Magpie Speak: Taming Your Monkey Mind
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Taming Your Monkey Mind
What is Monkey Mind?
Monkey Mind is a Buddhist term meaning “unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant, confused; indecisive; uncontrollable.” It’s the voice in your head that goes “Blah blah blah…let’s go get some ice cream…yada yada yada…You know what we should do? Learn to knit. And also, buy a great camera. And maybe become a monk…. After we join the circus.”
Yeah, that voice. Mine is named Pinkerton.
Now, I’m about as far from Buddhist as they come. I could use some more Buddhism in my life – seeing as I rarely live in the Now and spend most of my time dreaming into the Future, or picking apart my Past. But every time I read a book about Buddhism I want to throw it at someone’s head. It’s so damn Zen and I am so damn not.
Plus, looking over that definition of Monkey Mind, there’s a lot in there my artistic soul doesn’t want to part with. I love Whimsy, and Fanciful is my second best friend. (She hangs around a lot with Alice and they are teaching me how not to lose my Muchness.) Confusion is an honest state of mind. I can respect that. And Control, well, Control is overrated. I guess what I’m saying is a lot of those characters are here to stay for me. So I figure, I’d best try to make friends with my Monkey Mind. Here are some things Pinkerton likes. Maybe your Monkey Mind will like them too:
Six Ways to Tame Your Monkey Mind
Lists: Monkeys like lists. (Especially if you write them in crayon. Or chocolate.) I started *8Things to tame my monkey mind. I have a Word document with 107 *8Things lists on it. Some days I don’t write one at all. Other times I have two write two or three before by mind quiets down enough for me to get to work. At Magpie Girl I try to tailor the *8Things lists to be soulcare-y and helpful. But most of them – the one’s you don’t see – are completely frivolous. (And yet, helpful.)
More Lists: Now the *8Things lists, while charming, really do very little to organize my day (other than getting Pinkerton to STOP YELLING.) So to organize my Monkey Mind I also rely upon Teux Duex. It’s cute, it’s clever, it’s easy to use, and it’s free. Plus it has this handy little “Someday” section where you can put all the overflow. It’s like Fort Knox for ideas. You put ‘em in there and you know they’re safe. I swear to god, I would not get one thing done, not one thing, without Teux Duex.
Do Less: Another thing that helps with Monkey Mind is just committing to do less. I mean really, how many hours do you want to work? How many craft projects do you really need to have? How many causes do you need to sign up for? Repeat after me: “I am not the center of the universe.” Someone else can do some of this stuff.
Every time your Monkey Mind tells you something else that would be great, just say “Uh huh, honey, that sounds swell.” Then keep doing what you were already up to. I mean, sure, there are a bazillion things you could do. You have a lot to offer. But if the fit isn’t right, if it doesn’t line up with your deep passion and goals, then your Monkey should not be telling you to do it. As Dyana Valentine says in Danielle LaPorte’s FireStarter Sesions, “Just because you have it to give doesn’t mean you have any business giving it.”
Know Your Values: Indecisiveness is one of the monkeys in the barrel. To tame indecisiveness, I use another list – my Guiding Values List. These are ten things I value most highly in life. When my Monkey Mind starts throwing up a thousand different ideas and directions, I make a list, and then line it up with my guiding values. If it’s an interesting idea, but it doesn’t jive with the things that make up the core of me, then it’s easier for me to set it aside.
Workout ‘em Out. Meditative workouts are great for Monkeys. You’re moving, see, so they think they are getting somewhere. But really you are just wearing them out so they take a nice long nap. Pinkerton likes swimming, walking and yoga. I’ve also heard running works well. The first 15 minutes of any of these workouts he’s very chatty. But about 20 minutes in he settles right down. (Personally, I think workouts without music work best for taming Monkey Mind. Listening to tunes or podcasts usually make Pinkerton even chattier. But that may just be Pinkerton. Your monkey may do just fine with something in his ear.)
Wander: Finally, I’d just like to remind you that sometimes you need to go out and play with your Monkey. Getting distracted by sparkly things can be good for creativity. By wandering with your Monkey you can find a new path, discover a new passion, or realize that you’ve out grown your Guiding Values and you need to update your list. If you are in a wandering stage right now, I wrote a blessing just for you. (Listen here.)
