through Nyhavn, the “new harbor” (new in this case meaning roughly1600′s), sail past the Fishmonger’s Wife, and stop for beer along the waterfront.

4. A Postmodern Wonder: Part brick-and-leather history, part modern edifice the Royal Library on the Copenhagen waterfront is a seamless example of postmodern architecture. I wish I could live there.

5. Nisser:  Leave out a bowl of porridge and a mug of beer on Christmas Eve or these mischievous red-capped creatures will burn down your barn instead of leaving you presents.

6. A Day of Silence: I don’t know any other culture where you can spend an entire day shopping — in real stores, not on line — and not speak to a single person. Chit chat is not a part of Danish culture. I’ve never experienced such a “closed circle” culture.

7. Juleøl: Do you get extra strong beer at Christmas and Easter? We do in Denmark! (Just be careful where you step on the sidewalks the day after the Juleøl is released!)

8. Spontaneous Street Parades: The Royal band marches every afternoon that the Queen is in residence, polse wagons hold up traffic, and the Clydesdales clomp down main street with the beer wagon in tow. You never know what’s going to happen in CPH.

What is one thing that is totally unique about where you live? Do tell us in the comments below. Or submit a question for me to answer next week at Ask Magpie.

These are emerging thoughts and I share them with not an un-small amount of trepidation. But they won’t leave me alone, these wonderings, and I need all the contributors to The Giant Pool of Wisdom to help me out.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately — off and on for years really — about this odd and wonderful bubble we live in. On good-humor days I think of it as something like “the women’s creative empowerment community.” I like it, this loose group of wonderful women who are finding their voice, expressing their creativity, and rebuilding their spirituality in the studio instead of the sanctuary. (Or as I like to think of it, the studio has become the sanctuary.) I love working in this milieu. I know, that I know, that I know these are my people. And nothing gives me more joy than teaching and learning in this world.

On cynical-humor days I think of myself as “the middle-class middle-aged white woman doing crafts.” Do you know what I mean? Kind of cushy, and whiney, and little bit frivolous. It makes me think of all those Jane Austen novels. How all the female characters embroidered, or did crewel work, or played the harpsichord. “The womanly arts,” they were called.  It was what women did when they weren’t allowed to do anything else. Correction, it was what privileged women did when then didn’t have to do anything else (and also, they weren’t allowed. A combination then.)  On cynical days I substitute “embroidery, crewel work, and harpsichord” with “mixed media collage, photography, and guitar lessons” and I feel a little–well, frivolous.

Then I get my feminist dander up and I remember that women’s work has always been downgraded. The most amazing intricate needle and tapestry work would be referred to as “craft” while oil paintings done in the all-male studios of yore were classified as “art.” Even now, women are severely under-represented in galleries and museums, as the film Who Does She Think She Is so passionately demonstrates. This distinction is still there — it’s changing, true — but it’s still there. And it bothers me.

But in addition to this feminist outrage, more than the slight discomfort I feel around my so-called cushy life, I am deeply bothered by the imbalance that I feel between two worlds I admire and desire: The introspective and necessary world of self-fulfillment and self-expression. And the equally necessary world of charity and social justice. I feel…unsatisfied…with the extent to which these two worlds intertwine. And I see other creative women trying to find a way to tie the two together as well. There are ripples out there, and rumors of another way. We are exploring. We are finding the connection.

It’s already so hard to make a living, to make your art, to raise your kids, to tell your story, and to be in a relationship. How can we possibly do any more?  (Throw in all these mysterious “women’s diseases” like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and migraines and it gets even harder.) And yet, and yet….

I guess it’s that I feel, YES, your story is important. Yes, you, white girl with the two kids and the minivan. You story, your creative dreams are essential to the universe. But so are our African sisters’, so are our Latina sisters’, so is every sisters’. And how do they find the strength to tell their stories, after a day of trying to make ends meet. How do we help? How do we partner?  How do we teach and learn from each other?

I keep thinking about Fredrick Beuchner’s famous quote about vocation from Wishful Thinking:

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Where is that place for me? For you? For the creative community of us — we, the ladies who art. Where is the seam that weaves together our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger?

In the excellent but now defunct television series Joan of Arcadia, God tells Joan that she has suffered from “a crisis of imagination.”  I think that might be it. In spite of all our creativity, I think we are suffering from a crisis of imagination. I think there is more.

Recently, I’ve been listening to Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, a freaking brilliant adaptation of the Jane Austen novel in which the characters do not practice “The Womanly Arts,” but rather are trained in “The Deadly Arts.” The art of combat. The art of defense. These are not little women. These are Warrior Girls. How can we be warrior girls for our sisters? How can champion their right to be in this world?

