Your community and website focus on spirituality and crafting a belief system that nurtures YOU, just special you. Why is it so important to form such a belief system as an artist?

Curious? Click here to read my answer.

Thanks for being here today.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle
*your magpie girl

Last week I  taught at the Soularize learning party on right-fit spiritual practices. I know creating habits and practices that nurture your soul and inspire your living is something you value, Magpie. So I’m sharing my workshop notes here in a mini-series at Magpie Girl.

In the last post we looked at 5 indicators your practices might not be right-fit for you, and we looked for things that would help us notice practices that are working well. In this post I’m summing up 5 things that will help you explore different practices so you can uncover the thing (or things) that nuture you and help you connect to ___________________.  (Fill in the blank…God, Love, Creativity, The Divine….).

Over the past few years I’ve been privlidged to be a part of a couple different soulcare communities which were (and are) engaged in exploring spiritual practices. In time I came to notice recurring habits that help communities make good soulcare discoveries. Here are are 5 Ways to Uncover Your Right-Fit Practices:

1. Experimentation. Just as you would play with costumes from a dress up box, try-on different habits and practices and observe the results.
2. Accepting Failure. Don’t be discouraged by failed experiments. Failure — when approached with curiosity and humor — directs us onto a more healthful path.
3. Emphasizing functionality. As that great thought-leader Dr. Phil says, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” As my evangelical friends say, “Is this bearing fruit?” If your practice brings shalom (wholeness) to yourself and others, it has high-function in your life — even if it doesn’t seem like a “typical” or traditional practice.
5. Learned from other wisdom traditions – If the practices of your tradition aren’t enhancing your life, consider looking outside your wisdom tradition. Then look for places of common connection and lean into those.

***
What about you Magpie? Do you have a soulcare practice you just adore? How did you find it? Do tell!

I’m teaching this week at the Soularize learning party about right-fit spiritual practices. The group I’m working with is very good at honest deconstruction. Now we are working together on creative reconstruction. Many of us here would love to craft a set of practices that are rooted, authentic and creative enough to grow-a-long with us – even if they don’t look very much like what we have come to know as “church.”

I know that many of you are interested in that as well, my curious creative Magpies. So I thought I’d do a quick-and-dirty post with some of my tips and techniques notes from the right-fit spiritual practices workshop. These aren’t fully fleshed out, so if you see something that makes you go “hmmmm…curiouser and curiouser” please let me know. Your questions and comments could become good fodder for an upcoming Ask Magpie column.

Right-fit spiritual practices are habits that help you stay connected to The Divine/Spirit/That-Which-Guides-You while authentically reflecting your core values, and keeping you connected to your deep historic roots.

Indicators that your spiritual/soulcare practices are not right-fit for you any longer (deconstruction):

• You don’t know what the mean or why your community started doing them in the first place.
• You dread and resist going to any meeting or gathering where they might be practiced.
• You have a pervasive sense of guilt.
• You know it used to work for you, and your baffled why it doesn’t feel nurturing, inspiring, guiding anymore.
• You’re doing them because you are “supposed to” not because you enjoy them.

Take a moment to reflect on your current set of practices – from prayer to knitting, from worship to running. Is there one that has at least 3 of these traits? You have a couple of options, each of which is totally legitimate depending on your needs:

1. Stop doing that practice all together, and don’t pick up a new practice.
2. Find a completely new practice to replace that one.
3. Adapt and re-create the practice to better fit your current needs, beliefs, and values.

If you decided to replace or re-create, you can look for clues about what might be a better-fit practice.

Traits of a right-fit spiritual practice (reconstruction):

• Right-fit practices are adaptable over time and grow with you.
• Right-fit practices feel juicy and engaging.
• Right-fit practices leave you feeling nurtured not drained; confident, not not disempowered; “enough,” not guilty.
• Right-fit practices leave room for mystery and wonder so that you have space to explore and question.

Take a moment to reflect on your current set of practices – from prayer to knitting, from worship to running. Is there one that has at least 3 of these traits? How can you lean into the practice and spend more time there?

Next up: Five things that will help you discover your right-fit spiritual practices.
***
You Might Also Like:

• For examples of right-fit practices from a slew of creative souls. Click here.
• For more ideas about the relig-ish life. Click here.
• For a few of my favorite odd-ball practices that have been right-fit for me, click here for shrines or click through the tag cloud for seasaonl celebrations.

Then my new class is just-right for you, my sweet.

The Art of Noticing
A 30 day practice group for savoring your life.
$30

The Art of Noticing is a simple, 30 day “prompts” class. Establish a mindfulness practice, increase your gratitude, and decrease resistance in just 5-10 minutes a day. Learn to notice — really notice – what Mary Oliver calls your “one wild, precious life.”

This is the last week to register. Class begins May 1st. Click here to join us!

Want a taste of what Noticing can do for you? Here’s a complimentary sample platter for you to nibble on:

• The Art of Noticing: When to be still.
• The Art of Noticing: How to receive love.
• The Art of Noticing: What helps you feel better?
• The Art of Noticing: Seeing old things in a new light.
• The Art of Noticing: How much is too much?
• The Art of Noticing: Noticing resistance and going with the flow.
• The Art of Noticing: Stand in the place where you live.
• The Art of Noticing: Noticing the natural world.