What bits do you love about your Monkey? When does he act up the most, and what do you do to tame him? Do tell! We need your contribution to keep our Monkeys happily in hand.
10 comments
Girl, this really speaks to me. Again, your evolution of joining the circus is a few steps ahead of mine but I’m right there. I’ve never heard of Monkey Mind but wow do I have it. I’ve done a very good job recently of keeping it tame by getting rid of some extra blogs in my feed — the ones that were just burdening me with too many new ideas — and by eliminating those in my Twitter and Facebook feed that add to negative feelings in my mind. I’m down to mostly people like you who fit into my Values List. Also, by using this mantra: One Project at a Time. Also, morning pages, your 8 things lists and writing Tada! Lists have been very good taming. I love my Monkey’s interest in so many things, which is exactly what I do not like. Taming her, though, is definitely the key.
Boy can I relate to what you’re talking about!
I love my Monkey Mind most of the time (he can be so fun and clever!) but sometimes he needs to have a timeout. He chooses to yell during those quiet, introspective times…Lists hastily written on post-its are pretty much the only way to keep him whispering and not yelling.
I love knowing that I’m not the only one with a Monkey Mind… Thanks for the post!
I really like the kindness and yet accurateness of your pieces of advice. Loved this blog post!
And I have just added the “TeuxDeux” application to my iphone (not free in Switzerland, but the website is). I can already how this is going to change my daily plans!
Thank you so much and keep up the great work!
this has been a great series and i think the addition of the guiding values list is one of the best things i’ve seen so far – i love the concept and creating a ‘mobile’ of your values is a great visual reminder to keep one on track. i’ve got to work on this exercise soon!
thanks for offering this Magpie series!!
Ohhhh, I love this–my monkey is Delilah (yeah, sassy and multi-lingual to keep me on my toes) and she shows up whenever I’m making headway–real mind-with-no-clock headway and says, “snacks? walkies? need to do something for someone else right NOW?!” I’ve come to find that a stern, DELIIIIILAH! in her general direction calms her down for a bit. It’s brilliant that you say play with your monkey–because that’s EXACTLY what’s needed. I look at Delilah as a loving combo of grenade-pulling, break-mate. Sometimes she’s all about screwing stuff up, for the fun of it. Sometimes, she knows I need a break before I do. Thanks for the reminder and the kind mention, Rachelle.
When I look about me at all the (brilliant!) unfinished projects I have accumulated I think I’ve had a monkey playing games with me. The time has come to get to know my monkey and do a little taming of him/her (I’m hoping a little monkey time will reveal its gender).
The guiding values list seems an excellent place to start. I will do this conscious that I am wandering and sparkly things do attract my eye, but with a tamed monkey on my shoulder that could, as you suggest, bring some surprising growth opportunities and a good dose of joy! Thank you Rachelle!
I shall call him Cuthbert.
I love that Cuthbert is curious, interested in everything, fascinated by the novel and the un-tried, is mischievous, is generous, is constantly trying to make connections and networking, and pushes me towards a healthy dis-satisfaction with the status quo. Cuthbert gets screechy when I am already overworked, busy, not watching my health, and feeling blue – he’s good at throwing all this back in my face and telling me I’m STILL not doing enough. But now that I think of it, he’s really doing me a favor because he tends to be a warning signal. I didn’t really realize that till now. Maybe instead of taking him seriously, and feeling extra pressured to DO and BE more, I can hear his screech as a wake-up call and a teasing way of showing me just how nutty my life is getting.
Cuthbert can be tamed with exercise (running, walking, yoga, swimming, kayaking, hiking, bike-riding, dancing), by listening to him, by reflecting in my journal, by time spent in nature, and by time spent alone. Cuthbert also really likes doughnuts. Which is fortunate, because so do I.
What works really well for me is an exercise I picked up from Evolutionary Witchcraft by T. Thorn Coyle – when doing my morning meditation, I start out by counting to sixty while breathing (one on inhale, two on exhale, etc.). If I mess up or find myself spacing out and saying the same number over again, I have to start all over. I find that I actually have to focus on counting to get to sixty, and for some reason, after I get to sixty (which takes anywhere from two minutes to ten) my monkey quiets right down and the rest of meditation is usually really peaceful.
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