Really I have very little idea. But I know it’s always a good plan to take a step. It might not be the step that works out, but it will lead you to the next, and the next, until you find the path. So my step, right now, is to put both feet quite firmly on one particular stepping stone. I will announce that I have fallen in love with the Apparent Project, a program run by people I know and adore in Haiti. Through the Apparent Project, Shelley and Corrigan Clay, who are artists,  feed street kids, house kids who were forced to be left behind due to poverty, adopt orphans into their own family, and help women learn skills to support their families. I am head-over-heels with this small, grassroots program— in much the same way that I am in love with art. But I can you imagine me, the migraineur, in Haiti? No. Help. At. All.

So I will do what little I can. I will give ten percent of whatever profit I make this year – from my upcoming EBooks and Ecourses and whatever else might come my way—I will give ten percent of that profit to Haiti. And, whenever I can think of a way to encourage others to chip-in, through the A Year Without Clothes Pledge, or any other thing that crosses my path, I will do so. I will not have a crisis of imagination. I will learn to connect the dots.

It won’t be much. But perhaps this is the practice that will open the door, the rehearsal that will shine light on the solution to this hunger in my life. To be a mother, and an artist…and a warrior girl for others.

 Do you think we can find the way? Let’s jump.

Click here to contribute to the chip-in for the Apparent Project, or tell us your ideas in the comments below. Thank you for being here!

Two years ago I became enamoured with The Little Brown Dress Project by Seattle local Alex Martin. In a one-woman attempt to subvert the consumer hamster wheel of fashion, Alex made two identical brown dresses and wore them for one whole year. She layered in the winter, and stripped down in the summer, but the whole time she just wore just the one little brown dress.

The past 18 months I’ve been living in Copenhagen, Denmark, where the cost of living is roughly 30% above that of Seattle, which was already one of 10 most expensive cities in the U.S. Unlike Seattle there are no well-stocked affordable thrift stores, and new clothes are expensive. At home when you pay more for something you can usually count on better quality. But here more is just, more.

Because of this, I went on a shopping spree this Summer in Seattle. Target, thrift stores, Old Navy. Now I was stocked on the basics. When I got back to CPH I was confronted by two American TV ads on Hulu. One for a designer discount store in which the spokeswoman said “Just because times are tight out there doesn’t mean you should have to stop wearing designer labels!” The second was for Target and featured the new term “frugalistas” and designer Nina Garcia from Project Runaway. She encouraged an average- looking shopper to buy bright blue and pink jeans, because “This season denim is all about color.”

WTF?! People are in foreclosure and designer labels are a priority? Soccer moms need to buy jeans they won’t be caught dead in next year because “this season” demands a color we abandoned circa 1985?!

Look, beauty is a deep value of mine. I love self-expression, and I think clothing is one of the ways we differentiate ourselves to others. But this endless cycle of disposable clothing designed to last “this season” and be out the next, it is absolutely ridiculous. And as much as I adore Project Runway, I’m sorry sweetie but  fashion, at least as part of consumer wheel of fortune, is not going to change the world.

The madness must stop. So for this year, no new clothes. I have a good coat and boots, couple nearly-new black long sleeve t-shirts, jeans in two sizes (you know how it is), and enough socks and undies to last me the duration. I’m a little worried that my two-year-old sweater from Old Navy may not make it through the winter. But for the most part, I think I’m set. I just want to see what it’s like, to not be beholden to the trends of the “season,” to get off the hamster wheel and just make-do.

Thankfully there’s a new riff on The Little Brown Dress, The Uniform Project in which a black dress is serving as the “school uniform” for Sheena Matheiken for one whole year. Now, this women appears to have more clothes than god, but her point is a good one – clothing as self expression doesn’t have to follow the consumer code, it can play out side the box. I’m keeping tabs on her crazy get-ups in case my uniform starts to drive me crazy ’round about February.

I’d like to say that I’m diverting all my clothing expenses into a donation to some wonderful cause.  (They were really never that much to begin with. I hate shopping.) But alas, my daughter Eden grows about two inches a month and it’s all we can do to feed an clothe her right now. So Mom’s clothes money will become her clothes money. (Ay! The cost of winter footwear when you have no car in Nordica!) But I am donating a symbolic amount to my dear friend Shelley and Corrigan Clay in Haiti, who run the Apparent Project — an organization which tries to keep poor families together, and also runs an orphanage.

Regardless of the funds, I am curious to see what this will do for me. Will I become more determined to stick to my other goals as well? Will my core sense of self become stronger if I have to show up to some event in the “wrong” clothes? Will my creativity blossom as boredom sets in? Will I start an accessories exchange with far flung friends? Will I finally use my sewing machine to re-purpose clothes? We soon shall see!

Wanna play along? Stock up on undies and let’s do it!  Here’s the deal,

1. Stop buying on Buy Nothing Day (November 27th).
2. Buy no clothes for one year. 
3. Make up your own rules about if you can buy fabric, yarn, etc for re-purposing the things you have.
4. Make a symbolic donation to the Apparent Project to clothe some of the children living with Shelley and Corrigan in Haiti. (Chip In below — or pick a charity of your choice!)
5. Get ready to celebrate together on Thanksgiving 2010 with a gridblog about the experience

What say you? Anyone in?