Hungry for more?  Click here.

The Art of Noticing
A 30 day practice group for savoring your life.
$30

the mud grown to grass
the soil erupting with hyacinths
the cherry blossoms busy at their dance
and the dandelions, saucy after a long hibernation.

Touch the ground today.
Lay your hand on the tree
that stands,
four seasons long
as a sentinel on your street corner.

Say “thank you”
to the season
as she turns, and turns,
and turns again.

And find in exchange
gratitude
springing forth in your
(maybe)
optimistic heart.

What about you? What are you noticing about the natural world around you? What is Nature whispering to your heart?

+++

The Art of Noticing is about practicing presence in accessible, everyday ways. It decreases resistance, increases gratitude, and opens your eyes to what Mary Oliver calls your “one wild, precious life.” Learn to notice in The Art of Noticing, a 30 day practice group beginning May 1st. Click here to join me.

We are creative, soulful be-ings who want to curate the best of our religious past, while crafting an honest spiritual future. We are the high priestesses of our homes, creating seasonal celebrations that reflect our deepest values. We are the women creating rites and rituals out of art, and movement, and the food on the table. We are the amateur theologians writing creeds that allow us to look people in the eye. We are the people longing for a community built on support and curiosity, not judgment and condemnation. We will find that community. And if we cannot find one, we will create one because we are as wise as we are powerful.

This is what I want to assure you of:  You are not alone. There are companions to travel with – withmates for the journey. We can each create our own spiritual path, and we can dance together at the crossroads.

We’ve been homeless for a while — we of the creative mind, we of the wandering soul. I grew tired of this. I also wanted a place to call home. So I created Flock, an online soulcare community where women like us can get advice, share resources, and celebrate our year together. It’s our new nesting place, and we seats are now open.

You’ve been fluttering around for a long time now It’s time to find a landing space. Welcome home.

The Art of Noticing: Excess

It’ s Lent and most of my friends are giving something up. Sugar. Bread. Television.

Many a year I too have given things up for Lent. Yet I have to admit, even when I was a traditional pastor, I never really got the connection between forgoing Snickers for 40 days, and the suffering of a man who was crucified. I know it’s a lot more complicated than that, both in theology and practice. I know that theoretically the practice of fasting during Lent can connect us to our mortality, help us see the need for forgiveness, and make us more aware of the suffering of others. But for me, well, it always just felt like “New Year’s Resolutions: Round Two.”

This year as a part of my post-Christian reality I’m finding a spirituality that fits– even around Lent. As a part of that journey, I’ve been thinking a lot about Excess. Here in America, even when we are in lean times there is still Excess. Excess worry. Excess entertainment, drinking, and junk food to numb the worry. Excess outrage at the power-that-be. The modus operandi for our consumerist culture is ”MORE”. So much so that even in times of crisis, we find ways to over-indulge

So for Lent, I thought I would spend some time noticing the Excess in my own life. Then I thought I’d ask God-and-the-Universe to show me how I might both release the Excess and transform it into Abundance for someone else during this giving season. It’s an experiment. I want to get curious, don’t you? So here it goes–my list of *8Things that I have too much of in my life.

*8Things: Excess

1. Televisions/Movies:  I don’t have a TV, but damned if I don’t consume a lot of movies and shows on Hulu and Netflix.
2. Email. Not sure what to do about that one.
3. Sugar. I’m not supposed to eat it, and yet is is always in my house.
4. Sleep. I could really stand to be a bit more of an early riser.
5. Negative Self Talk. Wow. There would be so much more productivity in a day if I didn’t spend this much time with my Gremlins.
6. Debating About What’s The Most Important Thing to Do Next. (See number 5.)
7. Diet Coke. I quit it like most people quit smoking. It’s snuck back in.
8. Toiletries. Why do I keep buying lotions and potions?!?!

Hmmm. It was harder to come up with *8Things then I thought. I guess my half-assed minimalism and determination to Do Less  has been effective. If I had made this list a year or two ago it would have involved lots more loot. (Especially clothes. My year without clothes really honed my closet down to an effective minimum.)

Based on the things I noticed here, the most logical thing to give up for Lent would be Television/Movies. Frankly I don’t feel strong enough to do that right now. It enjoy the escape at the end of the day, and having something on in the background is the only way I power through my most hated daily task — making dinner/cleaning the kitchen. Plus the $7.99 a month I spend on Netflix really wouldn’t make much of a dent in the Tsunami Relief efforts.

I’m leaning towards sugar. Sugar and Diet Coke. If I give these things up I can redirect about $10 a week towards a charitable cause. Plus both of these things are driving me more quickly towards death, so giving them up makes me more aware of my own mortality and my desire to not get there any sooner than necessary. (That’s kind of Ash Lent-ish, right?) So there we have it. I’m giving up sugar and Diet Coke for Lent.

