I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the word “simple.”

I like simple joys. Noticing a blossom. Cooking in a quiet kitchen. Knitting in garter stitch.

And yet I tend to complicated things. I like my men intricate. I like my children smart. I like my communities honest. I like my spirituality customized.

When I was in ordained ministry, my mentor used to say “You only preach the sermons you need to hear.” Perhaps that is why I am so often inviting you to do less, to slow down and notice–because the sermon I need to hear, often and on endless repeat, is “be simple.”

These past few weeks I’ve noticed a lot of my decisions have not erred on the side of simple. Here is the evidence:

The puppy does not want her $8 dog toy, she wants the cap from the hairspray bottle.

My family prefers simple roasted tomatoes over the six-step carbonara sauce.

A rotating schedule of various types of yoga sounds virtuous, but yoga only happens if I hit the same class at the same time, every day.

Calling a friend for a chat is a lot easier than trying to form a women’s circle.

I forgot to keep it simple.

I’ve noticed that this happens most when I am over scheduled. Flying from thing to thing is not grounding. And the last few weeks of summer got a little chaotic. When things move too fast they lose their meaning. Or rather, we cannot experience their meaning because they slip by too quickly.  When this happens, my first impulse to make each event more meaningful by adding a layer of complexity. The note for the neighbor-girl’s birthday suddenly has to be a mixed media collage. The dinner for a friend has to be eggplant lasagna, not tacos. And yet, at times like these what I need to do is strip things down to their essential core; to slow things down and let my life be the purest of water.

The place I’ve most noticed my tendency towards complexification is in my online soulcare community, Flock. When I launched Flock two years ago I gave it a lot of bells and whistles. Eight ongoing teachers! Live calls! Forums! I was eager to host you and to host you well, and I wanted to give you a big bang for you buck. The result was that the whole complex thing was held together with tinfoil and chewing gum. And when I hired a developer to shore up the website’s structure, the “improvements” sent it crashing.

First I got mad. Then I sobbed. Then I had an epiphany.

Flock was not simple.

Stitching together various software programs made things complicated behind the scenes. I spent more time fiddling with bad links and buggy software than I spent with my community. My core competencies –writing and teaching–were getting pushed aside by technical bells and whistles. I needed to get back to The Simple.

When I first realized the entire structure of my two-year project had to be changed, I was devastated. I immediately started grieving. I had to mourn the hours I had put in, the dreams I had held. Someone once told me not to get nostalgic about the imagined future. As a visionary this is easy to do–to get attached to a version of the future that you’ve nurtured in your imagination. I had to stop being nostalgic for a version of online community that was not within my skill set. I had to say goodbye to that vision. I had to grieve it’s loss.

To my surprise, this grieving process has kicked me out of my State of Complication. I feel stripped down, and bare. For a few days I was so sad that I had to focus on the very basics.  Get up. Feed the children. Listen. Sleep. Repeat. Living in that mandated state of simplicity helped me notice my hunger for ease, for flow, for the way your path is easier to walk when you aren’t resistant to the reality of your circumstances.

Now that the grief is starting to pass, I’m beginning to have new visions. Simpler visions.

I am slowing down and letting the new form of Flock come into focus. As I do so, I am practicing the discipline of simplicity. I keep trying to complicate things — to add more layers and make it more spectacular. But really, my whole gig is about the simple soulful moments in life. So every time my plans wander into things that require flow charts and multi-colored sharpies, I call myself back to simplicity.

What about you, my Magpie? What in your life could stand a little simple? Maybe your meals could fit in one bowl instead of three courses. Maybe you could be nicer to your body just by drinking an extra glass of water. Maybe you could rest more by taking in less media. Maybe you can be kind to your own tender soul.

My blessing for you today is this: May simple joy, simple beauty, and simple solutions greet you at every bend in the river.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle
*your magpie girl

Christine Claire Reed is a dancer, an intuitive healing dance educator, and a writer at blisschick.net She returned to dance at the age of 40 and has been experimenting with her body ever since. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, and her website.

SoulCare: Caring for the Soul through the Body
by Christine Reed

In some Celtic traditions, they describe the soul as residing outside the body rather than in.  They say we are walking around inside the soul.  I love the imagery this evokes, and it also matches Eastern beliefs about our aura extending out from the physical body.  (There is so much cross-over and exchange between the East and the Celts, but that is for another time.)

When I am leading intuitive healing dance, I emphasize the body as the gate to the spirit and teach that the breath is the key that opens that gate.  These three elements are inextricably bound together; we cannot separate them and if we try, dis-ease (of mind, body, and/or spirit) is the result.

For instance, it is a fallacy to believe that it is possible — or even a “right” goal — to ever transcend the body. We are manifested physically to have a physical experience, to grow spirit through sensually attained wisdom.

To take the most excellent care of your soul or your spirit means taking the most excellent care of your body.

To grow the soul, to attain wisdom, we must be firmly rooted in the body and the body must be attended to every day in a gentle and loving way.

Too many of us compartmentalize our body care.  For instance, we think in terms of “exercise” and “task” and “goal” and “obligation,” rather than joyful play and experimentation.

We head to the gym and beat ourselves up with machinery.  We try to eat “perfectly” rather than for pleasure.  We avoid “bad foods.”

The body is seen as a vehicle for the mind and spirit when it is an equal to each of those aspects of ourselves.

And yet…

I think this is what happens in a culture founded by Puritans.

As I sit in Mass a few times a week, I ponder the body on the crucifix.  I think about how it is an empty cross that hangs in protestant churches and this makes sense in a culture that sees the body as never good enough or even sinful.  The body is the point, the crucifix says to me.  The body is the point, most paganism cries out.

Even in some factions of the yoga community, we are dangerously close to throwing the body out yet again.  We are dangerously close to becoming Puritanical Yoginis as more writers and thinkers in that community are judgmental of anyone’s yoga which they perceive as too body centered and not “spiritual” enough.

To tend to the soul, we must tend to the body.

How do you tend to your most precious self?

Here is a very basic level practice for intuitive healing dance:  Pick a piece of music.  Drumming is great. Anything by the avant garde cellist Zoe Keating is amazing for this exercise.  Preferably something with which you have no history.  Put the music on when you are feeling very safe.  Stand with eyes closed and near no mirrors.  Start the music and just breathe deeply into the belly.  Imagine that you are pulling breath and energy up through your feet as you inhale, and then share energy back down into the earth as you exhale.  Keep doing this until movement happens. Do not move on your own. Wait until breath and rhythm compel the movement from the inside. (Have your music on repeat in case this takes many minutes.)  Remember to envision your body INSIDE your soul and see your dancing as a way to clean out this critical area and make way for fresh, invigorated, creative energy.

