Comments on: Stepping out of the Struggle

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:44:31 +0000

I loved this post so much, and showed it to a friend over coffee on my phone. I think “stepping out of the struggle” became her new mantra.

By: Karen Maezen Miller

Karen Maezen Miller — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:12:56 +0000

Just gorgeous. The sound of the waves lapping. The sound of the tangle untangling. The sound of a good cry.

By: Anj

Anj — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:35:50 +0000

A still sit by a clear lake sounds good…I’ll join you for a while.

By: Heidi/Fuzzy

Heidi/Fuzzy — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:54:37 +0000

This was beautifully written. I think I came to a similar realization a year or so ago. What’s helped me is to create my own haven and just live how I want, or as close to how I want to live here as I can. I don’t think it’s us, though. Denmark is just a very different country and culture.

By: Lissa

Lissa — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:59:51 +0000

Once again you spoke to my heart. I wish many great things for you and one of those things is to just BE.

peace,love,joy
Lissa

By: Tess

Tess — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:54:37 +0000

Sorry to come so late to this post, but I had to post a comment just to say I’m thinking of you by that lakeside. Wishing you stillness.

By: Goddess Leonie I Creative Goddess

Goddess Leonie I Creative Goddess — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:19:33 +0000

Bless you precious woman…
And your magnificent,
heart,
life
and soul.

xoxoox

By: rowena

rowena — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:28:25 +0000

Don’t give up yet. I’ve had a very hard life the last few years. Not even sure how long it’s been, but at least 2 years. And yet…

In the last year, I am really learning to focus on the positives and take the lesson and follow my dreams. People from the outside only seem to see what a lovely life I have, because I have created it, even out of the struggle. It’s still hard, but it is also lovely. It’s taken me a long time to get here, and for a long time, I had to be very diligent about finding the lovely things. I used to make a list everyday. And that helped me work through the not lovely and continue to move forward.

It is about accepting where you are. It is about allowing yourself to feel what you feel without judgment. It is about looking for the good. It is about taking the lesson. And it is not a straight line. It’s very difficult and it is easy to backslide.

But I think I’ve become closer to the person I have always wanted to become precisely because of the struggle.

It’s worth it.

By: Keri Wyatt Kent

Keri Wyatt Kent — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:58:02 +0000

Rachelle, great post. One of my mentors used to tell me a story about HER spiritual director, who told her she was “like a jar of river water, all shaken up.” And what would make the water clear? (she’s not the first person to ask or answer that question) Stillness.

By: Rachelle Mee-Chapman

Rachelle Mee-Chapman — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 14:54:44 +0000

Thank you all for your encouraging words. Most days this week have been a struggle, to turn and look at the present and just sit by the lake. (Instead of leaping into a series of “I wants” and longings for something other which just cannot be fulfilled.) I’m glad I have some company on my bench by the lake.

By: gem

gem — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:29:52 +0000

wow…this is powerful. let’s. let’s just sit by the lake…where stillness pools. exquisite. yes.
blessings to you dear soul,
gem

By: Sia Vogel

Sia Vogel — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:39:02 +0000

Thank you for sharing this. I found it deeply moving and more helpful than I can say here.

By: kellybean

kellybean — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:41:52 +0000

Rachelle
Thank you for this.
And blessings to you, as you Be where you are…
Kelly

By: Kel

Kel — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:39:40 +0000

ah yes
the third way

may i sit with you on that park bench for awhile?

By: jennifer

jennifer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:20:32 +0000

thanks for wriitng this. And right after I read it, I found this which made me think of you….

http://kalman.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/02/06/the-impossibility-of-february/

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:21:52 +0000

After over three years of living as an expat, I realize that at some point, I finally stopped trying to assess, evaluate, categorize, temper and otherwise manage my feelings about life here. It is a huge relief not to have a running commentary of evaluation playing alongside every experience. I can’t say when this happened — it was surely a gradual process. But you are smart to step out. I think it will help.

By: Christiane

Christiane — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:12:42 +0000

I can totally relate. It is difficult to live cross-culturally. Europe is different. And I’m telling you this as a European … well. I also agree that winter is hard in the North. If you ever want to go a little bit South, come visit Hamburg. Spring is lovely here, and sometimes a change of scenery (or jumping cultures, or something) can help locate the things that may fit better than we actually thought. If that makes sense at all.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:42:41 +0000

I love this idea. One thing my therapist has told me repeatedly is to let feelings come, to not assign a judgment to them, and to just sit and let them be. She always said to observe them, like clouds in the sky: “Oh, there’s sadness.” It works for me most of the time.

I think that often times, people who have been raised in Christian Faith feel this pressure to be joyful all the time (maybe people outside too, just seems very prevalent in religion, joy of the Lord, etc.). The truth I’ve discovered is that lots of people feel OK, or even a bit sad lots of the time. And it’s OK.

I think you’re wise not to devote any more energy to “looking on the bright side” or feeling that pressure to. Just let your feelings unfold. Growth often comes in the darkest hours.

Sending you hope and blessing.

By: Silvia

Silvia — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:42:01 +0000

wow this is beautiful. and very helpful for me to read at this moment.
thanks for sharing.

By: The Other Laura

The Other Laura — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:07:48 +0000

This is a powerful idea. My own struggle has been below the surface for a good long while and has culminated in someone saying yesterday, just call a damn therapist already and so, with a phone call, I’ve shrugged off the burden of the struggle or at the very least am not trying to carry it all by myself anymore.

Thank you for sharing.