I’m sure Jesus would be very proud. ;-)

What about you. What is your list of *8Things: Excess? What do you have too much of in your life? Where is there Excess that drains you? How can you transform your Excess into Abundance for others? You’re answers are sure to inspire us.  Grab a button and play along. If you put your list on your blog, give us the permalink (not your homepage address) in the Mr. Linky below. Thanks for playing!

The Art of Noticing: A sneek peek.

Art of Noticing: Sneek Peek from Rachelle Mee-Chapman on Vimeo.

The Art of Noticing

The Art of Noticing: Old Things, New Eyes

LaLa’s sun, courtesy of Leanna Ramsey-Corrales, Which Way is Home Again.

Yesterday my yoga instructor asked me to “contemplate the characteristic of Surya, the Sun…” She always asks me this. She never forgets. Why? She’s on a on a DVD, so there is no variation to this routine. I have heard it so often I have become numb to the instructions.

But not this time. This time I actually thought about the Sun and her characteristics. Living in northern climes as I do, I am usually desperate for the sun. For Light. For heat. So much so that these are the only characteristics I remember about the her. But yesterday as I looked at the sun — well, at the watery hint of her existence, there, behind the clouds — I came to notice stunning things about her.

*8Things: Characteristics of the Sun

1. The sun warms whatever she touches.
2. The sun grows things — with the help of others. (rain, oxygen, earthworms…)
3. The sun has no fear of running out of energy in this lifetime.
4. The sun is universally loved.
5. The sun goes on burning, even when no one is noticing it.
6. The sun is egoless.
7. The sun, while needed by all living things, is not strained by her necessity.
7. While the sun may appear to grow stronger or weaker, that comes from viewing her from a fixed perspective. At her core, she is consistently energized and un-depleted. 
8. The sun does the work of her life without effort or strain, but simply by be-ing

Is there something omnipresent in your life that you need too direct your gaze to once again? Can you see something old anew? We’d love to know what you are re-discovering today. What is your list of *8Things: Old Things: New Eyes?  Grab a button and play along. If you put your list on your blog, give us the permalink(not your homepage address) in the Mr. Linky below. Thanks for playing!

The Art of Noticing: What helps me feel better.

Yesterday I was turning the pages of my Moleskine calendar and was shocked to see how much the the year has already been scheduled in. “Time flies,” we say. And it does seem to speed by, to pass us in the blink of an eye.

 How can we experience — really experience — the life we are living? Does being present to our everyday help us recognize the sacred? Does paying attention  reduce our stress and fill us up? Can the The Art of Noticing give us what we need to save ourselves and others?

I think so.

Let’s start with *8Things. What *8Things help you feel stronger, healthier, better? Don’t make resolutions to do them every morning. Don’t create a plan. Not yet anyway. Just take a moment to ask you body/mind/spirit, “What help you feel better, friend?” I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours.

*8Things: Feel Better

1. I feel ”cleaner” when I drink water.
2. Sun salutation or laps in the pool help me feel bright and alert.
3. I feel calmer if I make my bed and wash my bowl.
4. I am more loving towards my family, if I have some time to myself each day.
5. I feel super nutured if I read in the bathtub.
6. Clearing my desk clears my head.
7. Bare-bulb lighting nurtures my spirit.
8. I feel jolly when friends come to eat at my house.

+++

What are *8Things you notice helping you feel better? We need your good ideas, because “there ain’t no place to go but together.” Grab a button and play along. If you put your list on your blog, give us the permalink (not your homepage address) in the Mr. Linky below. Thanks for playing!

This is story number 22, and it comes from Becky Knight of Living Sexuality who asks:

Q: “How do you balance “spreading your wings” with tending to your “nest.” As someone who works full-time outside the home and has three kids, I don’t sit down until 9pm every night. I have very little time or energy to put into the things I want to do for myself professionally. Do you have advice or suggestions on how to balancing the obligations I have to myself with the obligations I have to others?”

A: I work with a lot of solopreneurs, and believe me, you are not alone in this challenge. We could write a whole unit on each of the three categories you’ve mentioned here: home, work, and self. But for now, let’s focus on how to find time to do what you want to do professionally, while still keeping the home fires burning.

Let go of being houseproud.  When I was a newlywed in 1992, I read a modern British housekeeping book that encouraged scrubbing the toilets and sinks every day. What?! This in not the 60′s and you are not on the cast of Mad Men. Put down the vacuum cleaner and let the dust accumulate on the mantle piece. Martha Stewart is not coming to dinner and those who love you are not going to look under the bed. It’s amazing how little housework you can do — and still have a safe and relatively tidy home.  Here are some things I can think of right now that will release you’re time: ignore the cobwebs; be okay with “assembled” dinners; let the junk drawer stay junky, don’t clean bits of the “guest” bath that never get used until right before a guest comes; don’t by stuff you have to iron (you’re never gonna wear it anyway.) There. I bet you feel better already.