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What about you, dear Magpies? Do you move your body as form of soulcare?  What is your right-fit spiritual practice?  Tell us about it the comments!

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Ready to pay-it-forward? The kitties need you! Christine supports Orphaned Angels, a sanctuary and adoption center for orphaned cats.  As a thank-you for her post today, Magpie Girl has made a donation in her honor. Did this piece help you? Please click here to give to a kitty.

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• Can we take care of ourselves (and our families, and our jobs) and have enough (emotion, money, time) to give away?
• Can we bring hope to dark places without burning out?
• Can we afford to fall in love with a cause?
• Can we use art to serve our world?

Yes. Yes, we can.

To that end, Magpie Girl is proud to feature new projects where Art walks hand-in-hand with Service. (They make a nice couple, don’t you think?) Each of these projects will be funded through donations made to Kickstarter, an excellent site dedicated to helping artful start-ups micro-source the funding they need. (You know, so they can do Big Things without burning out.) Here’s a great project to give a dime to this month…

Within Every Women-The Film

Women.  What comes to mind when you think of women?  Many of think of bravery, of strength, of overcoming spirits.  It’s a story that permeates throughout the world—women who overcome great challenges to survive for their sake and the sake of their families and their communities.

Within Every Women is a documentary that seeks to tell the stories of women in Asia who were forced into sexually slavery during World War II.  During World War II many women and even female children were held in military  “comfort” camps in South Korea, China and the Philippines.  It is “considered the largest institutionalized rape system in world history.”  The film aims to tell the stories of the “Grandmothers,” as they are now called, who endured such harsh treatment. The film is meant to “help peel back the layers of silence, shame and sacrifice they have endured…[and] reveal their wisdom, resilience and compassion.”

In order to reach a mass audience Within Every Women has asked for funding through Kickstarter.  They are just days away from their deadline and are still in need of almost $500.

Please visit their Kickstarter page to watch their videos, read their story and to contribute to Within Every Women.  Lets help tell these stories through art and bring about healing not just for the “Grandmothers” of Asia, but for all women who have experienced abuse.

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Where Soulcare meets Worldcare is a once-a-month series featuring projects through Kickstarter and independent projects. To read about our previously supported projects click here.  Thanks for being here today.

• Can we take care of ourselves (and our families, and our jobs) and have enough (emotion, money, time) to give away?
• Can we bring hope to dark places without burning out?
• Can we afford to fall in love with a cause?
• Can we use art to serve our world?

Yes. Yes, we can.

To that end, Magpie Girl is proud to feature projects where Art walks hand-in-hand with Service. (They make a nice couple, don’t you think?)  This month we’re featuring Jenn, the Magpie assistant!

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Jenn, who are you and what are you doing?

I am a Seattle based student and writer (and Rachelle’s assistant).  I am currently studying International Development and Anthropology.  This summer I’m taking part in a 2-week trip to Rajasthan, India.  I’ll be working with a group of medical professionals as well as engineers, faculty, and students.  We’ll be providing dental care, general medicine and building composting toilets. Many of the people we’ll be working with live in extreme poverty.  They have little access to health care and due to the lack of sanitation infrastructure they often suffer from water related illness.  By providing health care and implementing sustainable sanitation facilities the project will address immediate needs and put a strategy into place for long-term health.

1. How did you become passionate about your subject/project?

In 2006 I went on an around the world trip that gave me the opportunity to volunteer in South Asia and The Middle East.  Before this trip I had very little awareness of poverty and no understanding of infrastructure and public health.  Everywhere I worked I encountered refugees and those considered to be the “poorest of the poor.”  After the 2006 trip and two months in Turkey in 2007 I read a number of books about global health and infrastructure.  I also started learning about displaced people and asylum seekers.  My passion was immediately directed to Central Asia.  My eyes were opened to the great disparity between the rich and the poor.  I realized how many people are impoverished and oppressed.  It only made sense that I would commit my life to empowerment and helping communities access the resources they need to build better futures for themselves, their families and their countries.   (Read my blog for more stories about India).

2. How do you feel your art helps care for the communities you are focusing on?

I try to tell people’s stories in a way that gives them dignity.  It’s a not a direct path yet, from my work to their lives. However, I know that I’m helping make people aware of both the needs and the strength of those living in poverty.   Because my focus right now is primarily my education I’m able to expand my research and continue volunteering overseas.  Both of these things give me the depth of information I need as well as the face-to-face experience needed to truthfully tell someone’s story.  I’m excited about the trip in August because when I first set out in 2006 I had no idea that this was what I was going to become passionate about.  My ears, eyes and heart will open in a whole new way on this trip.  I’ve learned how to listen not for my sake, but for theirs. In the end I hope that inspires people to give to these communities in sustainable ways as well as learn about the issues that plague much of the world. I hope people take action.

3. How does your passion for world-care nourish you?

Without that passion I am nothing.  I’m not sure how to explain it. Being able to take the time to read The Economist or watch Al Jezeera is really restful for me.  I think when I am constantly reminded that the world is bigger than some of the petty things around me it reminds me of why I work so hard.  During the dead of winter in Seattle it can be really hard to get out of bed in the morning.  I often need to remind myself that I’m doing it for the children in Afghanistan who don’t yet have the opportunity to go to school or for women who die or suffer from pregnancy related complications because they had no way to get a hospital.   Reminding myself that I am part of the greater global community revives me and gives me the energy I need keep pursuing me goals.  The idea of giving life helps give me life.

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To Donate: The project runs from August 20^th to September 3^rd.  I received a $500 scholarship for the trip but still need an additional $2500 to cover the remainder of the costs (program fee, airfare, visa, vaccination, ect.).   I already have around $1610 (in addition to the scholarship) saved and donated!  If you want to donate to the trip you can do so through the donate button on my blog.

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For more information (and some inspiration) please check out…

Documentaries: Born into Brothels, Motherland Afghanistan, A Walk to Beautiful, The End of Poverty

Books: The End of Poverty, Jeffery Sachs; Mountains Beyond Mountains, Tracey Kidder; Anything by Dr. Paul Farmer; Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof; Little Bee, Chris Cleave

Websites: The Girl Effect, Al Jezeera—Witness, Marinne Elliot, Zen Peacekeeper

• Can we take care of ourselves (and our families, and our jobs) and have enough (emotion, money, time) to give away?
• Can we bring hope to dark places without burning out?
• Can we afford to fall in love with a cause?
• Can we use art to serve our world?

Yes. Yes, we can.