I’m In! A Year Without Clothes!

You may already know that on Wednesdays I try to write a post filled with good tips and suggestions. But do you also know that I have a food blog? Yes Ma’am! My Seattle neighbors Katy K, Sarah and I feature all our favorite recipes over at Food Hero. We trend towards cookies and cocktails … because really, what else do you need? Sometimes, we cook real food. Here are some favorites from my part of the collection. So if you are wondering what to make for dinner tonight, Ask Magpie, she’ll tell ya.

Got something you’ve always been itchin’ to ask me? Go ahead! Post your query in the comments below. Ask me good questions, I’ll tell you no lies….

As I listened from a vaguely discreet distance, there was a tone in his voice and a certain lean to his body that I recognized. This particular combo is what he uses when he’s trying to convince someone that he’s doing what they want him to do. But it’s a little tricky because it’s also the tone and posture he uses when he’s trying something on for size—sort of sussing out if he really believes what he’s saying, seeing if what he’s thinking of is really a good fit for him. I like it when he does this. I think it’s really wise. It makes me proud.

Later he and I were able to talk this college thing out a bit over breakfast. (These things always go better over a breakfast burrito.) It became clear that while he’s aware that most of the parental-types in his life would like to see him in college at some point, he wasn’t just blowing smoke at us when he mentioned the college catalogs. He really is interested in the possibility of taking some course — he’s just not sure how to do college his own unconventional way. He doesn’t want to get trapped on some horrid jump-through-the-hoops, school-debt, hamster wheel from hell. In short, he’s trying to figure out how to make college work for him, instead of the other way around.

See, I told you he was smart.

This got me to thinking about all the courses I slogged through and hated, and all the books I bought and never used. It was a lot of waste. So here, in retrospect are my Magpie Girl’s Tips for College Courses.

 1. Take Eclectic Classes. At most schools you can attend “non-matriculated”-meaning you don’t have to be accepted into a specific program to take a course in the program. Use this to your advantage. Skip the pre-requisites as much as possible, and try out a handful of varied topics that intrigue you. (The 19yo’s short list? Math, Logic, Epistemology.)

2. Don’t Throw the Baby out with the Bath Water. The problem with first year classes, is that they are first-year classes. The prof is underpaid, half of his/her students don’t want to be there, and quite frankly, neither do they. NOT ALL CLASSES ARE LIKE THAT. Don’t give up. Try the one down the hall.

3. Don’t Buy the Books. If possible (and it will depend on the class) sit in on at least the first class session (or 2, or 3) before you buy the books. You want to be able to walk away with your bank account unscathed. If you can tell the class is the wrong fit for you early on, then you’ve saved yourself some money. Also, save your receipts. Selling books back at the end of the term will get you far less than half the price of what you paid for them in September. And try BigWords.com or Half.com for discounted textbooks.

4. Transfer. If you don’t like a class, change it. Understand your school’s rules about the deadlines for changing courses. You usually have a week or so to swap courses if you change your mind. Some schools let you change one or two courses for free, but even a small fee is better than a semester in a course that’s not right for you. At big schools pre-requisite freshmen courses are sometimes taught in multiple sessions with different lecturers or TA’s. Don’t like yours? Sit in on a different session and see if someone else is a little less sleep inducing.

5. Be Independent. If you parent’s can’t help you pay for college, consider filing for taxes as an independent. This will mean your parent’s can’t “claim” you on their taxes and won’t get to have you as a deduction, so talk it out with them. But if it’s just you and your McJob salary on the FASA application, you’ll probably get a better financial aid package.

6. Think about Community Colleges. If you travel off the beaten path, a straight-up four year school might not be for you. Back in the day, community colleges were called “Junior College” and had a “lesser than” stigma attached to them. Now, many Community Colleges are functioning like charter school, specializing in niche programs like graphic design, or early childhood education. Some are hidden gems, offering fine-tune training at lower prices and with less competition than the universities. They’re also a less expensive place to explore. Also, new professors often get their first gigs at community colleges and can shine with newbie enthusiasm.

7. Consider Non-Traditional Schools. Grade-free schools and/or those with self-designed programs like Reed College (Oregon) or Evergreen College (Washington) or UC Santa Cruz (California) are also great starting out, or transfer schools. Just because you don’t like structure doesn’t mean you won’t like college.

8. Do it Slow. There’s no need to go into debt and finish in four years. Part-time is fine—even preferable—as it gives you more time to build a resume, experiment with subjects you like, and earn-along. (So much more preferable than big loans! Remember, you may be a social worker and not a MBA when you’re done!)

In short, explore. You’re already on your path. Enjoy it!

What tips to do you have for college-aged kids young adults who don’t follow the beaten path? What do you wish you had a “do over” on from your college days? Tell us in the comments below, and add to the Giant Pool of Wisdom,  forming now.

