You know, I think it is true that you do leave a piece of yourself with each partner. An energy exchange. An emotional connection. It’s so important that we each be aware of that and assess whether that exchange/leaving/investment is something we are prepared to offer to our partner(s). Good for you for knowning yourself, and for honoring what is right-fit for you at this age and stage of your life.

Much Warmth,

Rachelle

I was brought up in Catholic schools (till high school, where I decided to homeschool), so I got that same talk, every year, from fifth grade onward. In high school, my family converted to just plain Christianity, and I got involved in the youth group there that met while our parents were in the big church (side note: nice way to teach a kid that not all people who call themselves Christians act like it, especially when you don’t look like or grew up like them… but I digress…). Guess what talk I got again??? The most effective thing there though was not the “STAY AWAY GRRRRR”. This pastor was good about talking about sex. Instead of damning us all and saying that sex was bad and everything, he was very natural and at ease about the subject. What I remember best is him putting a piece of tape on a guy and taking it off, then going on to the next person and so on with random people he pulled from the mini-audience. He said that that is what it’s like, leaving a piece of yourself with that person.

I don’t think that sex is bad, and I don’t think that I’d go to hell for it. I also don’t think that it’s something I personally want to do before marriage. Odd coming from a 22 year old, huh? This is based upon religion and my trust issues. I know that if I had sex with a guy and he left, I’d feel horrible and more depressed and bad than ever. I have a boyfriend who thankfully is understanding about it all, and actually has a goal to do the same. I want the man I marry to know that I waited for him, that I saved myself for him. Really, I like waiting. It shows me what guys are worth my time. :)

I love that you’re so great about it with your kids. I love the line you put in this post. I know my mom would flip (though she had a kid at 14), and my dad would shoot the guy if I had sex and they found out, lol.

Oh, and I figured you’d get a kick outta this… My boyfriend said that, when he was a young teen, a pastor at his Southern Baptist Church that his family still goes to (without him) sat him and a group of other teen boys down, then proceeded to solemnly and seriously tell them this: “Jesus lives in all of us. Don’t poke Jesus.”

Still haunts my boyfriend to this day!!!!! lol

Your new fan,
Lexi

xoxo

I grew up in a very similar religious upbringing so I can totally related to everything you shared. What jumps out at me now that I’m reading it is that no one talks about how to change this perception of sex (it being nasty and wrong and sinful) once you do get married. How is one to truly enjoy something that’s been forbidden and talked about with disgust? Really?

I love the pledges you’ve made to your girls. How wise is that. I will be sharing this with my dh and then writing our pledges (which may be the same).

THANK YOU so much for this!!!