To that end, Magpie Girl is proud to feature new projects where Art walks hand-in-hand with Service. (They make a nice couple, don’t you think?) Introducing blogger Graciel of Evenstar Art and her new magazine…

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Our lives are full of constant change. Our seasons are remembered in the form of tastes, smells, sounds and images.  Graciel from Evenstar Art has put these images into magazine form.

Using past blog posts and images from her travels around the world, she published the first issue of The Soul in Bloom in early April.   She wants “the messages of hope and love and encouragement to stand out…to uplift and give encouragement to any one who reads it.”

The Spring Issue of The Soul in Bloom is the first of four issues to be published this year highlighting the seasons of Graciel’s five-year blogging adventure. Wouldn’t this beautiful book be a great way to connect Soulcare with Worldcare. Leave it in the waiting room of a hospital or medical office. Give it to someone at a nursing home. Or give one to your child’s teacher as a thank you give.

Spread beauty. Spread love.

Graciel brings us her bits of beauty and love through 47 pages of images and beautifully written essays.  The magazines, printed on demand for the sake of art not profit, are available here for $14.95 + shipping.

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Graciel is an inquisitive artist, floral arranger and blogger.  She lives in New York state and helps stray cats find loving homes.  The ventures overseas and shares her life with us at Evenstar Art.

This post is part of an on-going series inspired by reader’s comments to this initial post. To read all the posts on Standing in Your Own Power, click here.

Muscle testing is great for getting around chatty Gremlins and circumnavigating self-sabotaging thoughts. It helps you stand in your own power by tapping into your body’s deep wisdom and intuition. Here’s how to do it in a few easy steps. (You’ll need a friend to help you.)

1) Write the different things you are considering on small pieces of paper. Create a range of options. For instance, if you are try to decide to help a friend out of financial straits, your options could be:

• “Should I loan them X amount of dollars.”
• “Should I loan them x (smaller amount) of dollars?”
• “Should I give them  x amount of dollars?”

2) First, while standing, shake your hands to discharge any tensions or energy you are holding around the decision making process. Ask your friend, the Tester, to do the same.

3) Extend your non-dominate hand out to one side, parallel to the ground. Have your Tester press down on your forearm to gauge how much strength you generally have in that arm. (The Tester can put one hand on your opposite shoulder for counter balance, but this may not be necessary.)

4) Now hold the first decision option in your other hand. Extend your non-dominate arm again and have your Tester press down on it with the same amount of force. If your arm remains strong, your body is intuitively telling you that is a decision your mind/body are in agreement with. If it weakens or goes down, it’s the wrong answer.

5) Between each test, move away from the slips of paper and shake off your hands. (Have the tester do the same.) When you hold each price in your hand, think about the decision, and imagine completing that option. You can also do this “blind” by folding the pieces of paper in half. It’s interesting to see if you get the same results.

Have fun and let me know how this technique works for you!

Need a community around you to support you on your quest to Stand in Your Own Power? Flock can help. Join our trailblazing group of women as we dedicate ourselves to “finding a spirituality

Train with Magpie Girl is an on-going series designed to help you learn the ropes of creative, empowered living. From emotional support to practical Tools of the Trade — get the insider info you need. Click here to see all my training tips. Email me your sticking points! I’m happy to help. Thank you for being here.

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if you are alone today
and the rain falls cold
your head, uncovered.

If your work falters
if the audience fades, if
the solutions seem right
there,
just beyond your fingers.

If you cannot find the one
ephemeral
slippery
answer you need.

If your vision
oustrips your resources.

I am with you.

I am with you in
the ache.
In the longing that is
a dream deferred.

In the trying and the failure and
in the next attempt
I am with you.

In the résistance,
in the campaign, in
the artful vendetta,
I am with you

In the setting of the sails
in the spilling of new ink, there
at the very edge of the map,
I am with you.

Steady now.
The Cape is just around the corner.

Be brave upon the rocks.

This post is part of an on-going series inspired by reader’s comments to this initial post. To read all the posts on Standing in Your Own Power, click here.

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Today in our Standing in Your Own Power series, I’d like to share a visualization technique taught to me by Leonie  Allen, host of Goddess Guidebook and creator of the Chakra Healing Guided Meditation Kit.  (And now proud new mama of baby Ostara!)

Last year, I called Leonie because I was feeling insecure – tossed about by a fistful of opinions and ideas, none of which I was sure were mine. Leonie walked me through a chakra cleansing process (something I know very little about.) She said my Manipura Chakra, in the solar plexus, was dim. The Manipura Chakra is the source of personal power and will power.  So Leonie asked me to focus on that chakra in this way:

1) Visualize a yellow or golden symbol of power. (A scepter immediately sprang to mind for me.)
2) From a comfortable seated position, place your hands over your solar plexus (navel).
3)  Take ten deep breaths focusing on your solar plexus and visualizing your power symbol there.

I did this every morning for about a month to encourage a feeling of being rooted in a place of personal power. (It really helped!)

Do you have any meditative techniques that help you stand in your own power? Mantras that ground you? Images that help you stay strong? Do tell in the comments below and contribute the giant pool of wisdom, now forming at Magpie Girl.

Have you seen Fond of Snape’s 365 days series? That woman really gets whimsy!

This post is part of an on-going series inspired by reader’s comments to this initial post. To read all the posts on Standing in Your Own Power, click here.
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My favorite form of exercise is swimming, which I do several times a week. Conventional wisdom says I should follow a training program. You know the drill — so many laps of this kind of stroke, so many of that. Instead, I tend to just lollygag along with a nice even-paced breaststroke. Why? So I can concentrate. On what you say? On fan fiction.

As an NF (as in Meyers Briggs ENFJ) I get super-involved with stories. There is an almost constant narrative going on in my head. I wonder what the deal is with that older woman with 4 babies in one stroller? What would have happened if I had done drama in college? Where did the bus driver immigrate from? This is especially true for me with TV characters. I finished Big Love season 3 weeks ago, and I’m still wondering “How is Margene’s small business going?” When I watch a story I get very, VERY involved.

But I’m also a high ranking “J” in Meyers Briggs, which means I am quite serious most of the time. I wonder a lot about the merits of my decisions. I worry almost obsessively over the question, “What’s next?” All that worry and wondering can be powerful. It lets me live with intention and encourages me to cast my Mondo Beyondo dreams out into the Universe. But it can also become a burden, weighing me down and making me curmudgeonly.

I used to use my pool time to make plans for the day, writing and re-writing long tuex duex lists in my head and hoping I’d remember them until I could get my hands on a pen. Then one day I found my mind wandering to some TV show or another, creating a new plot line for a favorite character.