Hello Loves,

As you may know I am single parenting and leaving today(!) on a six-week Friends-and-Family tour of the U.S. — our first time “home” in a year and a half! Thus, the slow blogging. I’m hoping to get the next DO LESS installment up on Choosing the Essentials. But the essentials may mean that’s a 3-hour writing session might be non-essential for one more week. We’ll see. Stay Tuned.

Hopefully this week’s *8Things will tide you over, because its a good one in that it requires both a little creativity AND  ya’ll will be a great resource to each other if you complete it. (Filling up the Giant Pool of Wisdom one bucket full of goodness at a time!)

In the comments on a recent Ask Magpie, Bethany of Coffee-Stained Clarity asked:

Church music used to be a very important part of my relationship with God, and not just music we sang at church but worship CDs and music I would play on my instruments. However, I’ve been a little shocked to find over the past year that this music has lost all relevance for me. Only one or two of the songs in our church’s entire repertoire mean anything to me, and the rest are just a matter for endurance. My question: Is music still a part of your spirituality, and if so, how does it apply? Have you found a way to bring it with you into the uncharted regions of the map?

I have written a little bit about how things stopped working over here, and I’d like to write more about that shift someday. … I figure this is a challenge not only for those of us in various stages of Leaving (or re-forming) Church, but also for folks who aren’t in an organized religion but who find a spiritual connection through music. (approx. one kazillion souls)

So, what *8 Songs connect you to the Divine? Songs that aren’t classically “religious” or “church music” but create a harmonic bridge to all things holy. Songs that soothe the soul. Songs that encourage and shore you up. Songs that connect you to something bigger and beyond, or more deeply and truly to the here/now. What songs are just Good Medicine? Do tell…and if you have time link us to online versions and youtube videos, just for fun. Here’s my list of *8 Songs for the Soul.

1. I Don’t Want to Waste Your Time, Over the Rhine from The Trumpet Child: this song is good medicine when I need some strengthening tonic in order to step out of the fray of various kinds of arguments, or to move through religious power struggles.

2. We Crawl, Polyphone Spree  from The Fragile Army: Small is beautiful, and “we’re better together.” D’accord?

3. Gravity,  John Mayer from Continuum. I know, I know. I’m a manic fan.  But he’s a brilliant songwriter, he’s really open about his artistic journey, and he’s a top notch guitarist. This song keeps me anchored when times are hard. I listened to it on repeat every night when we first moved here and every day in February. “Just keep me where the light is.”

4.  Ubi Caritas, Taize Chant: “Where there is love, there is God.” These are very much religious songs, but I find them to be accessible and touching, even though I trends toward the heretical. Many Taize songs are in Latin, a ‘dead’ language in that no one uses it as their common tongue — and thus is belongs to no one people group, and therefore can be commonly owned by all. Taize songs are sung on repeat by the congregants, with a solo line in voice or instrument carrying over the top. This symbolizes the reality that somewhere in the world, there are always people praying — so the prayer of the many (the congregant chants) supports the prayer of the one (the solo), and the prayer of the one enhances the prayer of the many. Last week when I was boo-hooing in church, I sang it out loud, even though it was only meant to be background for the offeratory. Thankfully the professional opera singer in front of me smiled benevolently and joined in.  Taize chants  convey universal truths that are helpful on many spiritual adventures.

5. Yahweh, U2 from How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. It’s hard to feel jaded around Bono and the Boys. When the girls were toddlers we had a rule, no one gets out of the car until Yahweh is done playing. Many a minute was spent in the  driveway listening to baby lisps sing “Take dis soul stwanded in some skin and bones, take dis soul and make it sing.” And as I transitioned out of organized religion, so full of anger and loss, I held on to these words with both hands:  ” Take these hands teach them what to carry, take these hands, don’t make a fist. Take this mouth, so quick to criticize, take this mouth give it a kiss.”  There’s always pain before the child is born, but there’s also an ocean of love. Hold on.

8. Breathe In, Breathe Out, Matt Kearney. My housemate Sharon has a t-shirt that says “Breathe In, Breathe Out. Repeat.” It’s ridiculous how many times I need to be reminded to do that. This dreamy little song hooks me back up to that reality when things get panicky.

7. Bold as Love, Jimmy Hendrix via John Mayer, Where the Light Is (Live). Poetic lyrics, passionate instrumentation, and the best sermon I’ve ever heard smack dab in the middle. “I’vedone everything in my life that I want to do except just give and receive love for my living.  And I don’t mean Hollywood, roman candle, hot pink love…I mean like I’ve GOT YOUR BACK love! So I’m gonna experiment with this love thing…giving love, receiving love. I know it sounds really corny but it’s the last thing I’ve got to check out, before I check out. Take me to the chorus, cuz I’m Bold as Love.” Can I get a witness?

