Such a bad friend: tales of an insecure author
Claudia, a sweet and super-productive writer friend of mine, has finally made it big. So big she has multiple book deals with real and artful covers and profession photos of her self blown up to giant proportions at booksellers conferences – photos where she looks super cute and inexhaustible interesting—and y’all know that an adorable picture when you are no longer in your twenties is a figgin’ gold mine. Claudia’s life has been shockingly difficult—is still shockingly difficult, in spite of this beautiful commercial success, and I should be turning summersalts for her in front of the capital building.
But instead I had the teeniest, tinest, pitty party of a cry.
My book – not my baby, just a book, but my first book – is still sitting on my agent’s list of not-yet-picked-up manuscripts. It’s been roundly rejected by all my Christian publishing contacts who so eager asked me to “send them something” because it’s to…um…I guess the nice way to say it is “interfaith.” (Really, they probably just think I’m a raving heretic.) Now it’s making the rounds of smaller less ‘religious’ and more ‘spiritual’ publishing houses, but still no bites. My agent swears that it’s great writing and just needs to find the right home. The poor thing has been homeless and hoofin’ it for about six months now and I’m beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, part of an literary agent’s job is placate vaguely neurotic writers until he finally, absolutely must admit that the whole thing is a no-go.
I know it’s shallow, and Ani DiFranco, she-who-didn’t-sign-with-a-label, would shake her head in dredlocked disapproval, but it I personally would find it very encouraging right now to have one piece of my work stamped “professional.” I want/need to be able to say “I am a writer” and have something to show for it. Also, I think Soulcrafting: 12 spiritual practices for soulful kids is somethign a lot of people could really use right now. And lord knows my marriage needs me to bring in some money so there’s some kind of fiscal equity going on.
Andrea says to ask for what you want. So I am, loudly and often.
I want to write and publish a book without compromising the integrity of the work.
11 comments
Boy, do I sympathize. We’re having a pity part over at my blog: http://www.literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com Come on over and bring some of your rejections if you’d like. BTW, you *are* absolutely a writer. You are having the quintessential writerly struggle. It will season you and make a great story when you hit it big. Keep the faith, sister.
Rachelle,
I read SoulCrafting and loved it. My wife loved it too. I brought it to our pub board here with the knowledge that it would make some squirm. And it did. It’s a crazy mixed up world here in Xn publishing. We’ll take ole’ Claudia (who deserves it), but pass on such a fantastic book as your’s. Fallen world, I guess.
Take courage. And don’t compromise the integrity of your work.
John
Rachelle,
This doenst make you a bad friend. It makes you a human friend. :-)
Without knowing what is in your book proposal, I can still know that it is very good stuff, just becuase I know you. And anyone who has read more than an entry or two here knows you can write. I wonder if your ideas would find an easier home in fiction? Secret Life of Bees found its way inot the hands of many more readers than Dance of the Dis Daughter, but they’re the working out of the same ideas. You love to read fiction, maybe you could write it?
JK Rowlings 11 year old magical boy sat on a shelf for two years : )
Oh, lovie. You should have invited me! I love a soulful pity party! I so would have cried with you, and regaled you with AWFUL tales of what that ginormous piccha cost me. Because tomorrow it can all fall apart. I trust NONE of it.
But you, my star, you are a wonder. And agent is right. You MUST find the right home. It is worth the wait. It is painful to be in the wrong place. PAINFUL! It just takes time. I wrote and waited and hoped for years, and didn’t get that break until I was 40 years old. Trust the timeline for your life. Make your art. Be fabulous. Know that God and Grace are conspiring to make this happen for you. Many prayers are going up for you. Many people are dreaming this dream for you. We will drink the wine of gladness together one day. Soon. And I will be celebrating you! I promise, lovie.
Hang in there.
Try http://www.puddinghouse.com/
An acquaintance is an editor there. May be worth a look. The owner is UU which is very interfaith.
Blessings,
- Wendy
Mair,
I knew you’d say “Oh baby girl, just wait! It’s all gonna be alright!”
Which is why I got over it real fast. :-)
Love you!
O my word where did all you great people/bloggers come from. I feel like I’ve just found some kind of group of cool artsy deep thinking bloggers all in one fell swoop. From Jen lemen to your blog, to this superhero person to ragmuffin diva…. woo hoo.
What a lovely hook up. :) Glad to have stumbled in here. I cheerlead your naming what you want and look forward to checking out this book someday.
Wow – I feel for you but at least your story is complete I am struggling to just get mine going do you like your agent overall he was with Alive communications at one point so he must know what he’s doing eh?
My comments had a crisis of some sort and ceased working for days without calling in sick. I had no idea they were down until I found a backload of messages waiting for approval in my moderation que.
Thanks all for encouraging words and helplful suggestions. I think it’s learned skill to not throw in the towel with each roadblock encountered. I’m a slow learner…but I’m getting there!
I’ll keep you all appraised…
Hi–I just came to your blog after seeing you at BlogHer where I enjoyed the session you and Jen hosted. I haven’t read enough of your blog to know but from the title, your book sounds similar to the book Amanda Soule is having published this fall. I’m not sure if you’re a reader of her excellent blog soulemama.typepad.com but she posted in this category: http://soulemama.typepad.com/soulemama/the_inspired_family/index.html (scroll down) about her publisher/book deal etc. Maybe that is a publisher to investigate? Just thought I’d put it out there ;) Hope you enjoyed BlogHer!
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