“Nonsense,” said my Gremlins. “What a waste of time.” (Gremlins are very good at listening to Conventional Wisdom.)

“Voila!” said The Muse. “Embrace whimsy.”

And so now as I swim, I write stories in my head. Right now I’m enjoying a sub-plot for the character of Walter Bishop on The Fringe. He delights me. In my whimsical version he is the benevolent ringmaster of a traveling circus. I think it may all be in his mind — a sort of coping mechanism during his stay in the mental institution. It’s ever so entertaining and makes 45 minutes of lap time just fly by!

Now, if you are still with me you may be wondering, “What has this got to do with standing in your own power?” In response I ask you to remember that whimsy is the antidote to blind obedience. Practicing Whimsy helps you thumb your nose at what “they” say. It tunes into your internal voice of play and wonder, and turns down the overly-ambitious workaholic voice that our consumerist, Protestant-work-ethic culture has hammered into our heads. It frees you.

Go ahead, give it at try. What whimsical impulse lies at the tip of your tongue? Here are some fun ones I can think of:

-Buy a basket of strawberries (yes, even out of season.)
-Use Crayolas.
-Ask a stranger to let you pet their puppy.
-That thing you loved doing as a kid — rollerskating, making models, lining up the dominoes. Do it again.
-Spin in circles until you collapse on the grass. Watch the clouds spin.
-Wear ponytails, braids, striped socks.

What will you do today to re-introduce yourself to whimsy? Tell us in the comments below and be an inspiration to our oh-so-serious selves. To read more about Whimsy, click here and here.

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Need a community around you to support you on your quest to Stand in Your Own Power? Flock can help. Join our trailblazing group of women as we dedicate ourselves to “finding a spirituality that fits.” Click here to learn more.

My current method of corresponding with The Muse — letters to Vincent.

This is an on-going series inspired by reader’s comments to this initial post. To read all the posts on Standing in Your Own Power, click here.

To me, the Muse is that internal voice that guides and inspires me. She is not an external guest who comes to visit, but an internal source of wisdom dwelling within. Because the language of the Trinity is meaningful to me and because the world of creativity and art are so intrinsic to whom I am – I have come to think of The Muse and The Spirit synonymously.  She turns my head, shows me where to go, and as we travel she holds my hand (or gives me a shove!)  

Standing in your own power requires that you stop listening to external sources of authority, and learn to tune into your internal voice of authority – your instinct, your intuition, your Muse. Corresponding with The Muse turns down the volume on the external static, and turns up the dial on your intuitive voice.

Embracing Whimsy is one of the main ways I have come to correspond with The Muse. To me the language of whimsy is The Muse’s native tongue—my native tongue, long forgotten.  I have been well-trained by the Institutions (external authority). Their voice is familiar to me. It is the language I have spoke then longest. Their instructions about “how it is done” ring loud in my ears. I tend to blindly obey the institutional voice.

Whimsy is the antidote to blind obedience.  Whimsy is my native tongue, though I barely remember a time when I spoke it so easily. Now, whenever I have the impulse to do something “they” would think is ridiculous, I recognize it as Whimsy, the voice of the Muse, and I try to leap. This helps me stretch my “listening-to-my-intuition” muscles, and lets me practices saying “yes” to intuition. Here are some things that I’ve done which seem Whimsical to me (and therefore inspired by The Muse):

-I moved to Denmark just to do something different.
-I have regularly have breakfast with Vincent Van Gogh (his books and art) and write him letters.
-I joined a Danish gospel choir, though I can’t understand a thing the director is saying.
-I bought a vintage scrapbook of Danish theatre performances with hand drawn illustrations.

None of these things makes much sense. Certainly “they” would not suggest such a course of action. Yet each of them has shaped my life in a significant way. Each of them is transforming me, helping me become. The Muse and her voice of Whimsy led me here. Without her I would not have found my way.

What does the Muse sound like in your heart, in your ear? How might you correspond with her? Literally– though writing her letters (and penning her answers back)? Verbally–through talking aloud in an empty room, through singing in the shower? Physically — through the sign language of yoga, or running, or swimming? Where can you hear the voice of your inspiration? How can you camp out there and practice your native tongue?

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Need a community around you to support you on your quest to Stand in Your Own Power? Flock can help. Join our trailblazing group of women as we dedicate ourselves to “finding a spirituality that fits.” Click here to learn more.

What kind of questions do the Flock experts answer? When you have a Life Coach, a Sexologist, a Mental Health Counselor, a Dream Counselor, and a Money Healer on staff, the answer is almost anything. Here’s an example…

Originally posted in the Flock, February 3 2010.

Hello, Flock! Welcome to our first dream session with Karen Mori Bonner, MS, LPC. This month, a Flock Dreamer sends this dream:

It’s a recurring dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember and it always involves being in a big, dark, warm and comforting house full of rich wood and soft lamplight, lots of windy corridors and nooks and crannies for curling up and reading. I know it’s my house and I always marvel as how I can afford such a gorgeous, large home. But…at some point there’s a party happening downstairs and I go along and try to join in. It’s a work-related party with people I hate and I can’t figure out whether I’ve invited them or they’ve just turned up. I think from the conversation (which I can never remember) that they’re all much more intelligent than I am. I get really annoyed that they’re in my house and I can’t work out why. At some point then the house disappears and we’re in some kind of open-air venue that feels alien to me. Then I wake up!

Karen Replies:

Thank you, Dreamer! First, a reminder: I can’t (won’t) interpret the dream; I will make suggestions and comment on themes and larger symbolism found in the dream. It’s the responsibility of our Dear Dreamer to try these on and discard anything that doesn’t fit and produce that “a-HA!” moment.

Recurring dreams – Dreams come as pictures or little plays from our unconscious to tell us something about ourselves we do not already know. Think of a recurring dream as a blinking neon sign – you haven’t got the message yet.

Big dark warm comforting house – Often (not always) houses represent the psyche itself – where we live in our heads. This is especially true about “dream” houses that we don’t know from waking life like this one. A common theme is to discover a downstairs or an upstairs or more rooms than we thought – our psyche is bigger than we think and we’re only conscious of a limited area.

Party/downstairs – There is always a party going on in the unconscious! References to downstairs, underground, under water can be about deeper, not yet conscious places in our psyche. The party may refer to the dynamic elements in our psyche – our complexes. Don’t get excited about complexes. They are not necessarily positive or negative – they are just constellations of psychological energies that make up who we are based on our experiences and the emotions that accompanied them. (Say that three times fast!)

Work-related – the dream may be a comment on your work life, Dreamer – but not necessarily. However, that’s what I’d consider first if it were my dream.

