Comments on: One Q Interview: Christine Valters Paintner

By: deb@talk at the table

deb@talk at the table — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:44:55 +0000

I don’t often comment, but I do love coming here for your insight , the beauty, and the guests and comments such as this.
I struggled when my children ( 5) were small, to feed my soul as it were with some quiet contemplation. I used to head out at night and park under a streetlight,watching the snowflakes until I felt drawn up into the dark. Or even as now, even as yesterday, I watch for birds and quiver of leaves and signs that I can come to the table of love , to the circle of making peace with living and loving and finding the balance in my day.
….rambling a bit , but this is good stuff.
thank you

By: Sunrise Sister

Sunrise Sister — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:14:19 +0000

A Merton fan as well, I find that the Benedictine contemplative is a model that suits my mind very well. I think Rachelle’s points about finding our own contemplative place in a world full of small children and full time business careers and honoring the decisions of how to find “our space” is important. I have retired from active corporate life and connection and feel so guilty at times that I now have the time to find those quiet moments that feel so important to me.

In my gift of quiet, I often pray for those who can only grab moments of time for their own spiritual calm and bless them in their efforts. I also claim to be “saving a place in line” for them until the active world in which they are currently engaged, and called, slows down a teeny bit. My blogsite held this header for two years (I’ve recently changed the header but still believe the message)…….”Busy is not a word or way to define one’s worth.”

Thanks for the post – Abbey and Magpie are regular reads of mine!

By: Abbey of the Arts

Abbey of the Arts — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:06:02 +0000

Rachelle, thanks again for this post – I really enjoyed responding to your questions. You said it well about it not being wise to compare lives with such different commitments, and my choice not to have children was largely because of the great deal of silence and solitude I need in my life. I also believe that people who naturally have fuller lives can approach it with a kind of contemplative presence – Merton’s quote for me is more about not getting carried through the day by each activity but being conscious of its value in the overall whole (and if we can’t see the value, then perhaps to let go of it). You express our different needs beautifully.

By: Rachelle

Rachelle — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:29:09 +0000

Rowena (and everyone reading this post with small children!):

I think there is a time in one’s life, as a mother, when multitasking is a neccessity. I know I didn’t feel like I could slow down much until both kids were at least a couple of years into Elementary school. Then it took a bit for my body/mind to realize, “Hey, if this multitasking thing doesn’t suit you, you could slow it down a bit now.”

That being said, I am a very good multitasker and I’m glad I can do that when called upon. But I’m also happy I’ve learned to do less and that I am more comfortable, and no longer ashamed, when I chose to be still or to move more slowly.

Christine and I are friends IRL and one of the things I had to learn in my friendship with her, was not to compare my life with two preschool-aged children to her child-free life. I also learned, over time, that her need for a great deal of solitude and contemplation could be just as challenging as my need to take caer of two busy children. We all make different choices about how we shape our lives, and have different needs and realties because of that. I like how we as women can honor those difference in one another and support each other.

Something that is helpful for me is to remember that 1)we all have different need-levels for the contemplative life and 2) we all meet that need-level in different ways. A silent retreat for a week will never be my cup of tea. But a few hours to work, or even just to knit, without the kid’s stereo in the background — priceless!

By: Christianne

Christianne — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:15:24 +0000

I always love hearing anything anyone has to say about Merton … especially when they include Merton’s own words! He does say so much with such economy. That, in and of itself, is a spiritual discipline.

I appreciate this perspective about busyness as a form of innate violence. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about nonviolence and peacekeeping this past year, and one aspect of this subject that deeply intrigues me on a personal level are all the violences done against our souls … all the violences that are not physically seen but impart gaping wounds that turn into protective scars over time.

By: Susan

Susan — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:13:34 +0000

Thank you for this post. Really appreciated the shift in perspective that Christine draws via Merton. Typically American culture is so wrong-minded in so many ways it’s sometimes hard to see.

I feel very blessed to have as part of my work as a massage therapist, hours at a time of peaceful music, dim lighting, a meditative atmosphere. I try hard (being the one “working” during these hours) not to mess it up by blab, blab, blabbing!

By: rowena

rowena — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:05:19 +0000

Very interesting. I don’t know how I feel about that, caught as I am between my urge to be creative, and yes, contemplative, and the necessity of taking care of my little kids. I definitely try to limit my busyness… but i still find myself antsy if I am not doing at least 2 or 3 things at once.

I tell you, the contemplative has kind of gone by the way side in the effort to be productive, and the noise of my life.

By: amanda rose

amanda rose — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:50:12 +0000

i’ve heard that contemplation is the highest form of prayer. the idea of contemplation as a way of living day-to-day is beautiful.

By: Sherri

Sherri — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:27:31 +0000

Interesting perspective. I often feel the pace of life society wants us to live (especially in northeast U.S.A.) is far too much for me. I prefer to do things in my own time- perhaps getting a later start than others, focusing on what absolutely needs to get done today or what I personally feel strongly about doing in that moment (the stuff that feeds my soul). I purposely try to limit my activities so that I don’t find myself running nonstop.

By: blisschick

blisschick — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:44:35 +0000

Merton is like a laser in his intensity and precision, isn’t he? He never ceases to make me STOP. It’s hard to get through his books as they are filled with insight from one sentence to the next!

Busyness.

When the majority of a culture believes that their entrance to heaven is dependent upon “good works,” busyness naturally, I think, becomes the martyrdom of choice.

This is a HUGE topic and covers everything, but mostly, of course, busyness is really about emptiness. Which speaks to Merton’s point.

I’m shorthanding a lot here and I apologize…we could just all write many books about this, couldn’t we? :)