6. Coming Up Easy, Paolo Nutini from Sunny Side Up. Most of the lyrics on this song are on Paolo’s main and most annoying theme – which is something like:  ”wow you smell good and I love you like a rock, but also…um…also there are a LOT of women out there.” This is the downside of being a little bit brilliant and a little bit 22-and-male. None the less, the closing refrain of this new song rocks me to my socks. “It was in love I was created and in love is how I hope I die.” Amen to that, my randy little brutha.

What are your *8Songs for the Soul? Grab a button and play along, or put your list in the comments below.

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I am young. Young enough to hold my father’s hand. The church is a little dim, the wood of the pews being so dark, the carpet such a deep red. Our pastor—part-grandfather, part-judge— is on the dais, his robes resplendently white, the gold of his stole glinting. He moves like an alchemist at the altar using, words, and rites, and gestures to turn ordinary things into talismans.

There is an electric organ, badly played, and an upright piano. We sing choruses before the liturgy, simple songs newly written by hippies with guitars picks. My father loves these simple songs, just a few phrase on repeat until they sink into your soul. He raises his hands to the sky, a stand out amongst the stiffness.

“Jesus, I just want to Thank You.
Jesus, I just want to Thay-ank You.
Jesus, I just want to Thank You.
Thank you for being so good.”

We unhinge our jaws. We loose our tongues. We the ordinary people of the everyday – we take on the task of angels. We sing. 

Now comes the hymns, both awkward and resplendent with age. An elderly woman with a thin, high voice warbles enthusiastically behind me. We are staid people, we Lutherans, and no inclined to showmanship. But some hymns are robust: 

“Holy, holy, holy!  All the saints adore thee,
casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea;
cherubim and seraphim falling down before thee,
which wert, and art, and evermore shalt be.”

My mother’s hands rest on the hymnal.  Her lacquered nails are bright against the brown nougahyde cover. They are long and cool and smooth. I love to stroke them when there is no singing and the service lingers on. I do not care for the spoken words: long scripture passage read aloud, the drone of the sermon. But the songs, the psalms, the hymnody-these charm me. I am utterly in their thrall. Spellbound. The Latin is like an incantation. We make our confession in a magic tongue:

 ”Kyrie, Kyrie Eleison, Eleison…”

Finally, it is time to chant my favorite part of the liturgy, and we turn to the Nunc Dimittis, Simeon’s Song.

“Lord lettest now Thy servant depart in peace, according to Thy Word.
For mine eyes have seen Thy Salvation, which Thou hast prepared before
the face of all people.
A Light to lighten the gentiles, and the glory of Thy people Israel.
We praise Thee. We bless Thee. We worship Thee.
We glorify Thee. We give thanks to Thee for Thy great glory.
Amen.”

Years later, when decades of rock and roll have filled my ears and the chants of my childhood have long been set aside, a tragedy comes to our door. Our first child is still born, a little boy a not much longer than my husband’s hand, which holds him on my chest. The diagnosis came before the birth. No abdominal wall. No chest wall. A spine bent and misshapen. We have had time to prepare, and my heart rushes back to those long Sundays in the dim red womb of the chapel. My tongue finds the old songs. We baptize our son in the way of my childhood, the long-established liturgy our guide in this unknown and frightening terrain. Simeon, we name him. Once more we sing the song… 

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My thanks to Jamie Ridler of Starshyne Productions for submitting “How has music influenced you?” as an Ask Magpie question.

Now it’s your turn! How has music influenced you over your lifetime? Tell us in the comments, or add the link to your post.

Ask Magpie is featured (some) Wednesdays and depends on your inquiring mind. “Ask me a question, I’ll tell you no lies!” Thanks for being here.

Today’s Ask Magpie question is from Jen Luit of Hollyhouse Studios via Twitter (mine: hers):

“How do you split time between 2 countries? What’s the deal with that? Any why don’t you have anything in your Etsy shop?”

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It is nearly 9pm and the Sun is still holding on to the sky by her fingertips.  After a short nap, she will start creeping up again around 4:00am, when I will dig my sleep mask out from under my pillow and hope my tendency towards insomnia will not be triggered by this unseemly light.

This is one of the things I love most about our Scandinavian life – these long days of light which grace us now, trying so diligently to make up for the 6 hours of half-light that haunt us all winter.

We moved to Denmark in February ’08. Microsoft has an office near Copenhagen and we’ve always want to live in Europe, so Paul lobbied for a transfer.  We were warned that Danish culture is notoriously difficult to break into – sort of like we were warned about how hard it was to raise children. Since at one point we had two kids under 2 years old, I think you can see how good we are at heeding this kind of advice.  So here we are living Life Abroad in Copenhagen, trying our best to avoid acting like “ugly” Americans. (As the saying goes, “In Denmark you are free…free to conform.)  