People I hate – Ahhhh…. Here it is. Remember! Every thing and every one in our dreams are parts of us. Oh, NO! These “people I hate” are our Shadow. Parts of ourselves we’ve disowned, disavowed, devalued. Yet Psyche is always moving to reunite us with our split off selves so we can become conscious of them. Why? So we don’t project that shadowy stuff onto other people! The work for this Dreamer is to examine carefully the “people I hate” and come to see what part of that is her. We are selectively blind about ourselves but greater consciousness is called for in the world and it starts with us. Yikes! No wonder Dreamer (dream ego) is annoyed! Such an examination and call to consciousness may call for – brace yourselves! Change!
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Flock: Soulcare with Magpie Girl is an online soulspa full of support, guidance, inspiration and community. This private membership site creates a safe haven dedicated to “finding a spirituality that fits.” Please stop by to learn more about our current offerings, meet our professional soulcare providers, or to join us in the Flock.

Ah, telling the truth. Sometimes it can feel risky, costly, even terrifying.

One area where I have had to do a lot of risky-feeling truth-telling is in the area of religion. I grew up in the church, spent tens of thousands of dollars on a seminary education, and worked in religious institutions until my mid-30’s. When my religious practices and beliefs began to shift, I was terrified to tell the truth. What would happen to my job? My calling? My community?  But eventually “… the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (Anaïs Nin)  I started speaking the truth. And you know what? I lost all of those things… and rebuilt new more nurturing versions. Was it difficult? Yes. Was it life-affirming and worth it. Absolutely.

Today in our 1Q Interview, I am thrilled to introduce you to spiritual director and long-time colleague, Ronna Detrick. Ronna is the host to all sorts of soulful discussions at her site RENEGADE Conversations. On April 13th she’s hosting a free teleseminar “Telling the Truth in Extravagant Ways.” Today Ronna’s speaking to us about the bravery of truth telling, and how it can change your life for the better.

Q: In our work you and I often hear the hum of fear behind women’s voices when they talk about wanting to tell the truth – the truth about their beliefs, their dreams, and their desires. What is the first thing you say to a client when you hear that fearful hum in her voice? How do you begin to address it together?

A: Such a good question! First, let me say that I can very quickly hear that fearful hum because I have known it so profoundly in my own voice, my own life. When I hear it, the first thing I do is begin asking “what if” questions. “What if you said whatever you wanted?” “What if you felt (and expressed) whatever you wanted?” “What if you did whatever you wanted?” As soon as we step into those realms, the list of risks and ramifications is legion. Our usual response is to quickly pack everything back up, shove it down inside, and soldier on. (I did that for years and can still feel my tendency to do such, at times.) But what I want to create is a level of safety that allows the unraveling, revealing, and storytelling  to continue; to create space in which those lists can be tenderly exposed, and then kindly, slowly, gently wondered about, explored, and talked through…truthfully. It’s not a quick and simple process. But even the smallest movement of our internal voices into external realms – truth-telling – is beautiful, powerful, and profound.

Is there some truth within you that you’ve been longing to speak aloud? We’re happy to listen. You can whisper it (or SHOUT it) in the comments. We promise to give you virtual congratulatory pats on the back and to say helpful and supportive things!
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 You can find Ronna Detrick’s blog and services at RENEGADE Conversations. And don’t forget to sign up for her free April 13th teleseminar, “Telling the Truth in Extravagant Ways” by clicking here.

Our 1Q interviews  turn into 3Q Interviews at our one line soulspa, Flock: soulcare with Magpie Girl. Join us as Ronna gives us tips on staying brave enough to tell the truth, and talks about how the stories of other brave women can inspire our truth-telling. Click here  to learn how to become a member of the Flock.

I know it means not letting your internal authority be overruled by external sources of authority (religious institutions, schools, “experts”). I know it has to do with tapping into your intuition.  I know it is the most essential thing I can teach my children.

Allyson wrote to me asking that I expand on these thoughts. She has been on my mind a lot these days, and I figure that is a prompt from The Muse. So I am going to listen. For the next 8 weeks I will do my level best to write a post on each of the *8Things I Know about Standing in Your Own Power. These may be embryonic thoughts, but embryos have been known to go on to do great things. This week: Defy Institutions.

From the time our parents enroll us in preschool the Institutions start to shape us. Sit in your chair. Face front. Raise your hand. Don’t dot your “i”s with smiley faces.

This is not entirely a bad thing. At their best, Institutions teach us how to work in groups and to play nice with others. They introduce us to new ideas and provide us a place to practice.

The problem with Institutions — particularly church and school — is that a big part of their gig is to be Authority Figures. They get to be in charge because they purport to be the keepers of knowledge and instructions. They Know What to Do. They are the experts at How it is Done.  Furthermore, the Institutions have a vested interest in keeping the status quo. Because if the things they have authority over change — the way you learn, the way you worship, the way you connect to God — well, then they are out of a gig aren’t they? (Unless they can adapt. Unfortunately institutions are notorious bad at adapting at any kind of reasonable pace. They are clunky, those institutions.  Even as culture begins to shift, Institutions remain the same in mis-guided effort to hold on to power.)

Now what if YOU are an emerging, growing being? What if every day you are growing into your own skin, experiencing moments of revelation — what if you are becoming? What if you are doing all these things and you are embedded in the Institutions, which are standing still, ruminating on the past, and reminding you ad nauseam that they are the Authority?

When this happens you experience cognitive dissonance.

The messages the External Authorities are telling you, and the messages your Internal Authority is giving you – your Intuition – are discordant.  What you are being told about How it is Done and what you are functionally experiencing within your own being is not matching up. What Everyone Says and what your Own Wise Soul is telling you to do are clashing. The Institution is telling you to pay attention to their External  Authority, while your Internal Authority is tugging on the hem of your garment.

Now, you’ve been trained since preschool, right? So the Institutionalize Voices in your head are very loud. They are telling you to acquiesce. They are telling you that it is scary to challenge Authority. The Institutions are saying that Bad Things happen to little girls in red hoods who go off the beaten path. They are encouraging you to be afraid.

To this I say, “Bullshit.”

You have a deep seeded source of Divine, Intuitive Wisdom. The voice of the Institution does not get to drown that out.  Start listening to your own Voice. Name it. Acknowledge it. Act on it. And the voices of the Institution, of External Authority, will begin to quiet..and then to fade…and eventually you will rarely hear them at all.

Every time you practice…Every time you notice your Internal Authority…Every time you hear her voice you are standing in your own power. Every time you act upon it, you add to you power and make it increasingly possible to do it again, and again, and again. The effects are cumulative.

