Immigrant Diaries: Tales from a girl in Copenhagen
Immigrant Diaries is a new category at Magpie Girl. Here you will find our adventures in Denmark. We move to Copenhagen with the New Year.
In thinking about our move I found myself saying “But we won’t be immigrants there, not really.” Then I was struck by the implicit racism in my own thinking – I had only been categorizing people of colors as ‘immigrants.’ Everyone else had some sort of special ‘I belong’ status in my mind. But we will, in fact, be seen as immigrants in our new home, our whiteness for the first time not granting us the immediate status of belonging. I’m curious as to what that will be like, so here I will record that story.
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On the quest to have one’s own identity while still pursuing cultural harmony:
I could tell right away they were not Danes. Most obvious, of course, was that they had dark skin – a rarity in this platinum blonde nation. She was ‘eating American,’ that is, picking up pieces of her too-chewy cinnamon bun with her fingers. He was pouring ketchup on his eggs. Neither had rye bread, cold sausage, or cheese on their plates. When they spoke British accents emerged, confirming my suspicions.
This is how people see me here. Small tell-tale habits give away my otherness, even when my mouth stays silent. I will never truly fit in.
And why should that be my goal? True, I want to shed my ‘ugly American-ness,’ but I still want to celebrate my unique otherness—as should we all.
Being here has made me aware of how much time I do spend trying to fit in. I’d like to think it is because I want to avoid giving offense. But the truth is I do it at home too, so I know it is not really about deferring to an unknown culture.
This morning I queued to the right on the stairs, ate my pastry with a fork, thought about growing my hair out long – maybe even ceasing to dye it red. Then I realized; I was in immediate danger of losing myself to a false image. I made a conscious decision to be gleeful, but polite, about not fitting in.
“Please don’t let me be ordinary,” my mother used to sing to me from The Fantasticks. It is true that from a young age I have never wanted to be ordinary, have never felt like one of the group. My intutive pull has always been towards the other, the fringe, the outsider.
Still, I’ve always wanted my uniqueness to be from clever choice, not from alien necessity. Here, where one of the national values is “equality through conformity,” I am nervous of being “the immigrant”—of sticking out due to my ignorance of the social norms—this social awkwardness feeling very different from my state-side approach of making a conscious choice to subvert the commercial monotony of the crowd. I don’t want to be different here out of mere social awkwardness. But then again, even moving here will be from choice, from some vaguely daring internal sense of adventure. So I guess on days when my ego needs the tiniest bit of a boost, I can chalked my cultural awkwardness up to cunning personal choice. When I need a shot in the arm to get out and get past all of the unknowns, I can look at my choice to dwell abroad, to be the cultural other, and say like Peter Pan, “Oh, for the cleverness of me.”
Entries
October 9th, 2007 at 4:38 am
I look forward to peeking over your shoulder as you move through this transition (and I applaud your intention to be gleeful and polite about not fitting in — good words to live by regardless of where one is!)
Wishing you many blessings in this new stage of your life
October 9th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
I’ve always experienced that ironic pull to be different but not an outsider. Like you, I “wanted my uniqueness to be from clever choice, not from alien necessity.” Then when I spent a year in England, I struggled with the desire to fit in and not stand out. It’s an interesting dichotomy and a slippery slope. But I’m confident you will navigate it all with grace. What an exciting adventure you’ll have!
October 9th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
I think you, unique, beautiful, talented you will be a sparkly thing/person wherever your life’s journey takes you.
October 10th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Rachel…I am thrilled for you as you say Yes to this opportunity
May rich blessings come your way as your soul prepares to ‘immigrate’
and
as you transition your family and your belongings…(no small task!)
October 15th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
oh sweet one…
great blessings on your new journey and adventure!
i like the way travel puts us in this new place… where we begin wondering if our personal particulars are truly our own, or that of our culture…
may your soul gather armfuls of fresh blossoms ~~~
October 18th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Wow..how exciting. I am of Danish descent but never have been there. My husband gets to go a couple of times a year b/c he works for Vestas, an alternative energy wind turbine manufacturing company.
Last time he was there one of the staff over in Denmark had recently returned from his first trip to America. His thoughts on the best part of America? Hooters. My dh told him he drives by one every day and the man got a dreamy look on his face and said “you are the luckiest man alive”.
November 20th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
[...] It’s bittersweet to be here these days, knowing that I’ll have to pack it all up soon. I got a lot done here, in this room of my own. I grew as an artist and writer. I tried brave new things. But, all in all, all of my bigger goals have gone unmet. I’m still not making money as a writer, or as a minister. After much initial interest, my first book proposal is still drifting around, nearly dead in the water. People ask me to teach, then back down when they hear I charge a standard professional fee (that’s life with non-profits I suppose.) I haven’t figured out the freelancing thing. (I can’t seem to write fast enough to get out the critical mass necessary to land a few articles.) And my Etsy shop was just starting to turn a profit, but now I have to shut it down in January because of the overseas move. [...]
December 2nd, 2007 at 11:25 am
[...] schedule evaporated in a sea of poor planning. Ironically, in the midst of packing for an international move, this year we seem to be approaching this season with a more reasonable sense of time. To help this [...]
May 13th, 2008 at 3:32 am
[...] that we’ve recently moved to a new nation, I’ve done very little public writing about our life in Denmark. There are sheets and sheets of [...]
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:28 am
[...] to read more about the beginning of our immigrant journey? Start here, then move on to this and this [...]