I think the most productive thing for me is to keep track of the happy moments in my life. On some days, this is easy, as I am right there in the moment, paying attention to the goodness that is there. On other days, it’s very very hard to find only three things to list. But writing them down keeps my mind focused on the positive, not the negative, and it also makes me notice the happiness more while I am in it, even if I forget to write it down later.

Also making me happier… writing, journaling, poetry, painting. Being creative in general. And yesterday, making a good chicken dinner got me out of my funk, and then eating it outside on a lovely evening.

Also, when I read over my old journals, it helps me gain perspective on where I am now. I remember that I have been here before, and I have come out. Low spots always come, but they always go away, too, and dawn always comes.

May you also walk in light today.

I’m so late with my response to this post, which I actually read just hours after you published it. It’s one of those posts where one wants to choose just the right words to communicate understanding and comfort and offer, if not a cure, some therapy to pull you back from the abyss. And when I’m trying to write a “perfect” response, I procrastinate. But that’s not helpful and it’s actually pretty self-centered….so, just know there is loving concern and empathy in this comment.

The “black dog” visits me now and again. Until you wrote this, I didn’t realize how important rhythm is to keep it under control if not completely away. Thank you. Some mornings it’s hard to start the rhythm, let alone get out of bed. But then I think of people who inspire me and bring me joy…and you are in that group. Truly.

Thank you to all the commenters, too, for their ideas.

There’s so much good stuff in here — reading to help keep us present, word collage, the handy nature of lists, and of course, the power of doing something as simple as taking 5 minutes to just breathe.

I’ve just returned from a week in England — thus the silence until now on the blog. But please know that even when I can’t reply to your kind comments right away, I am always thankful for your presence here.

May we all walk in much light today.

Yours in the Journey,

Rachelle

Much peace and love to you.

I have terrible seasonal depression, so during the winter months, it’s all I can do to simply survive, to keep on going. Sometimes I pretty much don’t. My secret is to reach out to other people. When I’m having a bad day, I bake cookies for friends, or buy doughnuts for my workplace, or write someone a kind note. I send love letters to myself. I say to myself “You are beautiful and kind, and your heart is so, so good.” I try to do the dishes, or make my bed. I consider even the very small tasks I complete to be huge accomplishments. I give myself grace. I experience my feelings. I write voraciously. I try to understand why I feel the way I do, and deal with those feelings.

You bring me hope, hope that I will one day be as beautiful of a soul as you are, that I will express my spirituality in as unique of a way as you do, and that I will be as confident and beautiful a woman as you are. Perhaps I can bring hope to another young woman, a stranger though she may be, through my blog–as you have for me.

Be well and joyful.

Routine really helps me. Since I’ve been home from S. Africa my schedule from one week to the next is different. My school load varies noticeably and my work schedule is not consistent. And this all makes me feel on edge. I don’t make plans with people because I don’t know if i’ll be able to follow through. I’m erratic. Busy but lonely. And bored.

So I’ve made up a mini-routine for each thing that comes up. When i have school work, I work 45 minutes and take a 15 minute break. Repeat until finished. When I have free time, I try to take at least 5 minutes to sit and space off and breathe…and by then I ususally know how I really want to spend my free time. OH! and lists. I make lots and lots of lists. This week there were a couple days of feeling like I might not get everything I needed to do, done. It felt terrible. I panicked. So I wrote out a very detailed schedule of what I needed to do and designated a time to do it. It felt so great when i was finished. I don’t actually have a great short term memory so having to do a lot of small details in a week is incredibly difficult for me-the list helped me focus on the now because there was time for the rest later.

More than a handful of times, in the midst of a time of low-grade depression a good book has helped more than I can describe. The year I moved to Florida, it was “The Poisonwood Bible”. It’s not only that books are entertaining to me, but when I’m feeling empty and apathetic they help me recreate a safe space for creativity. Like some babystep transferrence of hope.

I miss you often. Sorry you’re having a hard time and that you’re having to grieve loss.

I think you are lovely and beautiful.

-Mis

I haven’t seen much poetry from you, but obviously you like words and you also like collage. How about trying poetry to observe the moment? Even just writing down single words about what you see around you can turn into writing words about what you get from the moment through other senses and that can lead to small thoughts or short sentences… whatever, it leads to, it’s like a word collage. Simple poetry play to tether you to the moment. Maybe?
I’m sorry to hear about the depression. Yuck.

(Yes, I will be sending you a response in our convo soon!)

Hello to your family!

Love Karla’s post too. Really wise stuff. I found myself nodding through the whole thing.

I’ve been feeling the same doldrums - L.A. was eerily overcast and chilly this last week. For someone who already tends towards melancholic, seeing the sun break for the first time this morning was a boost of joy.

I need movement, exercise, the outdoors and social connection to stave off depression - unfortunately not so many friends for me in this city and though I live with my best friend I barely see her b/c our work schedules are opposites.

My question to you (and any others who do Morning Pages): Do you do MPs regularly, no matter what? And how do you commit to that?

I am a night owl and if I have to rise before noon I never get the pages done. As a child I was a bedtime diarist - perhaps I need to return to that…?