We still have a house in Seattle, where our 19yo adopted-by-affection still lives.  But I can’t really say “split our time between 2 countries,” since we haven’t been stateside since we left. Our British pals are constantly shocked that we haven’t been “home” in 18months. But once we reminded them that their plane tickets home are $150US and ours are $1,000, they start to get the picture. After a year and a half in Europe, the girls and I will spend seven weeks in Seattle this Summer. (Paul will come for part of it.) While there I’ll spend a small fortune on migraine treatment (blech) and host our first ever Soulsister’s retreat on a beautiful island in the Puget Sound. (yeah!)

I closed my Etsy shop when I left my Seattle studio, but last week I floated an idea for a joint project past  soulsister Jolie Guillebeau, and I’m hoping my sister-in-law’s Magpie necklaces will be sweeping the nation sometime soon. In the meantime, if any of y’all want to go Etsy shopping here’s a little link love:

-Stacy at Bella Wish has these beautiful Taking Flight necklaces, inspired by Kelley Rae Robert’s book. She also offers these beautiful memorial medallions, which I adore.

-Speaking of Kelly Rae, she sells out faster than daylight in Danish winter, but if you like pretty things with soul, do stop by and see what you can lay your hands on.

-Jolie Guillebeau and Rowena Murillo are both a part of our Sacred Commerce experiment. Spread a little love around by ordering from their shops. Jolie will send you a miniature watercolor with her pretty earrings, and Rowena’s Flying Girl prints are whimsical and inspiring.

-And don’t forget today’s Ask Magpie questioneer, Jen Luit, who has loads of cute stuff at Four Corners, including these earth-friendly re-useable lunchbags.

Thanks for helping me get my writing mojo back up and running with Ask Magpie!  ”Ask me a question, I’ll tell you no lies.” See you soon.

Read something at Magpie Girl that’s set you to wonderin’? Ask Magpie in the comments below…

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The other day Kristen at Halfway to Normal and I were having a little on-line chat about sadness. Where does it come from? What does it mean? And what do you do with it once it’s got you?

Kristen was talking specifically about that free-floating kind of sadness that descends upon you sans apparent cause. You know the kind, right? Here’s what we came up with so far:

Hormonal Sadness
Well the first obvious culprit is hormones. Hormonal shifts often cause seemingly random bouts of sadness. One of my best friends told me about this article once that said whatever emotion you are experiencing when you are ‘hormonal’ is probably something that you haven’t been able to adequately address in the past month. When your body chemistry starts shifting into high-gear, that emotion (sorrow, anger, regret, etc) can’t hide out anymore. So in some ways, that hormonally triggered sadness could be helping you out by knocking on your window and saying “Hey! Look at me please!”

We womenfolk have come to expect some moodiness before or during our period. But hormone flux can catch you at other times too. I know my moods (and migraines) are also bad at ovulation (about mid-way through your cycle.) And, when I was breast feeding I would get to feeling a little post-partumish whenever the baby went through a growth spurt and started nursing more, or while we were weaning.

There are some mood enhancing things you can do to help with hormonally-induced sadness. Mild exercise stirs up the endorphins, which help with both pain and sorrow. Calcium, Vitmain D and Vitamin B6 can help too. I make sure my dose is topped up the week prior to my period/ovulating. Ask your doctor, naturopath, or nutritionist for ideas and create a plan to support yourself.

Empathic Sadness
Another kind of sadness is what I tend to think of as empathic sadness – that is, sadness that isn’t mine, but is indicative of something that is going in some connected corner of the universe. What I’m talking about is a kind of ‘sixth sense’ that something difficult is about to go down. This can be a frightening experience; because of course you experience a sense of foreboding.

If you are highly sensitive in this way, it is possible to write yourself a script which helps you see this as a super power rather than as a disability. For instance, now that I’ve learnt to recognize empathic sadness, I use it as a kind of prep time. Just last week I had a terrible random bout of sadness. That night, I made a matchbox shrine using various symbols and items that at the time appeared quite random. Two days later I got a call that a friend had been diagnosed with uterine cancer. Every single object in the matchbox shrine related back to her experience. I packaged up the shrine and sent it off to her right away.

If you’re experiencing sadness that doesn’t feel like yours, fall back on the basics. Free write. Collage. Make lists of words, colors, images. Then sit back and see what the Universe is telling you. If the sadness feels too burdensome, try creating a symbolic place for it until its cause is ready to reveal itself. (This works when you need a break from sadness that ‘belongs’ to you too.) A ritual for this can be as simple as writing the word “sadness” on a piece of paper and putting it in a pretty bowl while asking God or the Universe to hold on to it for you for awhile . This kind of symbolic gesture can provide you with a bit of solace and relief.

Pervasive Sadness
Pervasive sadness that will not lift, or grief or sorrow that does not ebb with time may be a more serious condition. Depression is very common, and can be treated with therapy, medication, even dietary changes. The problem is, how do you know if you are just a little blue or downright depressed? There are assessment tools on line like this article or this test. But of course, the best thing is to see a doctor or therapist for professional assessment.

