Jamie Ridler: On Creativity, Feedback and Our Tender Hearts

 Meet Jamie Ridler, life coach to creative souls and friend to this tender, crazy heart. There are dozens of life coaches in my internet world, and many of them are very, very good. But Jamie is among the cream of the crop. Her generosity and playful wisdom has helped me immensely over the past year. I feel deeply grateful to be included in her virtual circle.

Today at Magpie Girl, Jamie speaks with us about the way creative souls recieve feedback, and how to honor our emotions while learning from the curve ball that criticism and critque can sometimes throw at us.  Do you have a teen or tween? Pass this on to them as well. It’s a life skill I wish I had acquired at 13 instead of 30! Jamie, take it away….

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Recently I asked people why it’s so important to us that people like our artwork. In my own life, I’m noticing how that’s also true for me about anything that I’ve really put my heart into. When I offer a workshop, I’m hoping with all my heart that people are going to love it, that they’ll feel inspired and hopeful and glad they took part.

There’s something wonderful about this. It inspires me to offer my best work and to learn and grow all the time. It comes from a place of deep commitment to the participants and a sincere desire to make a difference in their lives. It reminds me that creating a workshop or a newsletter or a meal or an event is a creative act, one that you pour your soul into.

And what happens if despite all of that, people don’t like it?

Here’s how I’ve learned to handle negative feedback. I hope it bolsters your tender heart the way it has bolstered mine:

1. Let yourself feel what you feel. If I’m hurt, disappointed, angry, defiant or whatever else, I get to experience that like a storm until it settles. I don’t have to pretend it’s not there, judge it, rise above it. I just get to feel what I feel.

2. Look for learning. Once the storm starts to quiet, I see if there’s anything I’d like to respond to. I’m not adjusting the work for one particular person. If I move away from the core of my vision to accommodate someone else, it starts to feel wobbly and I start to feel insecure. That lets me know that I’m moving in the wrong direction. But if I use the information to see if I can bring my creation closer to what I dream of for it, then I can use it to improve the work. There’s joy and confidence in there. The difference is palpable.

3. Let go of what’s not useful. If someone just didn’t like what I’ve created or offered or shared, but it’s something that I believe in or love or is true to me, I remind myself that not everyone is going to love what I do, and that’s fine. What I’ve learned from the information is that my gift is not for this person. I can let the rest go. 

4. Trust. I remind myself that my people are out there, people who will appreciate my unique gifts and offerings. One of the truly important things about blogging is it allows us to extend our reach in finding our people, so that when we share what is uniquely and authentically our gift, we have more of an around-the-world opportunity for someone to read it and get it.

Molly Gordon talks about how in business we have a niche and we have an offer. I think this is true in life generally. Our offer is what we sincerely, authentically bring to this world. It’s who we are and what we share. And our niche is that place, that ecosystem according to Molly, in which that offer is easily and recognizably of value. There’s nothing to be taken personally about being a rainforest plant who doesn’t fit into the desert. Just keep looking for home and reaching out to your people.

Jamie Ridler MA CPCC is a creative self-development coach and director of Jamie Ridler Studios. She helps creative, independent spirits align their lives with their hearts and pursue their dreams with joy, courage and authenticity. She leads Circe’s Circle, a coaching telecircle for Creative Bloggers designed to help you start building your creative dreams. A new session stars September 15th. For updates and inspiration, you’ll find her on Twitter.

Posted in Crazy Tamers, Magpie Girl, Soulcare, Train with Magpie Girl
Tags: Crazy Tamers, Guest Posts, on art, on writing, Soulcare, Teen Coaching, Train with Magpie Girl, tween coaching |