Enlist Your Family. America, we are coddling our children. Preschoolers can serve themselves dinner from a common serving dish, kindergartners can sort the laundry, grade schoolers can take out the trash. Why are you doing it all? Here’s are my number one and two tips for releasing your time by enlisting your family. 1. Teach everyone to load the dishwasher. 2. Sort the clean laundry into a basket, one for each family member. Holler at the family members to come take their basket upstairs. Viola. You are done.

Don’t Over-Program Your Kids. The fewer soccer/ballet/fencing/potter classes you run around to, the more time you’ll have for your own personal development. We are designed to be life-long learners. That means Mom’s get to learn and develop themselves too. Period.

Know Your Purpose. I’m taking a course with Gary Barnes right now, and his big premise is that the results you are getting are on purpose. If  you are getting results you don’t want, stop and make sure you have the right purpose. What do you want to do for yourself — professionally or personally? Write your purpose statements down, post them, make them your priority. This will take a lot of trust. You’ll need to trust that it’s okay for the  the stuff that falls away to go away.  You might end up living a simpler life — a life that looks much different that your neighbors and peers. But you will be living according to your passionate purpose. And that will be totally worth it!

Build a Support Group. If you are trying to develop something professionally for yourself “on the side” — either in addition to your regular work, and/or in addition to your family life, you’re gonna need a team. Find just two other people who are also setting on-purpose professional goals. You can meet with them in person, or on the phone with free conference calling websites. Set quarterly goals and check in with each other once a month to see how things are going. Brain storm through your stuck spots, and offer each other tips. You’ll be amazed how much this helps!

Reconsider your Finances. Your time is valuable, and the time you invest now on meeting your professional goals will pay off in funds later. That means you might have to invest some funds now in services to help you reach those work goals. Some counter-intuitive ways to make more money is to hire a once-a-month housekeeper, pay for an after-school babysitter, or even get a virtual assistant to help you with some of the grunt work. Even in a tight budget, making time for your personal business project by investing in home-life help can bring in a big bang for you buck when your business is up and running.

Use What You’ve Got. If you’ve been working on a professional project for awhile, you probably have more resources than you think. That flier you wrote would be the good basis for a class at the community center. Those blog posts could turn into a for-pay ecourse or ebook without much effort. Those lectures you presented at your professional association could be re-presented in front of a webcam and turned into a video series. I’ll tell you a little secret…shhh…not everyone has seen your work yet.  Take a hard, creative look at the materials you’ve already amassed and package them for re-sale.

Acknowledge the Small Steps. Chances are, you are spending a lot more time on your professional development that you think you are. Writing one blog post, sending out one resume, making contact with one potential client — these are all big achievements when your world also happens to consist of a full time job and parenting a couple of offspring. Keep an achievement scroll handy and write down every small step you take. Don’t fall into the trap that you can’t get anything done unless you have a big block of time. Winnowing away at a larger project ten minutes a day will get you to the same place that spending 3 hours on it in one day will. Maybe not as quickly, but what’s the important part? Getting there quickly, or getting there at all. Accept your small opportunities and watch the build into a big dream. Or keep resisting the small options, wait for the big break, and be right where you are this time next year.

Accept the Seasons.  Toddlerhood. Health Crises. Moving. Job Loss. There are times in life when it’s just all hands on deck for the homelife. It’s okay. Seasons come and seasons go. Winnow things down to the basics, don’t take on more than you need to, and trust  God and The Universe that things with turn, turn, turn.

What about you? What are your tips for finding time for your personal projects? How have you made space for professional development when time and money is tight? And how do you balance being a parent and being a person. Give us all your best tips and stories in the comments below. We need you! Because “there ain’t no place to go, but together.”

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Story 1: What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it?
Story 2: How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Story 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Story 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Story 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Story 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
7tory 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Story 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Story 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Story 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Story 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Story 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Story 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Story 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.?
Stroy 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Story 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?
Story 17: How can I pursue my dreams, do the have-to’s, and not burn out?
Story 18 How can I create a spiritual community?
Story 19: What has it been like returning to the U.S. after living abroad?
Story 20: How can you create balance in your on-line life?
Story 21: How can I start a soultribe?

My brother-in-law, Jamie, is from the deep south. He told me a story once about how, as a young man, an older lady gave him a compliment. He mumbled and stumbled, trying to figure out how to respond. Finally, the lady said, “Son, just say ‘Thank you Ma’am.’”

It strikes me that the same thing happens often with gifts of love. We hem and haw. We don’t know what to say. We blush and deflect and let it slide right by.

Don’t do that today. Today, notice instead.

Notice when someone says something kind to you. Notice when someone sends an act of love — be it large or small — in your direction. Notice the litle ways love is throwing itself at you, begging to be let in. Love is winging it’s way to you. Pay attention.

And then….

Just say, “Thank You.”

What acts of love have come your way today or in recent days? What would have gone by unheeded and unwelcomed had you not been paying attention? We’d love to be inspired by the things you notice.