Over the years I’ve experienced all three of these kinds of sadness. In fact, sometimes I feel like assessing and managing my sadness is a pretty big part-time job. There are days when I wish I could just be happy-go-lucky and float around on the top layer of life — like the stars of the Disney channel, you know? But most of the time I can recognize my bouts of sadness as part of the package of living a life observed. Recently, when I was feeling overly burdened by illness and sadness combined, I asked my ever-ebullient soulsister Leonie if she EVER got sad. She said something quite wise:

What do you think? Can we embrace that? I say we give it a try.

What do you do when you are hit with a bout of sadness? What are your tips and techniques for riding the waves?

Josh asks: What are the life lessons that you have learned through your life experience that you hold as the most valuable?

For this, you get an *8Things list:

1) Be dangerously compassionate.

2) Love people’s little folliables. (and hope they love yours!)

3) “As you go on your way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump.” Joseph Campbell

4) Do Less.

5) Follow your intuitive voice. It is wisdom.

6) Thinking before you speak is overrated.

7) Lean towards beauty.

8) “Live where you fear you cannot dwell. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” Rumi

Bethany asks: How did you find your own ways of nurturing your daughters’ spirituality? As my two little girls grow, I find myself realizing that the only spiritual parenting technique I’ve ever seen was going through a devotional book together. However, you seem to be bursting with special and unique ways to help your children connect with God, and I would love to know the story of how that came about.

I started by creating art-based spiritual practices for the church I was pastoring at the time. When I left the official pastorate, I just transfered those passions and practices to my home.

Mostly I just do what I need, what intuitively sounds good to me: making shrines and building altars; celebrating things that happen seasonally and come around each year; writing prayers and liturgies that have a certain cadence and beauty to them; starting and stopping practices as the become or cease to be useful to me. (Praxis is key for me – what works in real life.) Then I offer these things to the girls. Some of them stick, and some of them don’t.

Catie jives with me pretty well because we are both kind of mystic. Eden used to be like that too, but as she’s gotten older she’s become more pragmatic and scientific. (She often says, “Mommy, you and Cate are for all that God stuff, but me and Souren are for science. Well…I’m for a little God, but mostly science.”) So, I try to give Eden soulcare that has to do with physical realities: taking time to rest, conscious breathing, making lists of emotions. While with Caite it’s morning prayers from a book; grace at dinner, and building shrines.

I think my biggest piece of advice here would be “get comfortable with failure.” Failure is such a positive thing. It shows you what you don’t need to do anymore. Failure and experimentation go hand in hand. Experiment a lot. You don’t have to commit to something and do it forever. Just try it. If it works, keep it. If it doesn’t I give you permission to leave it by the roadside. (I know you don’t need permission, but it helps sometimes, doesn’t it?)

And speaking of soulcare for kids, Soulcrafting: 12 spiritual practices for soulful kids is this close to being done. Watch for a self-published version in the new year!

Shell asks: Do you have one major thing you like to do before you turn 40?

I was meant for the stage! By the time I’m 40 I’d like to be speaking to big groups of people in an environment that feels like home. Or, I’d like to produce a set of audio essays, or have a radio segment or something like that. Right now, making either of those a reality feels out of my hands. But I can control one way of getting onto a stage – I’m learning how to play the guitar and hope to pluck out one decent song at an open mic for my 40th birthday.

Amy asks: What makes you feel loved? What have you found to be the most effective way to love others?

I feel most loved when someone seeks me out for conversation. Time is my love language. I like thoughtful little gifts too…but again, not so much for the gift itself as for the idea that someone took the time to gather them and get them to me. I also feel loved when someone remembers: something I said to them, something we did together, something that is important to me. Ironically, I don’t feel like I am very good about remembering these thigns for others!

I think the most effective way to love others is to follow your impulse towards them. That’s your intuitive voice of wisdom telling you what to do. I struggle sometimes to embrace this wisdom, because the older I get the more disreputable those impulses seem. They often require me to live counter-culturally. Examples? I’m a lot more transparent than most people would advise. I tell people what I dream about them. I keep in touch with my first crush because he is such a wise, dear soul. I adopt teenagers who talk to me on street corners. None of these seem…prudent. But those are the things love has offered to me these past years. When they come I’ve tried to embrace my puckish side, deny fear, and jump. It’s not been without pain, but I truly have no regrets. I keep choosing The Beast, and people get loved in the process.

Abbey of the Arts asks: One simple question — do you know, I mean really know deep down, how beautifully stunning you are?

LOL! No Christine, I totally do not! I can spot it in others, but not so much in myself. What’s that old saying? “The cobblers children have no shoes.”

Thanks for reading, commenting, and querying. Stay tuned for more Q’s with their A’s….!

Florencia asks: are you a priestess or have I been reading too distractedly?

