Six months ago I had a dream–a dream of 100 women in a lovely setting, feeding themselves on wisdom; connecting to their creativity (and thus, by default to the divine), and laughing with their new-found soulsisters. I put everything else in my business on hold. I stopped work on my book. I didn’t launch any new classes or products. I gave myself 100 percent to the Soul Sister’s retreat, and I did so with vast, vast joy.
The Soul Sisters gathering is now seven weeks away and we have 26 fascinating women registered, plus 10 kind and winsome teachers and staff. A far cry from 100, to be sure. With a gathering of this size there’s no profit to be made. No records to be set. No great surge of word-of-mouth to be captured.
And you know what? I’m fine with it.
A year ago this shift in size would have thrown me into a tizzy. I would have cried, questioned my judgment, and eaten half a pan of brownies. But right now, at this point in my work–in my self–it barely gives me pause.
Because when the dream took me over, I wasn’t dreaming about numbers. I was dreaming about you.
Yes, the numbers make doing this kind of work more sustainable. 50 makes it is break even, 100 makes it perfectly profitable and thus do-able over the long run. But I wasn’t dreaming of dollar signs or bank balances. I was dreaming about you.
Dreaming of what you need to bring all the intelligence and power within you out into the world.
Dreaming of what you need to feel filled up, well fed, and fully loaded.
Dreaming of what you could do if your selfcare was sufficient enough to release all the skills, and wisdom, and creativity within you.
It gives me shivers really. Because a woman released in such a way could move mountains–with ease, with joy. That’s how powerful you are.
Yes, when I dreamed of this gathering six months ago, I saw you getting both the inspiration and the YBH (Yes, but how?) that would serve you with clarity and practicality. I saw Rachel sitting with you in a circle, teaching you how to finally, finally feed yourself with health and with compassion. I dreamt of Bridget giving you a new tool for selfcare by introducing you to each powerful and precious chakra. I saw Liz pouring words like water over your thirsty soul; and Jenna releasing your voice so you can tell your powerful story. I saw Vivienne teaching you how to love, love, love every curve and angle of your body; and Darrah snapping your picture as you unexpectedly smiled. I watched Molly give you the most amazing tool for going your own way; and saw Kelly lean in, with a flower tucked behind her ear, just to hear your question.
And I saw all the small, powerful things that happened in the in-between moments as well. I saw a picture of a proud-but-tired mama sitting in a quiet bedroom with time enough to hear her own heart. I imagined really fascinating new friends laughing with you in the hot pool. I thought of how it might feel for you to eat a meal you didn’t cook, to sleep in a bed you didn’t make, to have, for this one weekend, time to tend your own baby soul.
None of that changes if there’s less than 100. In fact, it just gets better.
Now my dream is even richer –because now I see you getting more time with each of the coaches and teachers. I see you feel comfortable and not overwhelmed by the size of the group. And I see me, with time to hold your hand, look you in the eye, and say, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Watching myself respond to the shift in a dream has been a pivotal moment for me. My father is fond of calling disappointments, “the death of a dream.” And then he says that when one dream dies it’s so another one–a better one–can come to fruition. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in that–when we’re clenching too hard, when our chest is tight with apprehension. But I’m not holding the dream of the Soul Sisters gathering in that kind of way. This time, no matter what the changes, I still know that I Know, that I KNOW this work of gathering and healing, teaching and empowering is mine to do. It’s a beautiful thing, this freeing of the dream. And I want you to make sure you know this too, for your dream:
When your dream seems broken, it’s just coming into better focus.
What about you, my magpie? Is there a dream you’ve been working on that isn’t quite coming together? Do you feel depleted with the effort to make it all happen? Do you have the resources you need to start small and be powerful?
Maybe you should join us. Maybe we could help.
Even if you can’t make it to Soul Sisters, I want to hold space for your dreams. Send me your dream via snail mail in 100 words or less and I’ll keep it safe in one of the beautiful cigar boxes in my collection. I promise to water it with good thoughts, put it in the sunlight, and breathe over it with kindness. Send it by September 18th with a SASE and I’ll send you something dreamy in return, plus I’ll put your dream in a drawing for a Correspondence Coaching letter with thoughts and advice from one dreamer to another. Send your letter to:
Cigar Box Dreamers
3509 Densmore Ave N
Seattle, WA 98103
(Spread the word. Grow the dreams.)
I want to leave you today with a poem and prayer all in one, by that lover of whimsy and dreams, Shel Silverstien. This is my blessing for you today, my magpie friend.
If you are a dreamer, come in
If you are a dreamer, an hope-er, a liar
a wisher, a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer,
if your a pretender come sit by my fire.
For we have some flax golden tales to spin.
Won’t anyone answer?
Come in. Come in.
*your magpie girl