More Love to Receive from Magpie Girl:

• A Blessing for The Single People 
• A Blessing for Those with Partners 
• A Blessing for the Separated

The Art of Noticing is an small series dedicated to practicing presence in accessible, everyday ways. To train further in the Art of Noticing, join my mailing list . I’ll let you know when my private tutoring group is available. (Coming this April.) For more topical ways to learn along with me, try my Train with Magpie Girl Collection. Thank you for being here today!

This is the drifting time for me. Too early for my natural work-rhythms to kick in. (I rarely write before noon.) Too late to go back to sleep. Most days I take this opportunity to  go the gym, before email and tasks intervene. But today I am ride-less and the gym is too far away. So I drift. I eat a little something. I take a bath. I read a book. And the entire time — every. single. minute. — I am thinking: “I should not be doing something.”

When I suffered from chronic pain, I often had to rest most of the morning — or even most of the day. Now that I am (mostly) recovered, that physical need has abated. And yet today I wanted to lolly-gag. To be still. To go fallow.

My heart and body wanted to drift. My head was telling me otherwise.
“You should be doing something,” my Gremlins chattered at me in my skull.
“What?” I asked.

They had no answer.

Finally, too annoyed by the Gremlin voices, I put aside my book and got up to take a shower. The bathroom is sparkling clean today, and I noticed how nice it looks after it’s scrubbing.  Something as silly as the shiny-white porcelain of the toilet reminded me: “Oh! Noticing! I’m supposed to be noticing!” So I resolved, right there with the toilet bowl, to pay more attention. And as I flicked the shower curtain open I noticed something.

I didn’t need to do anything this morning but be.

Sure there is work to be done, but none of it pressing. There’s always another blog post to write, more email to answer. Or on the home front, there’s always dishes waiting in the sink, corners to be dusted. But really. Does it matter? No one is truly in need of me right now. And not even Martha Stewart cares if my mantle is dusted.

And it’s true, it is, that Jenn is swamped with homework and Paul is working long hours, and any number of people I know are over-committed and overworked. There is no doubt about that. But me scurrying about doing unnecessary tasks is not  going to change that. Me being busy just to be busy is not going to help one whit.

What if my job is to be present to my body right now? To honor this mysterious call to drift? To act on this soulful need to be fallow?
What if I just notice that this is the call of my be-ing for today?
What if I trust God, myself, and The Universe to tell me when to rest and when to act?
What if I believe that if I honor this impulse–right now–to do little, that it will in the future relase me to serve much?

What if I sit still this morning, and practice being enough.

For awhile now I have been asking: Where does soulcare and worldcare meet? Is there a model that allows us to take care ourselves and serve the world?  Where is the place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meets? 

Perhaps it is here, in the noticing. 

The reality is, “I know my call, despite my faults and despite my growing fears.” The only thing to do is to attend to the task at hand. To notice that my hand is on the plow, even if the row I am furrowing does not look the way I expected it to. Even if the ground looks like it is lying fallow.

Somehow, in the mysterious now, I know this to be true.

Amen.

This is story number 21, and it comes from Polly of Pixie Mama who asks:

Q: “What is your one tip for starting to create your own tribe.”

A:As you know, Soultribes are kinda my thing. I build them on a regular basis. I have lots of tips on how get them started, but here is my number one piece of advice: Assume Impermanance.

Every since the era of self-help, having “a family of choice” has been part of our psycho-speak. We can have the family we are born into, and a family we choose to gather around us. This concept helps us stand in our own power, and create the life we need and long for. The challenge in this modern-day lingo is that “family” is such a loaded word. “Family is Forever.” “Blood is Thicker than Water.” These slogans feed the idea that whatever group you gather around you must go on ad infinitum.

This, my friends, is not likely to be so. People move. Lifestyles change. You — you, your very growing self — you evolve, and so do the people around you. Is it any wonder that the college group that played together is not the same tribe you need now?

Assume that whatever soultribe you are forming now, or next, will be impermanent. The composition will shift. What you do together will change. People will come and go. It might even end all together. And that is okay. Natural even. Your tribe is a living thing that is emerging organically from the life you have right now. So enjoy it, right now, in it’s current incarnation. And don’t worry so much about making it last until death do us part.

So here are my tips for creating a soultribe from a place of assumed impermanence.

Start with and End Date.When you invite people over to a book group, or Sunday brunch, or to cook together, or whatever, make it short term. One afternoon, 3 Tuesdays, the first weekend of the month for 3 months. This lets people commit lightly until you figure out if you are gelling enough to keep going — and it lets you back out if you decide hosting a tribe is not your thing.

Hold it Loosely. I know mission-statements are all the rage, but don’t write one for your group. Not yet. Don’t over-define what you will be about or what you will do together right away. Try this. Try that. See what feels best.

Don’t Bring a Moving Van to the First Date.When you start playing around with the idea of a soultribe, gather people in little clusters and see what you think. Have drinks. Make dinner together. Take a walk around the lake. While you spend time together, look for things you have in common. But don’t just look for similarities. That’s boring! Keep an eye open for  interests your potential tribe-mates have that aren’t your interests, but which intrigue you. If after a few dates things start to gel and you decided to do something together on a regular basis, keep in mind that RDT (relational definition talks) are part of the process. You’ll need to chat from time to time to figure out if what you are doing together is working. And remember, if you don’t like them you aren’t obligated to go out with them again — even if they did buy you dinner. :-)

What questions do you have about  forming a soultribe? What tribes have you been a part of which nurtured you? How did they form? We’d love to hear your ideas and stories, because there ain’t nowhere to go but together.