I’ve been trying on the term ‘priestess’ for the last few years. I think it looks good on me!

In official terms, I do have a degree in theology; and I have been ordained. (Although I’ve allowed that to lapse since moving to Europe.) I served as an ordained minister at a church and as the abbess at a neo-monastic community. I don’t have an official title now, but I enjoy offering people spiritual direction on line, and I write regularly about spirituality. I like the term ‘priestess’ because priests, ideally, usher people into a place of transcendence and beauty—which is something I try to do with my writing and my practices. I chose to use the feminine version of the word ‘priest’ because it helps me embrace my quest for uncovering the feminine face of God –the Feminine Divine—which I believe has been buried by the patriarchal models which are predominate in religious institutions.

Josh asks: Compare ten years ago to now, what would you say are the major beliefs that have changed and how has that change changed you?

At 30 I was a happy little evangelical minister gleeful to be accepted into the big-boys club of church ministry. I was very concerned with making sure people were developing an ‘orthodox’ faith, and the myth of personal holiness (i.e. being good) was very important to me. Art was hovering patiently at my door, waiting for me to be ready for our date, and ideas about a new kind of leadership were knocking around my head, but all of that was in embryonic form.

Since then I have completely let go of evangelical doctrine. I don’t believe Christianity is the only way to God. I don’t believe in hell. I still love the transformational theology – that is, I think we can all continue to become more in-the-image-of-God by transforming more deeply into our truest selves—but moral ‘rightness’ and acquiescence to some religious standard (i.e. personal holiness) is no longer a tantamount for me.

How has this shift changed me? My primary language is no longer one of debate and critique, but one of dialogue and curiosity. I’m considerably less uptight and worried. Fear does not dominate my life as it once did. I can see truth in a lot more places now. I’m now live in a place of generosity and abundance, and not in a metaphysical land of judgement and lack. I have a less secure sense of place, and I sometimes miss the way having a clearly delineated religion provides security. But overall, my life has more beauty, ease, and compassion than it once did.

Elaine asks: If you could live one day of your life as another being (animal, vegetable or mineral but it must be non-human), what would you be and why?

I’d probably be a tree. I’m really into the spirit of trees. There was a fig tree near my house in Seattle that I called Mother Fig. I used to stop sometime on my pre-dawn walks and put my hand on her trunk and say encouraging things to her. (She was very overgrown and neglected. Poor baby.) Here in CPH there is a tree in the Univeristy Havn that might be magical. When the Winter sunset strikes it it glows like someone has uplit it with sophisticated stage lighting. Right now its leaves are so beautiful. Trees represent wisdom to me…wisdom and resilience.

Elaine again: If you could meet an inspirational leader from the past or present, who would that be and what one question would you ask him or her?

I can’t really think of anyone from the past right now. I’d like a pow wow with some of my current personal leaders though. Jen Lee could coach me on how to get a journal project and a collection of audio essays ready for distribution. I’m really admiring her work lately. And Sharon Benton could keep advising me how to not squander my so called (cushy) life. Oh, and Leonie could teach me how to be less of an Eyeore and more of a goddess. That would be good!

Four more Q’s with their A’s coming up tomorrow….

Today is my birthday. I am 39 years old. One more year until the nice, round four-oh.

Thirty was a happy day for me. I was elated at 30. I threw myself an enormous party in which every one had to participate in a talent show. Ian read Beattle’s songs as droll British performance-art poetry. Karl wrote a comic ditty about me and sang while he played the piano. Neil put art up on an easle. Kami made her famous beef-stew-in-pumpkin. (And swore never to make it again after it sloshed all over the back of the pimp-mobile, which later spontaneously combusted on the front drive.)

I was emerging out of my post-partum depression, back into my pre-baby clothes, and happily on staff at a church that I loved. The decade looked promising.

The past few years have been harder than that blithe birthday would have lead me to believe. I’ve been sick most of this decade (chronic migraines); a huge idealogical shift has lead me away from the church and onto a more ancient-future faith that refuses to behave and is always giving me fits; and the home I thought I would grow old in is now occupied by renters while I learn how to live life abroad. It hasn’t been a terrible decade — far from it! But is has been more challenging, and more surprising that I ever could have imagined.

It makes me wonder what the next few years will be. Will my 40′s be as dramatically life altering as my 30′s? Will there be more children adopted by affection, and communities built and dismantled as the Universe dictates? Will there be books and columns, or will blogging remain my means of witness? Will I feel wiser in ten year’s time, or merely have more questions?

And speaking of questions, there is nothing I like better than being interviewed. I think this is charming, and I love what Leonie did here. If I could be interviewed full-time for a living I would be a very happy camper. So on this my birthday, I give you my lovely readers free reign. Ask me a question, any question, and I will tell you no lies. Because really, it’s my birthday, and I think today it’s okay for it to be all about me.

Thanks for celebrating with me!

With love from a very mild narcissist,

Rachelle