The Imposter Syndrome: Diagnosis and Treatment

If  you’ve been hanging out for even a little bit here at Magpie Girl, you know how much I adore my life coach, Jena Strong of Strong Coaching. (website : blog) She’s the perfect combination of compassionate gentleness and no nonsense direction.

Today Jena is here to help with something so many of us in the creative realm struggle with: the imposter syndrome. Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Do you think everyone else knows what they are doing while you are splashing around in the deep end? Then this my friend is for you. Jena, take it away….

The Imposter Sydrome: Diagnosis and Treatment
by Jena Strong

Let’s get the bad news over with first. The Imposter Syndrome is rampant. President Obama should declare a national emergency. Free vaccine clinics should be set up. Thousands, millions perhaps, of talented, creative, wise, and caring individuals suffer from this debilitating, delusional condition.

Now for the good news. There are only a few symptoms and they are really all facets of the same thing: A mistaken belief that you are not good enough. And best of all, the Imposter Syndrome is highly responsive to treatment. Continue reading to learn more, and if you believe you are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, please! Seek help immediately.

GENERAL SYMPTOMS

A nagging voice in your head saying things like, “You call yourself a real _______?” Blank may be filled in with profession or vocation of your choice: Writer, Artist, Life Coach, Teacher, Business Owner, Mom, etc.

Habit of comparing yourself to Other People on a regular basis, wherein you usually come up short.

Certainty that said Other People have It All Figured Out, i.e. they are more confident, competent, and eminently more qualified than you to do whatever it is that you do. And by the way, they most definitely do notsuffer from the Imposter Syndrome themselves.

Underlying anxiety that it is only a matter of time before somebody realizes you are a fraud – and calls you on it, most likely in a humiliating, public manner.

TREATMENT

Remember that other People are not paying that much attention to you.They are much more self-absorbed than that. In fact, there is a significant chance that they themselves are suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, in which case they are most likely thinking how much more confident, competent, talented, creative, accomplished, and qualified YOU are than they are.

Trust the fear. I know this seems contradictory, but here’s what I mean: The more persistent that nagging voice is that’s calling you a con-artist, the more likely it is that you are actually doing exactly what you are meant to be doing. Know that the voice will get louder before it dies down, especially if you start ignoring it, but it will, in time, begin to give up the fight and let you do your work in this world fully and without doubt, second-guessing, and insecurity. Marianne Williamson said it most famously: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world.”

Get to know your gremlin. I cannot recommend this enough. The book Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson is playful and highly useful for this; it’s the only book I ask my coaching clients to read. The fact is, the Imposter Syndrome is the gremlin’s distorted way of trying to protect you from failure. The clearer you get about what you’re really up to, the more impotent your gremlin will begin to feel. Consider writing your gremlin a letter telling him or her why you are bored with the Imposter Syndrome and how it is you plan to move forward.

Make a conscious choice about where to place your attention. Having a working relationship with your Gremlin will come in very handy here. You can start talking to him or her, e.g. “Gremlin (or Shirley or Drill Sergeant or whatever your gremlin’s name may be), I appreciate what you’re up to here, but I’m actually much more interested in _______ (making my art, writing my book, teaching my class, building my business, nurturing my relationships, changing the world) than in your relentless attempts to make me feel small and incompetent. Now go have a cup of tea and I’ll check in with you later.”

Do It Anyway. My father’s best advice to me, on my wedding day, was “Start. Keep Going.” Action is the greatest form of reclaiming your power from the falsity of the Imposter Syndrome. Sure, your gremlin will keep trying to win you back, but the more you move forward, noticing her but not letting her run the show, the more discouraged she will become. (Pretty soon, your gremlin may herself wind up with a case of the Imposter Syndrome. “I’m a total fraud! Who am I to call myself a gremlin?” she may cry. And we will all shed big alligator tears for her.)

Be Honest. Share. Connect. Tell Your Story. Things fester in the dark. Silence, hiding, shame, embarrassment – all of these keep us from shining, from sharing our light and our experience and our wisdom and our gifts with each other. What a loss. Amazing things happen when you choose to speak the truth: it gives the people around you permission to do the same, and everything begins to change.

Find a Buddy. We do this work alone, but we don’t do this work alone. Having a witness, a fellow gremlin-warrior, someone who knows what we’re up to, someone to help hold us accountable, someone to help us get back up when we fall, makes all the difference and helps guarantee our success. Or you might consider working with a life coach.

Celebrate. As you move through this process, bring your awareness to the times when you forget to feel like an imposter. Write them down in a special journal. Take yourself on a date or do something kind for someone who is feeling unsteady. Most importantly, be good to yourself – and spread the love.

For more Jena Strong goodness you can find her in at least a half-dozen places here at Magpie Girl, or WAY better yet, find her at Strong Coaching where she takes local and long-distant clients under her coaching wing.

Posted in Crazy Tamers, Magpie Girl
Tags: Crazy Tamers, Guest Posts, on art, on writing |