You might also like:

Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl – an online soultribe for spiritual misfits.
(Get on our wait-list here.)
Magpie Girl’s Guide:  SoulRetreats: how to host a tribe with art and soul
How to build a Dreamboard circle
Soultribe Interview: The Knittas
Soultribe Interview: Third Saturday
Soultribe Interview: Tribes for Deep Support

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30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Story 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Story 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Story 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Story 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Story 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Story 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
7tory 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Story 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Story 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Story 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Story 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Story 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Story 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Story 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.? 
Stroy 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Story 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?
Story 17: How can I pursue my dreams, do the have-to’s, and not burn out?
Story 18 How can I create a spiritual community?
Story 19: What has it been like returning to the U.S. after living abroad?
Story 20: How can you create balance in your on-line life?

I impulsively committed to a handful of projects this year. Living a year without buying clothes. Becoming a car-free family. Answering 30 Questions in 30 Days. Having these inspiring goals was a motivating force for good in my every day– even if I didn’t meet each of them perfectly. Each project taught me intriguing life lessons, and I’m grateful for their guiding ways.

The 30Stories 30Days project isn’t finished yet. (The 30 Days part was a bit ambitious.) So now as we wrap up 2010, I’m working on making good on my offer to answer 30 questions from my readers. Today’s question comes from Jenny Wells of Jewellspring. Jenny asks the following:

Q: How does Small is Beautiful and Do Less work in the online world for you?

New Year’s is a great time to think about our commitments – to put healthy limits around the things that drain your time and energy; and to celebrate the small, powerful ways that you live your unique life.

For those of you who are new to Magpie Girl, Small is Beautiful is an online manifesto to encourage the unknown, passionate bloggers who are bravely telling their stories. And Do Less is my personal theory about how to curb busyness and increase production in life.

Small is Beautiful is a guiding concept for me when it comes to my life on-line. As a writer and as a coach, I am a very small fish in a very big pond. Reading big bloggers I adore is inspiring, and I am grateful for their work. But it can also be very disheartening — especially when I compare their big comments blocks and successful classes with my own small attempts. My gremlins get very chatty when I submerge myself in that world for too long. Do you ever feel small when you play at the big kid’s houses?

I find it helps to notice when reading other people’s blogs begins to affect you negatively. At some points in the creative cycle  being too involved in the work of others could cause your Gremlins to get chatty. “You’ll never be as successful.” “What impact are you really making?” “Their class/project/Etsy shop is doing so much better than yours.”

It may be true that others have more readership than you do. But this is not a judgment about your work or your worth. It’s just statistics. A sure-fire solution to this kind of gremlin chatter is to spend less time reading other’s work and more time doing yours. Sink into the tasks the Universe is asking you to do and watch your small efforts become beautiful again.

As far as Do Less goes, the online world is all about MORE. More social networking, more resources, more joint projects. Twitter, Facebook, and your RSS feed can start to take over your “one wild precious life.” Often times you must Do Less to accomplish more.

The key here is to go with what is functional. If online services are serving you well – if they make you more productive, grow your business, or help you keep in touch with important family and friends – then keep them. If they feel like some sort of vague obligation, let them go. Keep in mind too that different online activities will serve you at various points in your life. When I was living abroad, Twitter was a fantastic way for me to connect with like-minded folks. Now that I am back in a country where I can speak my native tongue, it’s become less essential to me.  Where once I checked in several times a day, now I only visit Twitter a few times a week – on Monday’s for Monday #intentions and on Fridays for #honorurwork. Now, doing less on Twitter helps me do more for my readers.

How about you? What small things bring beauty into your life? What do you need to do less of so you can live more? We’d love to hear what things are coming to the forefront of your awareness today.

30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Story 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Story 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Story 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Story 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Story 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Story 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
7tory 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Story 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Story 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Story 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Story 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Story 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Story 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Story 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.? 
Stroy 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Story 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?
Story 17: How can I pursue my dreams, do the have-to’s, and not burn out?
Story 18 How can I create a spiritual community?
Story 19: What has it been like returning to the U.S. after living abroad?

Q: What has it been like returning stateside after life abroad?

Here is my story, “told live without notes“, about how we are living differently in the States after nearly 3 years in Copenhagen.

30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Story 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Story 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Story 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Story 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Story 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Story 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
7tory 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Story 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Story 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Story 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Story 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Story 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Story 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Story 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.? 
Stroy 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Story 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?
Story 17: How can I pursue my dreams, do the have-to’s, and not burn out?
Day 18: How can I create a spiritual community?

ONE PLACE LEFT to ask a question for 30Stories!  Email me your question along with the link to your blog, and I’ll book you a date on my 30Stories whirlwind. (Ooooo…I do so love getting behind the mic to answer your questions!)

