I could identify with all you’ve written. I’ve definitely felt all of the feelings you’ve mentioned.

My soul tribe right now, has been together for 7 years. Many have come and gone. Some of the leavings have been graceful, some not. We keep getting better at it. The last family that came and went gave no notice. I was left hurt and feeling anger and a lot of self-doubt (was it my fault, can I fix it). Even though the family left with kind words, I felt like I still needed to process this with my tribe. At the next gathering we talked together, about what we’d miss about this family. We also reflected on who we were as a group and gave each other permission to continue to be ourselves, even if others didn’t like it (Ugh. That sounds so egocentric, but I think it has to be that way.)

The last family that moved in and out of our group left b/c they moved back to their homeland in Australia. They led our last gathering and we all talked about joy and sorrow and how they go together. We lit candles, we cried and it felt so right. They assured us that the sorrow is okay. That letting them go will open up a space for something or someone else. It was meaningful on so many levels. I wish we could say goodbye to everyone like this.

I’m putting a bowl with stones on my studio windowsill right now to remember and honor the sadness I still feel.