It’s Thursday and one of the last lovely days of camp, wherein my children are gone from my care for a whopping six hours a day. This means that I can skitter off to my studio and try to make heads or tails out of all the ideas, business cards, and dreams that have infiltrated my being since BlogHer ‘07. Sadly, today I am waylaid by yet another day of killer untreatable migraines. (Day 3 of level 7 pain.) I worked through the pain the last two days, but I don’t think I’m going to make it today. I’m typing in bed right now with one of those old fashioned ice bags balanced on my head. Ice on your head by 9am is not a good sign. I really hope I’m not complete laid out flat by the time Paul gets home from work. It’s so sucky for him to have to be single parent man night after night.

What makes this round of migraines particularly disheartening is that it is drop dead gorgeous outside – high 70’s/low 80’s with a lovely little breeze and sun as far as the eye can see. We’ve been waiting all Summer for this kind of weather, and where am I when it hits? Behind the shades in my attic bedroom wrapped in ice and darkness. Ugh.

Well, the least I can do is jot down the absolutes that have come do me as I’ve let the post-BlogHer idea-fest percolate in my brain:

- I want to be the priestess of special events: weddings, births, coming-of-age, deaths, high holy days, etc. I’d like to make a business of this, and although I already have a master’s degree from a good seminary, I think I may do something like this as well. (Although Jen says I need to do doula and hospice training to heal my inner self from all the trauma of Simeon’s stillbirth and my other two shitty birth experiences. Jen’s attitude is “something healing this way comes.” And mine is, “Yeah….whatever.”)

-I want to get paid to write about these things – though books, articles, and as a paid blogger. (Anyone ready to hire?  )

-I want my writing-and-art-making life to be connected to my spirituality.

In order to make these things a bigger priority, I’ve learned that there are a few things I need to change or do:

-I can’t lead a weekly spirituality group any longer because my energy for spiritual practices is focused on special events, not weekly gatherings…. and because it demands too much of my writing time.

-The things I offer for sale at buy magpie need to be connected to my priestessy life. So, I’ll probably need to fade out of the vintage world and focus more on things that are directly related to soul-care: rosetta stones, saints and sinners, soulful zines, etc. (Damn! And my vintage sales were just starting to roll…maybe my housemate Rebecca will want to take over that little gig….)

-I need to spend time every week looking for places that I can submit articles to. These pieces have to be related to women’s spirituality, children’s spirituality, communal living, seasonal celebrations, and artful living.

-I do not want to write (primarily) about parenting issues. I’m not a mommyblogger.

- I do not want to take any ol’ paid blogging gig – only something that has to do with spirituality/soulcare.

Okay, I think those are the big epiphanies. I’ve been all over the map lately, goal-wise, and I feel like I’m starting to regain some focus again. ‘Though I’m sure I’ll remain distracted by sparkly things for some time to come. Oh, and one more idea:

-I want to produce a “small is beautiful” art-zine/guide for small bloggers. (Oooooh! Pretty! And also very soulcare-ish!)

Oh goodie, now the Blue Angels are practicing for their weekend extravaganza by doing fly-bys over my rooftop. How can something be simultaneously so amazing (precision formations! technical skill!) and so depressing (fuel consumption! military recruitment!)?

Well dear ones, do pray for me. Let’s all hope that Jen is right, “something healing this way comes.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 at 9:51 am and is filed under Magpie Girl.
Tags: Migraines/Chronic Pain, on writing



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