Comments on: Standing in Your Own Power: Defy Institutions

By: Rebekah

Rebekah — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:01:47 +0000

The first time I read this, I was rendered speechless, first, because of its timeliness, and second because it put words to what I had only been able to feel for a while. (Still sort of there.) Habitually acquiescing to the Institutions and Authority Figures seems to be the area in which I have the most trouble “standing in my own power.”

Thank you so much for writing these posts! Re-reading this morning, I had to let you know. :)

By: Angie Cox

Angie Cox — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 16:54:06 +0000

I continue to be amazed at the people who are being placed in front of me to let me know it’s okay to ditch the institution. It’s okay to recognize the dissonance for what it is. It’s okay to walk away from “x” while walking towards “y”. It’s okay…..

Thank you.

By: Jenna/The Word Cellar

Jenna/The Word Cellar — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 17:15:36 +0000

Thank you for naming and affirming what I’ve experienced, Rachelle, as you have so many times before. xo

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 09:01:59 +0000

If only I had been given this post and your 8 Things: Standing in Your Own Power when I was 16. Better yet, when I was 11 or 6… It would have saved me a lot of time and a lot of years battling the cognitive dissonance before coming through to a place where I know my own power, and recognise the sound of my own voice, and can allow myself to be an authority on myself. Thank you, Rachelle – I look forward to the rest of the series. And I’ll be forwarding this post on to my own daughter right now!

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 05:08:04 +0000

Rachelle,
I’d love an example from the parenting world. Our son kept coming to mind while I read this and I hope, sort of, that he doesn’t conform so much that his spirit is crushed in school by all the “face forwards and sit up straights.” However, as parents I would love for him to get along in the family in a semi-cooperative way a majority of the time. I know that’s asking a lot…and it’s wanting it both ways. Any thoughts on that?

By: Allyson

Allyson — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 09:45:22 +0000

Rachelle,
Thank you so much for helping me with this. I have a better understanding of where you were going in that other post and in words to me. The institutions are all around me and when I have that cognitive dissonance I often discount it, because I don’t want to stick out any more than I already do. I don’t necessarily disagree with all institutions in my life, nor would I throw throw out conventional wisdom entirely, but I now see that they can coexist. Function in one and then do what is necessary for my soul after, during or before it.

I must relay this story that happened today. Tonight was the night that all of the snooty private school moms were getting together for appetizers and drinks at a local bar/eatery. I had not responded to the invitation mostly because I don’t drink around people I don’t know well and it didn’t sit right with me for some reason. I finally said no today. (Nothing like last minute here, heh.) Instead I baked bread with my kids, made artwork for their grandparents for Easter and kissed them both goodnight. That filled my heart a lot more than drinking with women I would rather not associate with. There is that nagging voice though wondering who was there, what was said, and were they talking about me? Dissonance – yeah, I have it in spades.

I guess the basis of my cognitive dissonance is fear, but I just have to determine the fear of what? Once I figure that out I think I can finally say “Bullshit” too.

By: Amie aka MammaLoves

Amie aka MammaLoves — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 04:19:11 +0000

Just back from a photography business workshop. Spent the last few days thinking about whether this is the step I want to take–doing something that feeds my soul.

I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that I stayed up a little late tonight to read this.

By: rowena

rowena — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:11:50 +0000

I get this. A lot. When I taught HS, one of my goals was to teach my kids how to think for themselves, and how to challenge our perceptions of “what is,” which often have been fed to us through the media, schools, peers, etc.

One of my frustrations with being a teacher was that we weren’t really encourage tdo teach the kids how to challenge authority, think for themselves, or really, think at all. In fact, one of the last straws that led me to quit was when I was on a hiring committee, and they wanted to hire the blah teacher who would not rock the boat, instead of the passionate, experienced, scholarly and exciting teacher who would rock the kids’ worlds. It pointed out to me that it was time for me to leave.

But you know what, when you’re out on your own, it’s so easy to forget those voices, especially when your individualized path gets rocky.

I guess that’s why we need a community.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:05:04 +0000

What a great post! Thanks Rachelle, I really needed this. Those damned institutional voices have been nothing but trouble for me recently. Too much dissonant resonance. This has been a great reminder for me. I also love that you referenced Red Riding Hood. I have always thought she got the short end of the stick in the fairy tales. Love you tons!