Time to Light Things
I had to go to the ER yesterday for a migraine. I’ve only had it get that bad once before, but it’s very very scary. The morphine didn’t actually make the pain go 100% away and I’ve still been achy and in bed all day today. … and did I mention afraid? Definitely struggling with being afriad…as in “what if this doesn’t go away?” afraid.
My neighbor, who makes chocolate among having other amazing and love-worthy traits, Elizabeth, took me to the ER yesterday. She says I have a lot of amazing red priestessy in my head chakra and that there is dark energy trying to hold it back. She says the old days aren’t working any more. She says I need more “F-You’s” in my life and it’s okay to tell people to go away and shut up. She even said I could say F-you to her if what she was saying wasn’t making sense.
It does make sense.
I just don’t know exactly what to do about it.
Anyway, prayers and lighted candles and all manners of helpful energy sent my way would be very VERY much appreciated.
Did I mention I’m scared?
3 comments
Praying for a soft stillness to hold your fear. Also praying for the pain to leave 100%. Praying that you find a tiny bit of friendliness in this dark place.
I’m lighting a candle for you. I’m so sorry this happened, and about the fear. If you decide f-you’s are in order (I can relate to the need for more of these), I hope they come out in ways that feel true to you and that they produce what’s needed in your relationships. (Good lord, do I sound like a therapist-in-training or what? Well, it’s what I’ve got. :) )
First, I”ll extend a heart-felt, loving cyber hug. Second a virtual candle…no real ones at this moment, as I’m at work and the power’s back on (they broke all kinds of rules with administrative blessing when the power was out over the weekend…including candles!). Third, I think an e-mail is in order. I was inpatient for 5 days last spring with an intractable migraine, and was just in the ER a month ago for another one. After conversing with my neuro, we have a new plan…I’ll share it in hopes it might help drive away your fear. And lastly, know that whatever you need, whatever this might mean for you, it’s okay to just be for now. Rest. Be gentle. Honor your need. And remember that a dark closet, where fear lives, is only dark so long as you keep the door shut…when you open the door, the Son/Sun can come shining in! (But close your eyes if you’re photosensitive in a migraine epi! ;) (((HUGS))) –Karla
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