Here are some examples of how you might step into your own power, and listen to your Internal Authority:

External Voice: The school tells you to present your report double spaced with one inch margins and the staple angled on the left hand corner.
Internal Voice: You see the whole project as photographs in your head.
Act: Ask to give your assignment as a slide show instead.  (Do it both ways, if you must.)

External Voice: The church tells you to worship sitting in a pew that faces forward, making eye contact with no one but the Authority figure in the pulpit.
Internal Voice: Your body is longing to move and your mouth is full of the words which rest on your tongue.  
Act: Hike to the nearest lake and sing your lungs out while your voice echoes against the cliff walls.

External Voice:  The News is telling you that to survive you have to work full-time in a job that does nothing to feed your soul.
Internal Voice: You are longing for a flexible creative job that honors your body’s rhythms and lets you do what you love.
Act: Forget buying a house, sell your car, reduce your consumption, and strike out on your own.

Conventional Wisdom is frequently out of date, but the Divine Intuition within you is always current, always functional, and always speaking. Defy Institutions. Find your own way.

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Help us make this article stronger and better in its next incarnation. Add your thoughts, questions, and examples in the comments below. (Testify! We need your story!) Thank you for adding to the Giant Pool of Wisdom, now forming. We’re so glad you’re here!

Need a community around you to support you on your quest to Stand in Your Own Power? Flock can help. Join our trailblazing group of women as we dedicate ourselves to “finding a spirituality that fits.” Click here to learn more.

(To read the nararation about SoulRetreats instead, click here.)

Do you want to form a Soultribe of your very own? Are you longing to hole up with some like minded friends for nurture and comfort, but you aren’t sure where to start? SoulRetreats: how to host a tribe with art soul is just what you’ve been looking for — a practical-but-beautiful book to walk you through the steps of organizing your very own SoulRetreat. We’ll help you do it without financial burdens or hosting burn-out. And we’ll do it for just $20 — a small price to pay to be on your way to a tribe to call home.

Order SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul. ($20)

Here’s what’s inside:
SoulRetreats is a soulful, instructive eBook written by Rachelle Mee-Chapman, with special guests Jennifer McGuiggan, Jolie Guillebeau and Rebecca Dallin. Within its 59 pages you’ll find poetic essays nestled alongside practical “YBH” (yes, but how?) instructions. In addition there are webpages where you can share your experiences with other readers; and links to the free online tools you’ll need to make your Soulretreat practical and easy. Because art and beauty are of high value at Magpie Girl, SoulRetreats has an attractive layout with photos and design elements by Neil Sittler of Stickflower Designs.

When you buy SoulRetreats, you’ll also received a link to our free book, SoulFood: how to cook for tribe. SoulFood includes delicious vegetarian and gluten-free recipes by Jolie Guillebeau, and ecumenical table blessings gathered by Jessica Schafer. It makes cooking with your soultribe easy and satistfying.

You have everything you need! Let’s get started.

Order SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul. ($20)

Contents of SoulRetreats

• How Something Good Finally Got Born
• Preparing for Your Soultribe
• Unpacking: Letting Go of Past Tribes
• Invitations and Introductions
• How to Quash a Gremlin Uprising
• Not the Mom: Creating Co-Ownership in a Tribe
• Sample SoulRetreat Schedule
• Tabletop Spirituality
• Ten Tips for SoulRetreat SoulFood
• How Not to Lose Money
• Follow-Up: *8Things to Keep Your Soultribe Connected

Order SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul. ($20)

The Magpie Girl Guides Promise
If you don’t find this book lovely and helpful, I will happily refund your money. Just email me within 30 days of purchase. No worries.

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_____________________________

Cate was yelling at me. Again.

Every day it’s the same story. I pick Cate up from school and she happily shows me the new trick she can do on the peddle car; the stone she dug up in the sand pit; how many times she can hop the jump rope on one foot. We find Eden and start the ten minute walk home. By minute seven Cate is screaming about something. Anything.

We started with sympathy, then moved on to time outs, and I’m sure at some point there’s been some yelling on my part as well. Clearly Cate was struggling with the transition between school and home. Clearly she was angry. And clearly whatever she was yelling about was not what was really bothering her.

Finally, I sat her down at the kitchen table and got down at eye level. I addressed her very calmly and very seriously, “Cate. This isn’t working. You’re having trouble moving between being at school and being at home. I can see that you are angry, right?”

“Yes! I. AM. ANGRY!” (also crying)

“It’s totally okay to be angry. But screaming at Mommy is not okay, right?”

“RIGHT! OKAY? OKAY? RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT!”

“Did you know anger is a cover-up emotion? It covers up some other emotion. Something else is hiding under there.”

“It is?” (now backing down to mere sniffles)

“Yes. And I need you to think about it and tell me what it is that’s hiding under there.”

With that, the floodgates broke open. She missed all the friends she left behind when we moved. She didn’t have any friends at school. And she missed BF Day (her old school.) And some of the kids said mean things. And she doesn’t know Danish yet. And her only friends who speak English live far, far away. And did she mention, she didn’t have any friends at school?

Well, I’d already addressed all of those things. We talked about how making friends was her superpower, but that it took time. I had reminded her that we had only been at the new school for 2 weeks. I had explained that it would take a little longer than usual because we don’t know Danish yet. But, I had assured her, friends would come.

Knowing I’d already said all of this, and having a not unsmall amount of parental wisdom, I did not go into this again. Instead I asked her a question of clarification, “Cate. Do you want Mommy to talk about all these problems with you, or do you just need someplace to put them all.”

“Like what place?”

“Like a shrine.”

“I could make a shrine?”

Sure could. I dove under my desk and came up with three or four odd little boxes and tins. Cate chose a tin that used to hold bandages – Jesus bandagesto be exact. After asking for stickers, tape and some scratch paper, Cate went to work. Soon she had a bonafide Shrine for Hard Feelings. It consisted of the bandage tin, a sticker of a sacred heart Jesus, some fortune cookie sized strips of paper cello-taped to the side, and one of those tiny golf pencils. Cate wrote her hard feelings down on the pieces of paper and tucked them into the tin.

“If I put these in here, Jesus will make the sad feelings go away.” she said.

“Well,” I fine tuned, “Jesus might not make them go all the way away, but at least he can hold them for a little while.”

Cate has been faithfully using the Shrine for Hard Feelings for a week now. Sometimes she’ll start ramping up into a yell-fest, but then you can see her sort of visibly pull up, and she’ll say “Wait a minute,” and go find her shrine. I’ll see her scribbling away, then tucking the paper into the tin and snapping it shut. A few minutes later she’ll be back with me, or her sister, or her dad, and the steam will have been vented.