Q: What advice would you give to someone who would like to create a spiritual community?

To read my answer just CLICK HERE.

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ONE PLACE LEFT to ask a question for 30 Stories in 30Days!  Email me your question along with the link to your blog, and I’ll book you a date on my 30Stories whirlwind. (Ooooo…I do so love getting behind the mic to answer your questions!)

30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Day 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Day 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Day 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Day 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Day 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Day 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
Day 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Day 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Day 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Day 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Day 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Day 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Day 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Day 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.?
Day 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Day 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?
Day 17: How can I pursue my dreams, do the have-to’s, and not burn out?

Q: How do you chase your dreams while still having to do the have-to’s without burning out?

The language of your question is revealing in and of itself. Did you notice your verb? Chase. It’s quite driven isn’t it? Not just compelled but also propelled.

Many of us feel that our life is like this – pushed around by forces that are not within our control. It can be maddening to try to figure out how to make space for one’s creative dreams, while still doing the work, chores, and child-rearing of everyday life.  Here are some tips and techniques I’ve found helpful.

• Adjust to right-fit expectations. Notice I didn’t say “lower” your expectations. This is not about setting your sights low, it’s about healthy function. Be realistic about the amount of time and space you have for your dreams, and trust that this is enough. (And it will be.)
• Work in small snippets. Sometimes we don’t work on our dream because we want a big chunk of time in which we can do it all at once. Even ten-minute increments will add up to a finished project eventually. Do what you can when you can.
• Do Less.One of the issues I see in my coaching practice is that people are not willing to do less to make space for their dreams. Your kids might not be able to be in two sports. You might not be able to be in your book any more. Dinners might have to get a lot simpler. Society tells us a lot of “shoulds,” but really very few of them are essential. You can to Do Less to Live More.
• Rest. You cannot pursue your dreams when you are drop-dead tired. Get sleep. Practice Sabbath. Take a day off. You have to fill-up to create something new. Even a little rest can shore you up for a new burst of creativity.
• Make a Pact. When you are spinning a dream, having a withmate can be a big help. Together, you can help each other focus, set right-fit goals, and break each other out of stuck points. What might a creative partnership look like for you?

What about you? What are your tips and techniques for getting your chore list done and pursuing your dreams? We’d love to hear what works for you, because “there ain’t nowhere to go but together.”

You might also like:
7 Ways to Find Time For Creativity (Video)

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ONE PLACE LEFT to ask a question for 30 Stories in 30Days!  Email me your question along with the link to your blog, and I’ll book you a date on my 30Stories whirlwind. (Ooooo…I do so love getting behind the mic to answer your questions!)

Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Day 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Day 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Day 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Day 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Day 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Day 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
Day 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Day 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Day 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Day 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Day 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Day 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Day 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Day 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.?
Day 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?
Day 16: As your spirituality expands, does God stay personal?

Today Bethany asks:

Q: As your spiritual horizons expand and you move into uncharted religious territory, how do you keep your connection with God personal?

In a lot of ways my connection with God is far less personal. The longer I live outside of institutionalized religion, the less God feels like someone I must constantly talk to and cajole. More and more often God is less personalized to me and more ambiguous – like a Force or Energy. I still feel and believe that there is something beyond myself—beyond this mortal coil. But I’m less convinced that that Something is an anthropomorphic be-ing who is invested I my every step or misstep. I feel more like my spiritual work is to align myself with a positive creative Force, the Source of creation. (Which, actually, is a very Genesis type of thing, as the first thing we know about God is that “In the beginning, God created…)

This shift from a personalized, highly-involved God to something wider and less humanoid can be unsettling for a lot of people. I often get questions around the idea of: “Well, if God is not personally in charge or me or personally involved with my life, what does that mean!??!” It’s a big shift, and not everyone makes it, or even needs to make it. The important thing is that you follow your gut and try-out different constructs around who God is and how God interacts with the world. Keep in mind that even within your own religious institution there has been any number of ways to understand this throughout history and across denominations. Ask an Orthodox Jew and a Reformed Jew how they interact with The Divine and you will get two very different answers. Ask a Christian Mystic and a Christian Apologetic the same question and there will be a great deal of variation in their answers. It is a normal part of spiritual development to test out different ways of understanding and relating to The Divine.

For myself there was a period during my transition from conservative evangelicalism to post-modern interfaith practice where I did feel quite detached from God as I knew him/her. It was a nerve wracking period. One thing that helped me get through was that friend often asked me “Can you go back?” And my answer was always intuitively and powerfully, “No.” That strong reaction propelled me into new exploration and discovery.

Once I got some distance from my former ways of interacting with God, and gave myself permission to test out different practices and constructs, things improved. I now feel more strongly connected and guided by God/The Universe/The Divine. Jesus has shifted from Cosmic Confidant to Wise Teacher. God has become more a Universal guiding energy, rather than the sometimes grumpy Grandfather-in-the-Sky. And I now recognize the Holy Spirit as The Muse.  Renaming the Spirit has allowed me to tap more strongly into the Feminine Divine – an aspect of God which has been suppressed in the church by centuries of patriarchal power-plays. Freed from the bounds of patriarchal dictums about how God communicates and what God communicates, I am more likely to hear The Divine through my intuition, through the serendipitous moments of my day, and in the voice and hearts of others whom I know to be attentive to holy moments.

