8 mind-numbingly hard questions before breakfast
Well boys and girls, these are the questions asked of me by my nine-year-old between 8:20 and 8:31 this morning:
“Why does God let our bodies hurt? I mean, why make my ears hurt when I’m trying to help it get better after getting them pierced?”
“Why doesn’t God just make illness stop? It’s mean of him to let people be sick, I mean, if God can do anything then why doesn’t he fix that problem.” (Notice, this child insists on using the masculine pronoun even though I primarily use the feminine. She doesn’t like new things, this one. In contrast, the other one is bouncing a blue balloon on one finger and insistently shouting, “Yes she does answer us when we pray. She does, Mommy!” Meanwhile, the agnostic one is making cheese sandwhiches and laughing his head off, which is not entirely uncommon.)
“Why doesn’t God make it easier to understand things he says– I mean, if we can’t communicate too well with him, at least he could communicate with us because he made us and he should know how to talk to us? I mean, if his mind is so much bigger than ours that it makes it hard for us to understand they ways he is thinking, couldn’t he just—you know—adapt?”
“Why doesn’t God just take care of things when we need him to, just answer our prayers?”
“How am I supposed to just trust God? I mean what if a criminal had a dog, and I trusted the dog as soon as I saw him. But then, because he was a criminal’s dog, the dog attacked me and killed me. How do I know God’s not like that?”
“Mommy! God should just make sure that everyone can see him really easily. I mean, there hasn’t been a miracle in a LONG time. And he should just make sure everyone can understand him. (Pause) Because then more people would believe in God and its good to know God. (Pause) He’s is pretty good to know still. (Pause) Even if I am still really upset about that feeling pain and being sick stuff.”
Yikes! Does anybody have a book called “A Kids’ Guide to Theodicy?” or maybe “A Child’s Garden of Prayer and the Problem of Evil?” Anyone? Huh? Huh? Anyone?
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December 4th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
oh dear. i wish i could say this was not a precursor to atheist/rationalist rants, but i’m not for certain!!! hang in there, dear friend! at least we have advent and waiting for light as a backdrop to the madness.
December 5th, 2007 at 12:16 am
Rachelle,
Your question made me think about James Fowler’s theory on the stages of faith development. A school age child is in stage 2 - where they make sense of their faith through story. Faith is not an abstract thing on its own.
But, stage 2 breaks down, when, according to Fowler, the stories start to clash. Stories of God’s goodness suddenly dont sit well next to stories of pain and suffering. This discomfort will only grow over the next couple of years until the child moves into stage 3 - propelled by the new cognitive abilities adolescence brings.
So, in a sense, her faith development is right on track - she is probably expressing it at a much higher level than a lot of kids, but she is going through the same process everyone goes through. Fowler would probably say that you can try and help her hold paradox as best you can, but dont be too hard on yourself because until heightened abstract thinking arrives in the “puberty package” there is only so much her brain will be wired to understand. But, pointing out experiences of “safe” paradox now might give the harder conversaitons in stage 3 a little more to rest upon.
Just my 2 cents….or, rather, James Fowler’s 2 cents :-)
December 5th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Talk about refective kids:) I hope some of their thinking rubs off on my son, our conversations with him tend to still be more our Pokemon and why we shouldn’t spit. However, you’re inspiring me to stop and notice and encourage, and maybe I will notice some more teachable moments. Thanks so much for sharing your world.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
I loved your description of each child’s faith…I have the same thing over here and it never ceases to amaze, how different they can be when raised by the same woman!!
Whew…I hope you had your coffee, my friend…..
December 16th, 2007 at 8:26 am
I would say those are some very astute questions. I ask them all (albeit in different language and terms) even today.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:13 pm
God, I love that kid!!
Keep asking baby girl… keep asking!
April 9th, 2008 at 3:16 am
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