Sometimes I wonder what all my ad hoc spirituality is teaching my children. I’m trying my best — but so did my parents, and my church, and my religious school — and I sure ended up with a bunch of crap mixed in there with the goodies. If I make up random sacraments, if my children spend their lives building Shrines for Hard Feelings and hurling plates at Anger Altars, will they regret it? I am not sure. But this I believe; my attempts, though small and flawed and most assuredly open for misinterpretation, these humble attempts at caring for these precious souls will teach them these true things

Your feelings are real.
Someone loves you enough to help in hard times.
God is big enough to handle your anger.
There is a place for you.

That seems like a good place to start.

What would happen if you gathered up all the projects you’ve worked on in the past year to two? You might be pleasantly surprised! Stack all your knitting, gather all your sketches, print out all your poems. Let’s open a gallery!

a selection of my collages, with ideas for supplies

It is silent and still as “snow, on snow, on snow”  comes down. Cate and I are bundled up to our noses against the cold, but happy in the oasis that is the walled garden near our urban home.

“Can we visit the Fairy Tree?,” asks Cate.

“Of course!” I reply.

“Oh good, I want to give the Fairies the Snowball of Honor.” says Cate.

When we get to the tree, Cate leaves her snowball in a hollow as an offering.

“Hey Cate,” I say, “tomorrow is Epiphany and we get to find the name of the star we will follow for the year. Want to ask the Fairies what the name of your star will be?” She nods. She closes her eyes and holds out her hand it it’s puffy pink glove. I say, “Imagine that the Fairies are carrying a word to you. They are swirling around you like the snow flakes. And now, they are putting the word in your hand.”  I touch her open palm with one finger. “Open you eyes! ”

The second her eyes open, the word is on her tongue. “Friendship!” she exclaims. “The name of my star is Friendship!”

And so, our new year begins.

Cate, last Winter, at the Fairy Tree.

For those of you who would like to move deeper into a practice of  Epiphany, you can learn more about this tradition, receive a spoken-word blessing, and get help crafting your own High Holy Days atFlock with Magpie Girl: a soulcare spa.  Thanks for being here!

 
Pen’s photo of her Dear John letter — a long overdue break up with fear.

Have you read Pen’s break up letter over at The Penny Has Dropped? Seriously. It’s the best post I’ve read all year.

Like many of you I’ve been kind of blah about reflecting on 2009. And I’m even less organized in my thoughts about what I want to project into 2010. But telling fear to fuck off?  That I’m in to.

So here’s what I’m thinking, tonight, on New Year’s Eve, I’m going to write a break up letter to fear. Not only is it New Year’s Eve, but it’s also a Full Moon, and a Blue Moon to boot. If that’s not serious mojo, I don’t know what is. So what do you say? Wanna join me?

What parting words do you have to say to Fear? Jot them down on a note card. Then take a photo and add it to our Flickr pool to encourage others to dump the bum. Say “I’m in!” in the comments below to help us all along.  “Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.”

The monkey-ish part of my mind is telling me that everything is going to fall apart: I’ll get sick again and not be able to keep up. No one will pay for my services and skill. And the loudest message of all: “Everyone Else is more Helpful than You.”

I’m embarrassingly predictable.

Part of this pattern is attributable to my religious upbringing, which drilled into my subconscious this If/Then clause:

If you ‘step out to do God’s work’ then you will ‘come under attack.’

I point this out because I know many of my readers are in the same boat. I think part of what we do here together, is to re-write our inner narratives so they reflects more health, more shalom. When my voices loom large and I start defining things as “attack,” it helps to remember that this discombobulated feeling is actually a normal part of the creative process; that many of my artistic friends express the same phenomenon; and that like the physical reality of childbirth, eventually these hormonally-things level out.

In the wake of this gremlin uprising, I decided to check in with some of my favorite writers. Once a week or so I go through the blogs on my RSS feeds. I follow about 50 people, and checking in on them is one of my favorite things to do when I feel stuck, or overwhelmed, or lonely. There is so much beauty in these writers and artists, so much wisdom, and hope and breakthrough. Today was no different. Everyone seemed to have cooked up good stuff over the holidays. But this time, instead of inspiring me, those rich, winsome posts started getting me down. “See,” said the monkey gremlins “I told you Everyone Else is More Helpful than You.”

I started getting whiney. Whiney, insecure, and jealous. I don’t want those feelings. I don’t even feel like they belong to me. They belong to my miserly, selfish, un-generous Evil Twin. The real me is grateful and generous. The real me celebrates the success and wisdom of Other Women. The real me is Dangerously Giving. The real me is madly in love with Abundance and throws things out into the universe two handfuls at a time.

So in an effort to quite my Gremlins, settle my Monkey Mind, and banish my Evil Twin, I decided to sing. (Tra La La!) As an antidote, I am Singing the Praises of kind bloggers who have brought wisdom, insight and beauty into my life today. I’m honoring their Passion and Attentiveness. I’m saying: “Hey, look over there at what THEY did!” Most of all, I’m being grateful. Because at my core, that is my truest self.

May you find all these good things and more today.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

Bloggers to Banish The Gremlin Blues

If you need to banish fear from your life: write a Dear Fear letter with The Penny Has Dropped. (She starts with “Dear Fear, fuck off….). And for more on fear, have a cuppa with the ElderWoman (via Anchors and Masts).

If you need a rite of letting go for the New Year:  Pink Coyote has a powerful one. (It involves fire!)

If you need to set aside all the rush and emotion and ups and downs of The Holidays and just celebrate possibility, The Bliss Chick can help.

If you are dreading re-entry to your work/school/normal routine, The Girl Who Cried Epiphany has some good thoughts on dealing with other people’s energy. (A constant growing edge for me.)

Who gave you the food you needed today? Share some link love in the comments below and pass the goodness on!

From colorful celebrations like Dia de los Muertos to more solemn ceremonies like Blue Christmas mass, Kara has gathered an impressive list of resources to help you or someone you love navigate the difficult waters of the holiday season.

In my work as a pastor, and later as a soulcare specialist, I found that those who are experiencing grief are severely underserved. So please, pass this resource around. The world needs people like Kara who know good grief.

8 Creative Approaches to Grief:
creating new traditions for the holidaze
by Kara LC Jones

When talking with people about grief & creativity, I often hear things like, “I’m just not very creative” or “I’m not really an artist.”  The thing about learning to live life after loss is that creativity becomes an every day practice, not just an artistic endeavor.  It’s not always about writing poetry or drawing or painting.  When someone is overwhelmed by grief and goes to the ocean to throw rocks as a way to express anger, they are being creative.  When someone chooses to pay for the coffee of the person behind them, leaving a Kindness Card for the person, they are being creative. 