What about you? Do you have a “personal” relationship with God? What does that look like for you? Has your understanding about God shifted over the years? Has that made God more or less relational and interactive to you? We’d love to know, “cuz there ain’t no place to go but together.”

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Do you need support in your evolving spiritual journey? We’d like to invite you to join our online soulcare community, Flock. We are dedicated to “finding a spirituality that fits.” You can read posts and watch Flock videos here, or click here for more information. Join us before the end of the year and you’ll have our introductory price for-evah. Let us know if we can help.

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ONE PLACE LEFT to ask a question for 30 Stories in 30Days!  Email me your question along with the link to your blog, and I’ll book you a date on my 30Stories whirlwind. (Ooooo…I do so love getting behind the mic to answer your questions!)

Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Day 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Day 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Day 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Day 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Day 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Day 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
Day 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Day 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Day 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Day 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Day 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Day 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Day 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Day 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.?
Day 15: How does nature affect your spirituality, and why do you say you have a soft spot for Pagans?

Q: How does nature fit into your spiritual perspective and why do you say you have a soft spot for pagans.

As children, my cousins and I used to joke that we were the prototypes for the story of Country Mouse City Mouse. They lived in the Sierra Nevada’s and were happiest when they were on a mountain top, on the river, or climbing some impossible height. We lived in the city and were well-fed on the museums, performance halls, and amongst re-known architecture. As adults, my cousin’s spirituality is deep steeped in the natural world, while and mine feeds off of art.

That being said, even this city girl is guided by the nature. The turning of the seasons is of great import to me spiritually, and each one is celebrated in our home. The Fall Equinox(Mabon) finds us expressing gratitude and embracing abundance as we host an annual party where we feast as our guests fill our family shrine with nuts, leaves, and other examples of Autumnal goodness. Winter Solstice (Yule) means costumed finery, communal art projects, and an all-volunteer feast organized by our local arts council. If you peek into our backyard on the Spring Equinox (Ostara) you’ll find the girls and I doing Yoga poses for Mama Earth. And Summer Solstice (Midsummer) finds us dancing down the street in the local Solstice Parade.

When I was serving as a traditional pastor at a conservative evangelical church, I joined the Fremont Arts Councilas an “outreach” opportunity. I quickly discovered that the artist and the neo-pagans in that community were more Christ-like than many so-called Christians. The “pagans” – who in my paradigm at the time were going to hell—were loving, generous, eager to understand the other, forgiving, and deeply accepting of  “the least, the last, and an the lost.” I was deeply inspired by the testimony of their lives. Much to my religious friend’s chagrin, I was often found wearing an “I ♥ Pagans”  tee-shirt. (So much for evangelism! Who convert who?)

Life with the artful pagans led me to study the pagan roots of the Christian traditions. I was energized and inspired by the deep historic connections – many of which honor more feminine ways of knowing, and free Christianity from patriarchal manipulation. The pagan roots of Christianity (seen even more easily in Jewish traditions, as Judaism is the older, parent-tradition to Christianity) are fascinating to me and inspire me to new ways of expressing my faith.

Now, years later, in my own right-fit spirituality, the teachings of Jesus are still bedrock to my beliefs and to my way of living. But we also celebrate home-based Jewish traditions, and “lite” versions of some neo-pagan and Wiccan rites—especially around the natural year. I call this eclectic mix “The High Holy Days” and teach all the seasonal holidays in our online community Flock, where each member adapts my suggestions based on their own spiritual hybrid. I believe God dances in ten-thousand places, and I’d like to celebrate any and all of them.

What about you? How does nature affect your spirituality? Are your (pagan) roots showing?  We’d love to hear all about it, “’cuz there ain’t no place to go but together.”

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ONE PLACE LEFT to ask a question for 30 Stories in 30Days!  Email me your question along with the link to your blog, and I’ll book you a date on my 30Stories whirlwind. (Ooooo…I do so love getting behind the mic to answer your questions!)

30 Stories : 30Days – The Collection

Day 1:  What is the intersect between work and play and how can I find it? 
Day 2:  How has your spirituality shaped your sexuality?
Day 3: IRL and Online Friendships: same? different? balanced.
Day 4: How can I connect with my neighborhood?
Day 5: What do I do if my partner and I have different faiths?
Day 6: What are you doing to make a difference in this world?
Day 7: What is your highest high and what can you learn from it?
Day 8: What role has massage played in your life?
Day 9: How can I make administrative tasks a creative/spiritual practice?
Day 10: What has it meant to you to have your birthday so near Halloween?
Day 11: How can I manage resistance around my art?
Day 12: I want to establish some kind of spiritual practice. Where do I start?
Day 13: What is your primary spiritual practice?
Day 14: Do you prefer living in Europe or in the U.S.?