So at this time of year, when the holidays might end up seeming like a holidaze for bereaved people, I thought it might be helpful to offer 8 seasonal ideas for practicing your creative approach to living life after loss.

1) Remembrance Day and Month
The month of October and particularly October 15th are Pregnancy Loss, Infant & Child Death Awareness times.  Just know that if the death of a child is what has you in a holidaze, you are not alone.  Take a moment each day to light a candle.  Spend a few silent moments honoring your love for that child.  Grief cannot take away your love.

2) Day of the Dead. The month of October is also preparation and lead up to Days of the Dead.  October 31st is sometimes thought of as the day of the innocents, honoring the children who have died first.  Then November 1 and 2 are honoring anyone who has died, who you wish to honor.  There is a long history and cultural context to these traditions, and rituals often vary depending on the particular community in which you celebrate.  But most all include making, decorating, and displaying of sugar skulls.  We host a day every October for people to come to our home, make & decorate sugar skulls, and then place them on our community ofrenda or take home for their personal altars.  We pass the bucket on these days, too, and any proceeds raised go to the local Food Bank in honor of all those we are remembering. 

3) Giving Thanks. While many of would say we feel no thanks at all for the grief that has visited upon us, we can choose at some point to begin paying Kindnesses forward in the name of the person who died, in honor of the love we still feel for them.  One wonderful way to “allow your loved one to touch the world” is through the Kindness Project over at the MISS Foundation.  You basically do a kindness for someone and leave a card for them that says, “This random act of kindness was done in memory and honor of (fill in the name here.”  We’ve heard of amazing and creative stories thru this project over the years. 

4) Children’s Memorial Day. The second Sunday of each December is honored as Children’s Memorial Day.  Though this started as a grassroots awareness movement by one family, it has been embraced by international organizations like Compassionate Friends, MISS, MADD, BPUSA, and more.  When you are lighting your candles for winter holidays, add a candle for remembering those you love, for what you feel you’ve lost, for honoring the love you have that cannot be touched by death or loss.  If you want to connect with others at this time, many of the participating organizations have Memorial Day services, or you can organize your own candle lighting.  For full information click here.

5) Blue Christmas. There has been a quiet movement afoot in the last few years in faith based services.  We’re starting to see “Blue Christmas” masses and “Blue Holiday” rituals being offered.  Though I haven’t yet seen one central website or organization offering a comprehensive listing of these services, you can do a Google search for “Blue Christmas Service” and you’ll find lots of articles and listings.  The thing I find so interesting about this movement is that it is basically a faith based support for people whose faith is flagging at the moment. Rather than giving out platitudes or telling people how they “woulda, coulda, shoulda” feel, these events allow for people to feel what they feel when they feel it and have a place for expression and connection during the holiday season.  That’s a big leap up from the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” era!

6) Alternative Gift Giving. Another part of the holiday season is gift giving.  When we feel down, especially if we are missing someone who is physically gone, this can be a hard ritual to face.  There are several alternatives you might try.  Go ahead and buy for the person.  In our house, we think about how old our son would be now; what we would want for him; what he would want as gifts.  We shop, we wrap, we celebrate.  And we find a family with a child the same age that needs a little help in the gift giving department and we donate the gifts forward.  Sometimes we do this through the local food bank, but the Salvation Army also hosts an Angel Tree program for this each year.  Though I do sometimes keep one of the items to add to my son’s memory shelf in our home.

Another thing we’ve done is to have trees planted through Give-A-Tree program , or donate a flock of chicks through The Heifer Project.  Then we send note or cards to others saying, “Such and such has been done in your honor and in memory of our son.”  It is a way of getting off the endless cycle of material stuff! Not to mention, you are giving something back to the world while still honoring the tradition of gift giving and acknowledging your loved ones who have died. 

7) Time Off, Time Out. The holiday season can be bustling, but it can also be a time when things slow down.  Business slows, people take time off, kids are on holiday.  Be your own best advocate and make time off, time out for you and yours.  We all seem to keep busy schedules these days, blocking off time for various activities of each family member.  Well schedule time off, time out with equal weight and importance compared to any other activity.  Seriously.  Make an appointment for yourself to “Do Nothing.”  Allow yourself some silence.  Some reflection time.  Some time to breathe and feel your body and being.  Imagine setting aside the heavy feelings and grief.  Put them on the shelf outside the room – you can pick them up later.  And for now just sit and breathe.  Let your mind and heart touch on appreciation.  Chant for a few minutes, “I approve of myself.”  You don’t have to believe it, you might feel funny saying it, but try it out.  See how it feels to cheer for yourself, to be your own advocate, to be with yourself in love instead of criticism or hurriedness or mindlessness.  Give yourself the gift of an appointment with nothing!

8) A Self-Care New Year. As we move into the New Year, there is always lots of talk about resolutions and changes people want to make and keep.  But for this coming year, why not consider an alternative to the typical resolutions.  What about making a decision to be present to exactly who you are in this moment?  Instead of being in a constant state of needing to fix, get better, improve, why not be with the you that you are right now.  Tend to the you of this very moment.  Take a few moments in each day to be with yourself in a quiet space.  Listen to your breathing, hear what your body, mind, and spirit are calling.  Honor those callings. 

If your BEing really wants to do something around this practice, then get in the habit of making notes just after your quiet time.  Note what you hear, callings or visions that rose to the surface.  Use those notes to inspire you later.  Maybe they are the basis of some writings you want to do.  Maybe they are the sparks of a drawing or painting or collage you want to make.  Maybe they are the inklings of a new path of learning you’d like to explore.  Let them guide you as you learn to tend to yourself and your heART.

Whatever you decide to do (or not do), be (or not be) this holiday season, know that the holidaze can simply be a calling to explore your every day experience more creatively.  It is okay to add new traditions to old ones or to drop old ones entirely.  Each day you have the response-ability to create meaning in all that you do.  You are your own best advocate for finding your way through the holidaze.  And you are not alone.  Many of us out here are creatively exploring.  Connect as you need and want!  Make the holidays your own.

Kara LC Jones is a Grief & Creativity Coach and the heARTist behind the offerings at Mother Henna. If you found these ideas inspiring, there are other ideas for coping with the holidaze KotaPress, And on the KOTA: Knowing Ourselves Thru Art blog. We’ve also got Creative Prompts year round at both the Mother Henna blog and KOTA blog.